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Default Feb 05, 2022 at 08:07 AM
  #1
how do I stop believing my negative talk because it's quite annoying.

the comments are coming from me, no one else

Possible trigger:


I always thought it was because people treat me like that (they do), and it's just validation

but I wish I could stop and not call myself names and take pleasure in it
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Default Feb 05, 2022 at 11:50 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
how do I stop believing my negative talk because it's quite annoying.

the comments are coming from me, no one else
I have a list of concrete things that fight the negative thought.

- "I can't do this" -- list of challenging things I did.
- "I am stupid" - list of examples where I was clever.
- " I am fat" - change it around to "yes, right now I am fat" but that doesn't mean I will be forever...
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Default Feb 05, 2022 at 08:17 PM
  #3
Challenging the negative thoughts can be very powerful. Especially when the negative thoughts originate from other people.
My first T suggested looking in a mirror and challenging negative thoughts that originated from an abusive relationship. I would be looking at myself telling the thoughts to shut up. I am capable, that's why people ask me for help, etc. I was essentially standing up to the part of me that believed my abuser was right and proving the negative belief to be untrue. The really hard part was apologizing to myself for believing the negative thoughts and forgiving myself for that mistake. Saying it out loud to the bathroom mirror may have seemed over the top at first, but it was empowering to take back mental control.
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Default Feb 05, 2022 at 08:44 PM
  #4
Aww I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing such negative thoughts. I agree with RollercoasterLover, challenging the negative thoughts can be really helpful.
Writing them down then using questions like: why do I think this? Is there another way? What would I say to a friend who is experiencing these thoughts? What is the evidence for these thoughts?

If you have a T, this is something that you could work on together! If not, the website CCI from Australia has some very useful worksheets, like thought diary’s and challenging negative thought info.
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 08:41 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by NatalieJastrow View Post
I have a list of concrete things that fight the negative thought.

- "I can't do this" -- list of challenging things I did.
- "I am stupid" - list of examples where I was clever.
- " I am fat" - change it around to "yes, right now I am fat" but that doesn't mean I will be forever...


these are good suggestions, for sure. will defenetly need to practice them, not used to that way of thinking
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 08:42 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Pinny View Post
Aww I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing such negative thoughts. I agree with RollercoasterLover, challenging the negative thoughts can be really helpful.
Writing them down then using questions like: why do I think this? Is there another way? What would I say to a friend who is experiencing these thoughts? What is the evidence for these thoughts?

If you have a T, this is something that you could work on together! If not, the website CCI from Australia has some very useful worksheets, like thought diary’s and challenging negative thought info.


do you have a link to that website?

might be worth checking out
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 09:33 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
these are good suggestions, for sure. will defenetly need to practice them, not used to that way of thinking
One book that really changed my way of thinking was "the power of now" in it, basically the theory is that your own mind is set up to be a monster and make you feel bad about yourself. I have often wondered if certain people have this more than others.

It is called the Ego.

In sum, all you have to do is recognize there is a Monster in your brain trying to bring you down and laugh it it and say... nice try Sir... but know what you doing.

It is about disassociating yourself from your dark passenger in your brain. You are not your ego. You don't have to act in conformity with that crazy monster in your brain, just accept it is there and it means nothing.
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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 08:46 PM
  #8
step 1 look into your eyes while looking at a mirror and say aloud I love you.

step 2 start positive self talk. Come up with affirmations that are opposite of the negative things you've been telling yourself.

step 3 add more affirmations that create the life you want.

step 4 keep it up be consistent. And look in the mirror it enhances the effect.

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Default Feb 21, 2022 at 07:02 AM
  #9
Think about the positives in your life.

Think about how you can take care of yourself- taking your meds, seeing the doctor, eating a balanced diet, exercising, etc

Stop allowing your past shape your present and future- think about what you can do now to make a positive difference.

Forgive your abusers somehow

Let go of emotional garbage

Doing small random acts of kindness to others
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Default Apr 10, 2022 at 10:14 PM
  #10
Raging vortex, sorry you struggle with that. Can you give yourself a better likeable name that makes you smile?

I often call myself negative names because of how my family treated me negatively in the past and called me names.

It's difficult to change bad habits and it won't happen overnight but it's definitely something to pay attention to if you really want to stop....

Have you heard the quote, "Be the change you want to be".

Just a suggestion: For every time you call yourself a bad name or having negative self talk, try watching a YouTube video on stopping negative self talk and it will give you a new perspective each and every time from a different person. Sometimes you might hear something helpful. Other times not so.

Another suggestion: mark it on your calendar for every time you caught yourself negative self talk. If you have a phone, there are also counter apps. Catching yourself, you might see a pattern. And realize when and why it's happening most frequently. Are you very stressed when it happens? Are you feeling helpless? Etc. Journal your thoughts.
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Default Jun 01, 2022 at 09:50 AM
  #11
Hi Vortex,

There is no benefit to self hatred. And don't allow anyone to treat you poorly again.

It's hard to love oneself and that makes it hard to receive compliments and people who try to support you. It just becomes self-sabotaging.

I hope each day that you give yourself a chance to love yourself and receive kind words of support from others.

Set boundaries from people who are harmful and negative but allow some good people to get to know you and that will help it easier for you to feel better about yourself.

I found some videos on the topic and thought of you.

One Simple Trick to Actually Love Yourself More | Julia Christina Counselling
One Simple Trick to Actually Love Yourself More - YouTube

5 Simple Things That Will Build Your Confidence | Julia Christina Counselling
5 Simple Things That Will Build Your Confidence - YouTube

How To Stop Negative Self-Talk | aka Being an A*Hole to Yourself | Julia Christina Counselling
How To STOP Negative Self-Talk | aka Being an A*Hole to Yourself - YouTube

How To Stop Your Inner Critic | Julia Christina Counselling
How To Stop Your Inner Critic - YouTube

How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking | Julia Christina Counselling
How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking - YouTube

Stop Feeling Bad About Yourself | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/Xyum4yjX9o0

How To Be the Most Likeable Person You Know | 3 Simple Tips | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/QUDCP8R2F8w

5 Ways to Become a Super Likeable Person | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/unbYHOcanM0

This is Why You Never Feel Good Enough | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/wVaZPO5yyvI

Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself Anxious & Depressed | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/E8jfC1bt1fg

5 Ways to Stop Negative Thoughts | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/XDeKzO2FGWs

How To Manage Your Emotions When They Feel Out of Control...for no reason | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/ct7O6joCTBg

5 Little Things that are Killing Your Happiness | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/Lm0sEqTzTwo

How To Stop Taking Things Personally | Don't Take it Personally
https://youtu.be/gIh_9b6r0K0

How To Not Take Things Personally | Don't Get Offended | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/H0QGI88yP7E

How To Manage Getting Triggered & Angry - 5 Simple Steps
https://youtu.be/IixdIUN0D1Y

How to stop letting things get to you | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/Y_DVLIslfX0

34 Subtle Ways You May Be Sabotaging Yourself
https://youtu.be/JwEY7wHmdwI
15 Ways You're Breaking Trust with Yourself | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/K90_uOatRwA

5 Powerful Ways to Get Over Feeling Angry | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/T6eQz7J7xSY

How To Handle Feeling Left Out | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/XrRstzVUBJc

7 Uncommon Ways To Boost Your Mood Naturally | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/e-rQ2gbl6-g

3 Powerful Ways To Get Over Feeling Angry, Frustrated, or Resentful | Julia Christina Counselling
https://youtu.be/2NNQ2196yos

Last edited by Sohappy; Jun 01, 2022 at 10:12 AM..
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Default Aug 20, 2022 at 02:55 PM
  #12
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Default Aug 20, 2022 at 02:57 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
Possible trigger:

You shouldn't tell yourself that even as a joke. The mind doesn't know the difference
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