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Grand Member
Chat Leader
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 841
16 353 hugs
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Oct 30, 2008 at 04:28 PM
#1
Hello everyone,
I have not posted in this place before. Today is the 11 year anniversary of my grandmother's death. She was 65 when she passed away from cancer. She died 6 weeks to the day of her diagnosis. She was my strength, my family. I felt I belonged in the family when she was alive. Although she lived 9 hours from me, I felt very close to her. I couldn't wait to for my mom to call them or for them to call us. I couldn't wait to get on the phone and hear her voice. She was so soothing, calming, and relaxing. She just knew what to say. She died when I was 18 and now am 29. I never miss a day that I don't think about her. My graduation was the last graduation that she attended of us cousins. My mom got married before her passing and that was the last time she got to see a wedding. I look at her picture everyday and realize that she is gone forever. I want to be with her in the worst way. I was in the hospital once while she was alive for depression and she was so comforting. Now that she is gone I have lost that. I have been in and out of the hospital too many times to count. It's in the 20s anyway. I just want to be in her arms again. Smell her perfume and see her smile. I can't remember what her voice sounds like anymore, and I want to hear that again. Like I said before, it's been 11 years today that I lost my grandmother. Before she died I said to myself one day, "If I ever were to lose my grandma, I wouldn't want to be part of this family anymore." I didn't mean it and now she is gone. I don't feel like I am part of the family. I have 3 half brothers and 1 half sister. I feel as if I have no real relatives. That I am not a full blooded relative to anyone. I feel so alone all the time. I have lost a big someone in my life and now that my family is 11 years older they are soon to become the next in line. They are almost 90 a few of them. I just am scared. I don't want to lose anyone else. Anyway, thanks for listening. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 4,367
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Oct 30, 2008 at 05:25 PM
#2
((( jen ))) I hear you and I understand. I'm sorry you are hurting. The anniversaries can be so difficult. Please try to be extra good to yourself. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ "There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
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Oct 30, 2008 at 05:37 PM
#3
I am very sorry you are hurting hon.
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Oct 30, 2008 at 07:49 PM
#4
((((((((((((((((((((((( jen )))))))))))))))))))))))
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Magnate
Member Since Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 2,856
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Nov 01, 2008 at 08:11 AM
#5
((((((((((Jen)))))))))) I'm sorry for your loss.
__________________ "The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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