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Old 06-24-2019, 01:13 AM   #1
Jenn2019
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Default I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I need to

I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I need to do at all. I have been lazy with everything and Iím a mess! Help!
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Old 06-24-2019, 11:55 AM   #2
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Get stuff out of your way. Whatever is hindering you? Of course, then i lack the motivation to get that carp out of the way...
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Old 06-27-2019, 10:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Have you tried conjuring up a mental image of how it would be with the things that need to be done, DONE? How would you feel when they get done? What would improve in your life? What would be rewarding about that new state of being? In physical terms, how would your reality look like when the necessary things get done?
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Old 07-20-2019, 07:43 AM   #4
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

I find making a list to be helpful. When you cross things off it feels amazing and shockingly gives you an idea of how much you didn't think you got done, but did.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:14 AM   #5
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Try this: Pick one task or project. Just one. Do a little bit of it every day, at about the same time of day. Take a break after you've worked on it for a while. If you feel like it, do something different later.

Tasks tend to be one of three types: Recurring (e.g. doing the dishes), short once-and-done (e.g. hanging up a picture, making an appointment over the phone) and large projects (e.g. writing a thesis, major home repairs). I've found it's best to have only one large project active at a time, but you can knock off small stuff whenever you feel like it. Recurring things just have to be made into habits.

And early is better than late. Willpower tends to fade over the course of the day.
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Old 07-27-2019, 04:43 AM   #6
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

I try and practice the 15 minutes rule. I pick something and set a timer and work on it for 15 minutes. After that I am free to take a break but its a short one and I go back to 15 minutes again. This is not perfect though there are plenty of times where 15 minutes is all I can do.
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Old 07-29-2019, 12:46 PM   #7
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

I have a tendency to do things obsessively then not doing anything. For me, balance is the key. I suggest that you do some things that make you feel good about yourself also while doing other things that may bore or stress you out. Thus, reward yourself for doing tasks that may not interest you or that you don't really feel like doing.
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Old 07-29-2019, 03:15 PM   #8
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Dear Jenn2019:

You are TOTALLY singing my song here. In my own daily life, this is probably the thing that frustrates me the most. Everyone who has replied to you has mentioned good, time-tested techniques. They are all good, and I know all of them, and yet..........

I know that when I look at a task to be done, it looks like a huge monolith. The only way I can ever get anything done is to slow down, and start breaking the task down into baby steps. The first is often the hardest. And just that process feels like pulling teeth, because it doesn't come naturally. And I'm impatient. I want it done NOW, so I can rest and go back to reading, or whatever. The fact that I'm going to have to do it step by step and completion is far away frustrates me.

Focussing in on a single task frustrates me, as I hear all the other undone tasks hooting at me from the sidelines, saying "what about me? what about me?" But you've got to focus on that task, or it'll never get done.

Once you start, and you take the first step, and then the 2nd, you may find yourself building momentum. Or not, but if you do, it helps.

Just try not to take on too much at once, and then, if and when you do get finished, check it off your list. Give yourself the credit for having accomplished it, and maybe a little reward, before you start the next. That really does feel good.

Now that I've given you all this advice, back to my own life. Hmmm, there are all these ugly spots on the floor.......
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Old 02-15-2020, 02:03 PM   #9
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Is this an issue with lack of motivation on what you need to do, like bathing, getting dressed, eating? If so you need to see a doctor. If it's motivation for stuff that you need to do like household chores then I would suggest you make a list of all the things you need to do but don't want to, delegate what you can and then try to figure out if there's anything you can add to the experience to make it more pleasurable, that way you will need very little motivation to do it.

Let me give you an example, I don't like cooking too much and I hate cleaning but when I'm in the kitchen I put on a good audio book to listen to and I really enjoy it.
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Old 08-28-2020, 03:39 PM   #10
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Good idea, putting on that e- book!
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Old 08-31-2020, 07:15 AM   #11
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

I have to get out of my retail job in order too get my diet back on track. By Diet, I do not mean weight loss, but a nutritional improvement diet. Avoiding the crap I am so used to snacking on because it is in easy reach, cheaper, and a quick stimulant to the brain.
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Old 12-05-2020, 10:21 AM   #12
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarrenPH View Post
Is this an issue with lack of motivation on what you need to do, like bathing, getting dressed, eating? If so you need to see a doctor. If it's motivation for stuff that you need to do like household chores then I would suggest you make a list of all the things you need to do but don't want to, delegate what you can and then try to figure out if there's anything you can add to the experience to make it more pleasurable, that way you will need very little motivation to do it.

Let me give you an example, I don't like cooking too much and I hate cleaning but when I'm in the kitchen I put on a good audio book to listen to and I really enjoy it.
For me it's the former, like I can't do what I absolutely need done. Only like absolute last minute and am getting burned out over that. And no, antidepressants did not help. SSRIs make me even less motivated. Wellbutrin did not give me motivation for long enough before someone else ****ed it up for me... I've processed through those earlier emotional issues by now that would cause that but there is still one big motivation problem I just realised, I REALLY need some help to come out of my head every morning and not feel like I DON'T EXIST to anyone, which is WHY I don't have the motivation in the first place. I had very bad emotional abuse/blocks in the way but those are gone now thankgod, but I still have this one major issue. Any idea on this one? Because the doctors couldn't help and all I REALLY want is someone to keep me in mind during the day for a few months. Like regularly check in with me if I EXIST, if I'm doing ANYTHING at all, and then I would be able to do that "anything", whatever needs done. I'm able to get dressed on better days but the rest uhhhhhhhh

Also I moved to my mom's place a couple of months ago because this got so bad that I was no longer able to feed myself, like I just didn't care to eat anymore when living on my own. At least that part is okay now. I mean the eating is okay now. Showering was never a problem though.

And yes I've been seeing therapists and I've been seeing an LCSW in a programme for over 2.5 years now and they couldn't be bothered with this issue enough, only lukewarm attempts.....But I was also busy processing the emotional abuse anyway. So that's out of the way enough by now... But I NEED to get this solved before I completely BURN OUT over this. It's crazy neverending bootcamp trying to pull myself out of this on my own and I have to admit it's impossible doing it alone on my own.

For more context I'm tryin to do online work remotely and I'm alone all day, my mother and her husband are off doing whatever other things (in the same apartment but they are really busy with their own things and my mother doesn't understand why I ask her to come in to my room and talk to me like every x minutes so I can stay outside my head and do things. So we never tried because she just plain doesn't understand even though she is well-meaning otherwise)

Thanks so much for reading. I'm totally totally at my wit's end with this. I had to really work hard at it to be able to even get over the negative emotions and decide that I make myself hope one last time and reach out for help one last time on this before I just cannot go on at all with life. Not a threat, I really just cannot see myself doing anything other than vegetating in bed all day!! (While in bed perhaps living off benefits, inheritance if my family dies etc. Or plain starving myself to death if I stop caring to eat again)
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Old 07-05-2021, 07:00 PM   #13
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Default Re: I canít seem to get the motivation to due what needs to be done and do what I nee

I have very low self esteem due to years of abuse with mental health staff. I donít deserve nice things or a clean house so I donít do anything but lay in bed.
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