advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,322 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 19, 2022 at 09:47 AM
  #1
Hi everyone. In the US, today is celebrated as Father's Day to commemorate our fathers. Wishing all you who are fathers a special day of recognition of the role you play in your children's lives and or everyone you come in contact with.

I lost my dad 6 years ago. That was a wake up call for me. No more time to quibble over our differences. I had to stop playing the blame game. That was all over. Then through the tears and grief I started feeling gratitude for the tiny things they gave to me and I overlooked (and the big things too). I had to start seeing myself as a nurturer of the next generation rather than a child of my father.

To those who have fathers who you do not see eye to eye with, may you find some small way of recognizing the smallest things they contributed to your survival and upbringing.

Happy Fathers day to you.

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
unaluna, Yaowen
 
Thanks for this!
unaluna, Yaowen

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 19, 2022 at 02:43 PM
  #2
I wasn't really raised to appreciate things and I don't think my parents were either. So being extremely judgmental and dissatisfied became my default frame of mind.

As a teenager and going through all the brain changes that go with that, it was like my judgmental mind went into overdrive. It was pretty late in life that I developed an appreciative side to balance my critical side.

Put two very judgmental people together and you get some idea of how my relationship with my father was. I blamed my father for many things and even for my depression although a head injury following a bicycle accident might have been the cause of my chronic low mood.

It wasn't until I was educated in cognitive psychology that I was able to get some distance from myself and see the good points about my father. Sadly he had already passed by that time. Now I have a more realistic picture of my father. I often dream of him.
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
CANDC, nonightowl
 
Thanks for this!
CANDC, nonightowl
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,322 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 19, 2022 at 06:31 PM
  #3
@Yaowen I hear you. It sounds like you have had some form of closure.

I keep asking: why did I learn appreciation so late in life? I could have appreciated my grandmother and father more while they were alive.

One answer I get is to shower the next generation and the one after with appreciation. I am sad I only started waking up when dad was really sick but I did express what I could to him, not knowing for sure he could hear me.

I have to work not to judge myself. I did the best I could with all the things I was going through.

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Yaowen
 
Thanks for this!
Yaowen
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:28 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.