[SarahSweden]

My aunt died from kidney cancer yesterday, 76 years old. I just cry and I can´t understand that she´s really gone. I knew her kidney cancer wasn´t curable when she got her diagnosis in November last year, but still, I can´t understand that she´s now gone.

Doctors did what they could for her and for a short period of time chemo helped her but she then got sepsis and was staying in hospital three times during this spring and summer. She only got worse after the sepsis and the last few days she spent in hospice.

I saw her the last time last summer as she didn´t want any visits during Christmas when I was visiting my hometown. I go there only once every six months and now this summer, my aunt was feeling too bad to be able to see anyone.

During her stay in hospice I had already went back to where I now live and by that I didn´t see her anymore. I talked very briefly on the phone with her earlier this summer but that was for just a few minutes.

My mum did visit my aunt in hospice and she told me how my aunt was feeling, some of the things she said and so on but my aunt became worse very quickly and now she´s dead.

My aunt was my only relative besdes my mum who I talked to even if it was mostly on the phone. We didn´t have any deeper relationship but we could talk about everyday things and sometimes laugh a little about something that had happen.

I can´t understand she´s gone as I just see her, in my mind, as an active and talkative person, not as a sick and skinny person without any strength left. I feel so sorry for her that nothing could be done after she tried chemo. The cancer had already spread and it was aggressive so there was no more treatment.

I find it very hard to understand and I´m also very alone in my sorrow.

[CANDC]

@SarahSweden I am so sorry for the passing of your aunt. My heart reaches out to you even though I know there are no magic words that will bring comfort. What are you doing to take care of yourself to cope with this grief?

It is hard to believe my mom is gone almost 4 months. I always thought she would be there. There is an empty space where I used to relate to her. Somehow I try to do the things that need to be done each day and pay attention to people and how much they are suffering in the world. It does not change what happened but I realize I am not alone in sorrow. The people in Maui lost almost everything. My heart reaches out to them.

Keep on putting one foot in front of the other is what I am doing and paying attention to the needs of other as much as I am able. That is all I can do right now.

Hope you get the support to give you comfort in these rough times. @CANDC

[Nammu]

I’m sorry.

So sorry for the loss of your beloved aunt, @SarahSweden.

Your shock is understandable. And I understand how alone you feel in your sorrow. Believe me. I am still alone in my sorrow from my mother's passing 7 months ago now.

If it helps you to process your grief by posting here, then I encourage you to. It has helped me tremendously to post about my mother's passing here.

Wrapping you in light and healing energy as you grieve the loss of your beloved aunt.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks Candc.

I don´t do anything special to take care of myself, I cry, I try to do normal things I usually do like making dinner and sit on my balcony as long as the weather lets me.

I´m very sorry for your loss of your mother. It´s extremely hard to grasp that someone is gone and knowing you won´t talk to them ever again. I wasn´t present when my aunt passed and I didn´t see her when she was sick, I only talked to her on the phone. So for me, compared to some of my relatives who visited my aunt in hospice, I guess it´s harder to understand that one day she was there, now she isn´t.

Originally Posted by CANDC

@SarahSweden I am so sorry for the passing of your aunt. My heart reaches out to you even though I know there are no magic words that will bring comfort. What are you doing to take care of yourself to cope with this grief?

It is hard to believe my mom is gone almost 4 months. I always thought she would be there. There is an empty space where I used to relate to her. Somehow I try to do the things that need to be done each day and pay attention to people and how much they are suffering in the world. It does not change what happened but I realize I am not alone in sorrow. The people in Maui lost almost everything. My heart reaches out to them.

Keep on putting one foot in front of the other is what I am doing and paying attention to the needs of other as much as I am able. That is all I can do right now.

Hope you get the support to give you comfort in these rough times. @CANDC

[SarahSweden]

Thanks Motts.

I´m very sorry for your loss of your mother. I´m also sorry if you have to go through your grief alone.

Sometimes it helps to reach out, I´ve talked to people in helplines and some are good and some are lousy when it comes to support people. When people have experienced similar situations, sometimes it´s comfort in sharing those feelings I think.

Thanks for your support and kind words.

Originally Posted by Motts

So sorry for the loss of your beloved aunt, @SarahSweden.

Your shock is understandable. And I understand how alone you feel in your sorrow. Believe me. I am still alone in my sorrow from my mother's passing 7 months ago now.

If it helps you to process your grief by posting here, then I encourage you to. It has helped me tremendously to post about my mother's passing here.

Wrapping you in light and healing energy as you grieve the loss of your beloved aunt.

[Travelinglady]

I'm so sorry, SarahSweden.

[emily1890]

so sorry.

I don't know what you believe with regards to angels and afterlife, but I like to think that our passed loved ones are always looking down on us.

I hope that thought is comforting

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks Candc.

I´m very sorry for your loss of your mother. It´s extremely hard to grasp that someone is gone and knowing you won´t talk to them ever again. I wasn´t present when my aunt passed and I didn´t see her when she was sick, I only talked to her on the phone. So for me, compared to some of my relatives who visited my aunt in hospice, I guess it´s harder to understand that one day she was there, now she isn´t.

Thanks Sarah for your reassuring words. It must be difficult to not be there and see your aunt but you did the best you could under the circumstances. I always tend to second guess myself what I "should have done." That is usually very self critical and so I am trying not to go there. Nothing I can do or think will change the outcome of the person's passing.

It is a hard lesson for me to learn. @CANDC

[Soupe du jour]

I'm sorry for your loss. My late brother was in a similar situation, but with pancreatic cancer. I also relate to not having much family left to talk to. It is sad, but we must work to live the best we can in the moment and take advantage of the good things in the future. Hugs

[nonightowl]

I too have suffered many losses and have no one left to call family anymore. I've lost a good friend suddenly in 2016, as well as a few neighbors.