[Noonelistens]

I have been suffering from this for a long time now and it has been bothering me since childhood. Ever since my sister and I were little it was always about her and how smart she was ( she's 2 and a half years younger than I am) here is why since I was like 5 I noticed that she would catch on to things a lot quicker than me, and if it wasn't bad enough she got moved up a grade so she was only a grade behind me, That is still not the worst of it now as an adult I'm seeing it a lot more now and it ticks me off cause I'm noticing the way I'm getting treated compared to her she corrects me on everything and constantly tells me what I can and cant do like she's my mother and she does it where our mom cant see and when I confront mom about it she lets it go and when she is in the room she does nothing and says that "shes just worried about you" people think that my sister is my mom, Second I cant drive (I have an eye problem) so my whole life is based on her taking me places so if I have a dr appointment I'm screwed cause she doesn't want to take me or go anywhere that day. We moved a lot as kids and somehow she always got the bigger room I'd ask and my sister would say "you cant get everything you want". So when she's mad at mom I tell her she can't have everything she wants and our mother tells me to stop even though no shits were given when she had done the same to me and never got heck for it and she does it to me and its ok. The day came when she decided she wanted to go to college I was renting an ugly little house mother called me and told me she wants me to move back in with her cause she was lonely so I packed up and moved back home I moved myself into a nightmare my mother yelled at me for everything the dishes not being done the house not being clean she didn't have a job she sat on her computer for hours blocking the phones playing her games ( we lived on the farm we had dial-up) but my father is a very strict hot-tempered man he took her side even when she was wrong and it would always come down as a double attack on me ( it was pretty ridiculous kind of like how bullies group together to attack a single person) that man would give every swear you can think of all my hard work was never praised. We were going to my aunts to go and visit for a family dinner and my Uncle pulls my sister to the side and gives her 50 dollars cause she went to college I never got anything from him that day 4 months later he died of cancer.
I asked my mother why she got money from him and I didn't my moms answer was that I didn't go to college again her shadowing the ugly favoritism again making it sound like she again could do no wrong and that I was the black sheep.
After a while of this, I started getting depressed and id cry myself to sleep every night my anger with my sister boiled and bubbled as years went by my mother took me to see a psychologist and the dr said that I may have bipolar before I could even detest that notion I was put on drugs I zonked out afterwards a year of being a zombie.I hated it so I stopped the pills and became aware of my surroundings again and started again to play my sister's game back to her again. I was caught and taken back to a psychologist again and now was told that I have PTSD my mom said that can't be right and in my head, I was like hmm I wonder how I got that the fact that for her Christmas gift you'd get her cellphones and laptops id get books and movies. Now my dads moving to criticizing everything I do. I eat and he says you ate enough and then he offer my food that I brought to his friends and gives them the last of my stuff he drinks my soda and get mad when I drink his soda he got mad at me one day threw my iPod and smashed it to pieces against the wall I told him you owe me 300 dollars and he said " I owe you ****".
they sit there and wonder why I'm depressed and why I'm constantly angry that is why and I tell them how I feel they laugh and tell me that they are good to me and that I will never find better parents than them and I think to myself that's ******** I'm literally crying now as I type I don't know what else to do
All I know is that I'm getting sick of these mind games

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

It is very possible - and even likely - your problems stem from your family life.

Is there any way you can again get out on your own?

[Noonelistens]

I'm trying as of now one the last straws for me is when they said I owe them money and try to squeeze every dollar I have out of me I had nothing to give I only have one functional eye so finding work is hard they knew this and the other fact is that my mom would ask me to do something and then do something else first id do the thing she asked me to do first and shed ask me if I did the fist thing yet when im clearly doing the thing she told me to do right away

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I am glad you are doing what you can to get out. It does not sound like a healthy atmosphere at all. There are different resources you can use to help you if you need for the situation you are in - to remove yourself from it.

Take care ❤