[Heartachehannah430]

This past October, my best friend died from a suicide. A couple of weeks before he died, he had told me that he was suicidal and made me swear not to tell anyone. Well stupid me, I kept his secret. And then he died. I feel so guilty and I cant get over his death. And now, my grandfather is dying also. I'm just in alot of pain.

[Sad In TX]

Oh my God. That's an awful lot of guilt to shoulder yourself with. Please don't blame yourself for his suicide. You didn't know he would go through with it!!!
I know words won't help when you feel this much despair, so let me just give you a hug via cyberspace.

Give yourself a break and try to forgive yourself for this guilt. You cannot take responsibility for his actions. I bet you really didn't know how to take his threat of killing himself and didn't really think he'd go through with it. So don't, PLEASE don't take responsibility for something of which you had no control over.

I'm very sorry about your grandfather. I really feel for you and will keep you in my prayers. Have you gone to a doctor to help you with these situations, or had therapy? I think you need to see someone pretty quick about these feelings. Get a friend to help you. My friend took me to the doctor yesterday when I could barely move due to my depression, but it's what I needed to take that step to get better. Please talk to someone, even call a hotline if you have to.
Let me know how you are doing, and remember that you didn't kill your friend. He killed himself. May peace be with you and your heart.

[Heartachehannah430]

Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed someone to encourage me during this very difficult time in my life. My therapist left the mental health center that I was going to so I'm in the process of finding someone new right now. Thanks so much again 4 your support!

[maryjanebrant]

Originally Posted by Heartachehannah430

This past October, my best friend died from a suicide. A couple of weeks before he died, he had told me that he was suicidal and made me swear not to tell anyone. Well stupid me, I kept his secret. And then he died. I feel so guilty and I cant get over his death. And now, my grandfather is dying also. I'm just in alot of pain.:sob::doh:

I'm sorry for your pain and your loss. I'm sorry about your granddad, too.

Suicide has its own set of long-lasting pain, I know because a loved family member of mine took his own life.

If you feel angry about your friend asking you not to tell anyone it would be understandable. You were between a rock and a hard place. I guess I would be mad, sad, than I would have to forgive him and grieve the loss.

You have to go on and live your life and hug your grandfather and tell him all the things that you love about him and ask him to watch out for you from heaven above and to give you strength each day.

The longer we live the more people we will see go, or we will go and they will loose us. That makes life very hard. That helps us make the most of every day.

Kind regards,
Mary Jane