[Dawr]

I lost my grandmother Friday, 3 days after my 20th birthday, and so far I've had a really hard time coping. The only thing I've been able to do lately is sleep and cry. My grandmother had been sick for awhile, and finally died of pneumonia and cancer.

My family keeps coming over, (cousins and such) but I Don't want to be with them. I Don't want them to be here. Every one keeps wanting me to come and eat, and watch football but I don't want to. I just want to be alone. I feel like a child, because I, (apart from my mom) seem to be the only person who is affected. Then again, I was probably one of the only people in my family who ever spent extended periods with her. They want me to read at her service on Saturday, but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to hold it together long enough to.

My dad keeps pushing me along, like he wants me to just "get over it" Like it's some stupid hamster or something. I've been so depressed I can hardly function.

My grandmother meant more to me than anything. even before she passed, i spent long nights crying myself to sleep; worried that i would wake up the next day and she wouldn't be there. There wasn't any logical reason for this, because before a few months ago she had no real health concerns. Now that she's gone I don't even know what I'm going to do.
I Don't ever feel like I'll be happy again.

[ujaz]

It takes time to get over losing someone you love. Your family keep coming over because they care about you. Give yourself both permission & time to grieve. Think of the good times you had with her & be thankfull it wasn't drawn out & painfull for her. Better for her to go peacefully than linger in agony. The pain & anguish does go away & you'll be left with tender loving memories of her. Don't be hard on yourself, & don't feel rushed to be ''normal'' again. Hang in there & feel honoured to have knowen someone that was so speshal in your life. Love, life, luck & the blessings of spirit be upon you in this time of trial.

[onlymedid]

You take all the time you need. Everyone grieves in their own way and it sounds like you need to be alone and cry....that's ok!

Something that helped me with the passing of my mom was realizing that she was no longer in pain from the cancer. I felt selfish for wanting her here, but would rather have her gone with no pain than to see her here going through that intense pain again. IDK if that helps.

Healing your heart takes time. There is no set time and no set way to go about getting there. Just listen to your heart and mind...you will never "get over it".

[sabby]

(((((((((((( Dawr & Grandmother ))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother. It's so very hard to loose a loved one....and so very painful.

The other posters are so right.....take the time to grieve that you need. We all grieve in different ways, at different times and at different depths. Some like to keep busy and not talk about it. Others cry and cry and are bed bound for days. While others have private moments when alone to do their crying and grieving. Some grieve for a week, some grieve for a year, some grieve longer. And even some, tuck their grief away and never allow themselves to touch and feel it.

We will forever miss the loved ones who go before us. But we will have them forever in our hearts and mind. They will only want us to be happy and to remember them with love and peace......which will come in your time.


sabby

[EnglishMajor]

I am so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. I lost my own adored grandmother a few years ago, and it took a long time for the loss to sink in. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.

You were given a special gift to cherish and love. Keep her in your heart and remember the joy she brought to your life.