[crystalrose]

My friend has a 18 month old son who refuses to eat more than about 5 spoonfuls of food. When made to eat more he then has a tantrum and my friend gives in to the tantrum and doesnt make him eat anymore. My friend says she feels like a bad mother if she persists with making him eat.
I feel that her son is too young to make the desicions regarding eating. Im worried that he will get malnourished and get very sick.
Is this neglect and should i report her to the child abuse authorities?

[MINIME]

I think u should have her get ahold of am occupational therapist who can see if he has food adversion issues also a nutritionist and she could get pedisure. U should never force feed a child it makes food a control issue. A baby that age has peaks and valleys of hunger it may be normal. Offer food and plenty of small snacks with high nutrition.

[lynn P.]

Great advice from the first post. I don't think your friend is abusive at all. I agree that you should never get stressed about food - only gently encourage and if he still refuses then let it go. Like the first post said hunger goes through peaks and valleys. He should be seeing his pediatrician regularly and they should be charting his weight and growth, usually comparing him to others his age. The less she stresses the better his attitude will be toward food. She should just offer 3 meals daily with nutritous snacks in between and gentle encouragement, never forcing.

I would start by cutting back on his drinks ie one drink just AFTER meal times.

No sweets or food inbetween meals just the three meals a day.

[AAAAA]

I too think your friend should contact the child's ped if concerned about this. Forcing a child to eat is NOT the answer. I had similiar issues with my oldest. Why would you think this is abuse or neglect? Keep in mind a child's stomach is the size of his little fists. What we think they need to eat and what they actually need to eat are two completely different things.

[pachyderm]

Mealtime at our house when I was young was often a battle zone; my mother trying to force us to eat, we trying to keep from her desire to control everything we did. Not good to make the dinner table into a war zone. Must be a better way to get children to eat at least a decent amount of food that is actually good for them (NOT liver).

Liver is nice !

No I dont believe in force feeding however if no snacks in between meals and fewer drink ie only at the table after food and one in the evening before bed then the child will eat the right amount of food for them, they wont starve to death because you are not giving them chrisps and things between meals.

[lynn P.]

Good point Tishie - my 7 yr old many times has gulp down to much liquid before she's done her dinner and then doesn't eat much. So now I wait till she half done or completely done before she gets her drink.

[AAAAA]

My children were and are "grazers". I didn't eliminate snacks, I just gave them healthy ones. Eventually they got junk, but as toddlers (and to this day for the younger three) fruits, yogurt, cheese, veggies and dip, or ants on a log are still their favorite snack foods. My kids fight over celery (the prefer the stalks to the cleaned cut up kind you can buy in the store, only no one wants to clean them).

In this day and age there are so many things out there to help parents make sure their children are getting the right foods it's just amazing. Juices that have everything in them. Gerber clever people that they are even make the toddlers favorite go to snack (cherrios cereal things) fortifide with just about everything they need in them... and the serving size like 12 O's. They taste horrible btw but toddlers love them.

In this country we have an odd perception of food I think. The serving sizes we think are normal are HUGE. Don't get me wrong I'm guilty of it myself. But as I said I was sure my oldest one was going to starve to death. I spoke to his doctor about it. He explained the fist thing and at his request I kept a log of what the child ate and as it turns out he was eating a lot more and a lot better than I thought he was.

The child's behavior can be the result of many things, it could be a medical issue, a behavioral issue or just a phase the child is going through.

My children too are grazers however none of them have eating problems I think at 18 months if any of them was not eating properly I really would stick to the three meals untill they had regulated their eating.

Mine love veg especialy brocolli (spelling) yuck its terrible but they love it ! Carrots raw are great for them too somtimes just a sandwich of homemade bread is good for tea rather than a great big hefty meal.

I am sure I am saying this wrong but there is a saying.....

Eat like a king for breakfast
A prince for lunch
And a pauper for dinner

Something like that anyways.

I cant say I follow it I eat like a king for all three meals as my body tells the world lmao.

[AAAAA]

You're just a better mom than me Tish . Rather than fight with them, well frankly it was mainly the oldest I went with the flow. I was so happy when he said he was "hungee"! After the doctor visit I was kind of an_al (imagine that) and I'd plan out ahead of time what I wanted him to eat for the day and put it in tuperware. When he was hungee I'd give him two choices, he'd pick at eat his few mouthfuls and be on his way, a couple hours later we'd repeat the process. Long before the 5 small meals a day became the rage.

And when you really look at portion sizes its amazing. Peanut butter for example my son would eat. It's an awesome food, portion size is like 2T. Now on a piece of bread it might be difficult to get them to eat it all, but on a cracker or piece of celery much more manageable and he'll eat two servings.

Your liquid theory has merit. I didn't have to worry the liquid thing, I had to fight to get him to drink after the formula. The milk there was the powdered stuff and he was allergic to apple juice.

Put your tongue away lol, or I will get hubby onto you .

[bebop]

my daughter didn't eat too much as a small child either. dr told me that she would eat when she gets hungry and boy did she ever! I would try not to sweat it too much. the child will eat when hungry I am sure. tell her to make sure he has vitamins though.