[indigo1015]

Yesterday I was on a dating website, and I saw a guy's post, which basically stated that overweight/obese people are inferior to everyone else. After giving a lot of thought, I decided to write this. I don't know if anyone will agree with me or not, but it's something I have to get off my chest, regardless of what other people think.

Yes we are in an obesity epidemic, and yes personal responsibility to have healthy lifestyle habits is key. But it's also true that if you saw an obese person outside, you wouldn't know what they may have or haven't tried so far to lose weight. You're just seeing them at that specific moment. I know that the general trend is to shame people who are obese, but let me tell you from experience that this actually does the opposite of what mainstream society expects; it makes things even worse, in fact. I'm not saying we should ignore the situation, and I'm not saying we should encourage unhealthy lifestyle choices. What I am saying, however, is that support is way more effective than shaming. And healthy people need to do this as well-- I see lots of support groups for obese people that are composed of, well... obese people. But I don't see as much support for obese people that comes from healthy people. I would think that, if they were really as concerned as they claim to be about the obesity epidemic, healthier people would consider a new strategy if the current one they were using obviously did not work.

This is personal for me because I was obese last fall, and now I have lost a lot of weight and am much healthier, and I'm proud of this achievement. But I have to say, I still resent the way healthy people (some of whom may look healthy but don't have habits that are any better, although because they are thin nobody cares) used to act toward me. And how they act toward me now, and the marked difference. Yes doctors also do this, but in this thread the general public is my subject. People are people, whether they are obese, overweight, underweight or normal, and that is that. They all are deserving of respect. So that means not pre-judging when you don't even know them. People are not automatically "good" or "bad" based on their weight. No one can make someone change their habits, it's something that person has to do for themselves, but as I said before, how do you know that obese person you just saw isn't already doing that? Maybe they just came from an appointment with their nutritionist or were taking a walk or something.

Not all healthy people are like this-- my healthier friends were always very encouraging of me and my decision to take better care of myself. They liked me before and they like me know, and that's how it should be. But I get really sick of blogs, articles, commercials and ads in which fat people are being vilified. Exactly how does this help? It doesn't... it just exacerbates an already difficult problem. It doesn't benefit anyone, obese or otherwise. Again, I know some people who read this will disagree, and you are entitled to your opinions. But I am tired of this trend and I just needed to say so.

[glok]

Hello, ndigo1015. Congratulations for working to get healthier. People can be mean, especially online.

[Perna]

I try to be glad when people spout stuff like that; I know I don't respect them/their choices and don't want to know them and don't have to think very hard about it, can concentrate on other people I do want to get to know.

I sent a resume out once with my silly bird on it (smaller and "tastefully" done in the upper left corner :-)


and it was the best decision I ever made! If they did not have a sense of humor like mine, I did not want to work with them! I got one of the best jobs of my career.

[-jimi-]

I don't get the shaming. But that is like so many things, you have to fit right in or be discarded. It is of course an impossible task. No one can be normal at everything. But it is like you have to, or you will not do.

I think it's really time we take back what is ours, that no one "has" to be a certain way, and, that everyone is worthy. Seriously, scrap every frigging ideal. In China, people are having surgery to look like people in the Western world. What the HELL???

There are so many things I am supposed to hate about me, things that look "wrong" on me. I'm not allowed to like them, then I'm a double freak.

Be tall, be skinny, but not too skinny mind you, have the right kind of hair, if you have a nose that is not up to par, there are surgeons with little chisels for that. If you look too much like yourself, that is probably wrong too. Yup yup.

People who use health as an excuse to call people fat, it's just an excuse, they don't say anything to smokers and drinkers. Like they care if someone has a heart attack... nope. They just want people to present a certain look, like they have the right to decide how others are. Since when do they have that right?

The obesity epidemic is real, dangerous and worth analyzing. But those are numbers, those are NOT certain individuals, I don't know how people can get those mixed up. To fix the obesity on a statistical level you can't act on an individual level, you have to look at how food is produced and marketed, as a whole. The market sure knows how to make food the most addictive, I say lets deal with the market. If they put more fast acting poison in our foods we would sure react!

I could maybe stand to lose 20 pounds, but sure as hell it wouldn't be so I'm nicer to look at! That is not my job. If it is, I want to read my job description and find it saying Your job is to be skinny.

BAAHH!

[indigo1015]

Hey Perna, sorry wasn't sure who you were referring to -- try not to glad when who spouts stuff like that? Your opinion's your own, I'm just trying to understand what you mean.

Originally Posted by Perna

I try to be glad when people spout stuff like that; I know I don't respect them/their choices and don't want to know them and don't have to think very hard about it, can concentrate on other people I do want to get to know.

I sent a resume out once with my silly bird on it (smaller and "tastefully" done in the upper left corner :-)


and it was the best decision I ever made! If they did not have a sense of humor like mine, I did not want to work with them! I got one of the best jobs of my career.

[indigo1015]

Hey jimi, yeah I definitely get what you're saying. And I just think that people say that stuff because it's their opinion-- it's not really helpful nor is it intended to be. And I totally agree that although obesity is a serious health problem, people are individuals, not carbon copies of each other, and what works for one does not work for all.

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I don't get the shaming. But that is like so many things, you have to fit right in or be discarded. It is of course an impossible task. No one can be normal at everything. But it is like you have to, or you will not do.

I think it's really time we take back what is ours, that no one "has" to be a certain way, and, that everyone is worthy. Seriously, scrap every frigging ideal. In China, people are having surgery to look like people in the Western world. What the HELL???

There are so many things I am supposed to hate about me, things that look "wrong" on me. I'm not allowed to like them, then I'm a double freak.

Be tall, be skinny, but not too skinny mind you, have the right kind of hair, if you have a nose that is not up to par, there are surgeons with little chisels for that. If you look too much like yourself, that is probably wrong too. Yup yup.

People who use health as an excuse to call people fat, it's just an excuse, they don't say anything to smokers and drinkers. Like they care if someone has a heart attack... nope. They just want people to present a certain look, like they have the right to decide how others are. Since when do they have that right?

The obesity epidemic is real, dangerous and worth analyzing. But those are numbers, those are NOT certain individuals, I don't know how people can get those mixed up. To fix the obesity on a statistical level you can't act on an individual level, you have to look at how food is produced and marketed, as a whole. The market sure knows how to make food the most addictive, I say lets deal with the market. If they put more fast acting poison in our foods we would sure react!

I could maybe stand to lose 20 pounds, but sure as hell it wouldn't be so I'm nicer to look at! That is not my job. If it is, I want to read my job description and find it saying Your job is to be skinny.

BAAHH!