advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
MeXoXO
Member
MeXoXO Confused
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: London
Posts: 97
5 yr Member
181 hugs
given
Unhappy Feb 18, 2021 at 05:25 PM
  #1
Hi, last year a friend of a friend took her life. Before she did this I kept seeing her profile popping up on Facebook and wasn’t sure whether to add her as a friend and then I heard about her death. I felt sad for like a day and then I didn’t pay much attention to it.

A few months later I met someone that looked like them and I started feeling a strong sense of sorrow then this feeling went away. It was the anniversary of her death this month and that sense of sorrow came back and I’ve become quite hyper-vigilante and angry I guess.

On top of that I also feel like I'm over exaggerating and that I'm making it about myself ? I didn't know her so I shouldn't feel this upset.

Any tips on how to deal with this.
MeXoXO is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, CANDC, possum220, Travelinglady
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, CANDC

advertisement
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,326 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 18, 2021 at 09:42 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeXoXO View Post
Hi, last year a friend of a friend took her life. Before she did this I kept seeing her profile popping up on Facebook and wasn’t sure whether to add her as a friend and then I heard about her death. I felt sad for like a day and then I didn’t pay much attention to it.

A few months later I met someone that looked like them and I started feeling a strong sense of sorrow then this feeling went away. It was the anniversary of her death this month and that sense of sorrow came back and I’ve become quite hyper-vigilante and angry I guess.

On top of that I also feel like I'm over exaggerating and that I'm making it about myself ? I didn't know her so I shouldn't feel this upset.

Any tips on how to deal with this.
Hi MeXoXO. I am sorry for the loss you feel. I see people suffering and I get choked up about that. It is not strange to me that you feel the loss of this person.

It also seems from what you say that you feel guilty or responsible. When I lost my dad I had this wave of "What could I have done differently to prevent his dying?" After a lifetime of him living the life he wanted to, there was nothing I could do.

What they needed was probably a lot more than a facebook friend could offer. They sound like they had a serious challenge. It is sad when anyone takes their life, but it must be an act of desperation in a situation where they cannot feel hope of getting through things. I wish I could play this song for those who have lost hope Josh Groban - Impossible Dream for BBC Radio 2 - YouTube

I find that some youtube videos help me deal with my emotions. Here are a couple:
Padraig O'Morain on Self-Compassion - YouTube

Mindful Acceptance - YouTube


@CANDC

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
possum220
Legendary
 
possum220's Avatar
possum220 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,397 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
7,983 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 19, 2021 at 04:26 AM
  #3
Grief can be a strange emotion. Like some type of chameleon. You may think that it is related to one person but it is actually related to another person or other situation. Dont look too hard. The answer will show up eventually.
possum220 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
Breaking Dawn
Legendary
 
Breaking Dawn's Avatar
Breaking Dawn Thankful for my blessings.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
42.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 19, 2021 at 05:54 AM
  #4
Hi, @MeXoXO, I don't know if this is useful or helpful, but is it possible it's mostly about you being a sensitive person? I feel the way you describe when I hear sad stories about strangers in the news, & celebrities I've never met, & characters in a novel who aren't even real. I end up grieving as if I knew them. I guess that's kind of weird, but I can't help the way I'm wired, maybe genetically. Do these examples feel familiar to you?

__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
Breaking Dawn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MeXoXO
 
Thanks for this!
MeXoXO
MeXoXO
Member
MeXoXO Confused
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: London
Posts: 97
5 yr Member
181 hugs
given
Default Feb 19, 2021 at 05:20 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn View Post
Hi, @MeXoXO, I don't know if this is useful or helpful, but is it possible it's mostly about you being a sensitive person? I feel the way you describe when I hear sad stories about strangers in the news, & celebrities I've never met, & characters in a novel who aren't even real. I end up grieving as if I knew them. I guess that's kind of weird, but I can't help the way I'm wired, maybe genetically. Do these examples feel familiar to you?
Yeah that sounds really familiar
MeXoXO is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, CANDC
buddha1too
Veteran Member
buddha1too We are all Buddhas becoming.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 735
10 yr Member
2,547 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 21, 2021 at 12:49 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn View Post
Hi, @MeXoXO, I don't know if this is useful or helpful, but is it possible it's mostly about you being a sensitive person? I feel the way you describe when I hear sad stories about strangers in the news, & celebrities I've never met, & characters in a novel who aren't even real. I end up grieving as if I knew them. I guess that's kind of weird, but I can't help the way I'm wired, maybe genetically. Do these examples feel familiar to you?
Boy, does this ever sound familiar! On the news they quite often have stories about the lives of exceptional human beings who have been lost to the pandemic. More often than not, I find myself getting teary-eyed. I'm right there with you, MeXoXo & Breaking Dawn. Since I'm a guy, my tendency to be weepy sometimes embarrasses me.
buddha1too is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, MeXoXO
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:22 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.