Help with my 18 month old

I have a nearly 18 month old little girl. She's wonderful and I love her so much. Problem is her speech is behind and she's going through those terrible twos! She was very smart from the beginning! Held her head up very early, learned to sit up very early, was crawling at 4 months, walking and running at 7 months... But her speech, it's behind...

She knows a few words. She knows how to say mama, dada, bye bye, night night, eat, juice, nose, yes and no. I may be missing a word or two but that's about the jest of her vocabulary. Also she NEVER talks. She talks jibberish all the time but she hardly ever uses the words she knows and when I try to get her to learn new words she just ignores me. When I call her name 1/2 the time she ignores me. She doesn't seem to want to learn to talk and doesn't seem to care when I say anything and I don't know how to handle this...

Her temper... She's funny and I know I spoil her when it comes to buying her things, but I don't just let her do what she wants. Any time I take something from her she flips out, throws herself on the ground screaming or stands there stomping her feet crying. She NEVER listens when I tell her no, she tells me no right back and continues to do what she's doing! I don't know what to do! I need help, I'm going nuts over here!

Awwwwwww its hard work at that age isnt it ! However the problems are easy to solve lol.....

My nan had a saying which was ......... Babys can only concentrate on one thing at a time be it physical or mental ....... Sounds like your little girl is going for the physical, I wouldnt be worried about her speach yet she is still very young.

As for the temper thats normal too. Let her scream just make sure she is not in danger then walk away ! Do NOT give into her or you WILL pay the price

Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Aww, Kris!

You sound like such a loving mummy

I'm not a mother but I've worked as an aupair twice and I worked in a nursery for 2 years so I have loads of experience with kids of this age. And hun, don't worry!!! She sounds absolutely normal. SOME kids are talking by 18 months, but there's also a lot who aren't! There are some kids who still aren't speaking by 3. She's still very young. The words will increase in the coming months as she begins to recognise what is what and remember it. The key is just to repeat the same things over to her. Don't think of a different way to say everything, stick to the same thing so she can get used to it.

You're right to not let her get everything her own way, and if she has something that you don't want her to have it's important for you to be the boss and for her to accept that. You're doing the right thing. She will eventually learn that when mummy says no, mummy means no. She'll learn that when she has a tantrum the answer will still be no, and eventually she'll have less tantrums. But even if that takes a while it's normal, babies of that age always have tantrums, it's just a phase she has to go through, she's still learning what she can and can't have and it'll take time for her to be able to understand and accept why she's sometimes not allowed what she wants. Just distract her, if possible, and if it's not possible ignore her. You don't have to walk away (though you can), you could simply sit down and play with her toys, or carry on what you're doing. She'll learn hun, I promise

Does she have many books? That's an excellent way of learning new words. You can point at the pictures and say things like "ooh, look at the dog. Do you know what the dog says? The dog says woof! Can you say woof?" etc. If you make it fun she will take an interest eventually.

But most importantly don't worry. She's doing fine. Not all babies speak at the same age and I think she's still quite young, I wouldn't say she's behind if she can say a few words and understand their meaning already.

Also DVDs like Barney can be good for vocab! If you let her watch the same ones, she will eventually remember the words. If you play videos with the same songs etc. What I mean is, it's good to show them programs more than once, because they will begin to remember what happens and be able to understand the words etc.

Hi Kris!

I so remember those worrisome times! My daughter walked kinda early (8 months) but didn't say anything more than MaMa before 32 months. Now, she's 13.5 and she can't stop!

Just keep reading alot to her, and have fun!

Hi (((((((((((kris)))))))))))))

I found that "no" didn't work very well at that age. Distraction worked GREAT, though. So, if one of my boys was going for the electrical outlet, I would pull out something more interesting (pots and pans to bang on, a book for us to read together, whatever) and say "hey, want to __________ ?". Or, I'd scoop them up and take them to the window to look for bunnies...you get the idea

It wasn't until they were a bit older that "no" came into play.

I've noticed that my T NEVER EVER EVER says "no" to me. If I ask for something that I can't have (like going through his desk lol) he will offer me something else in it's place, or ask a question about it ("going through my desk sounds fun, huh?"). I try not to use "no" with my boys too much either. That doesn't mean that they get everything they want AT ALL - I homeschool all three of them, and would lose my mind if life was a total free-for-all. It just means that I have to get creative

Just a thought

Teaching a child to use words instead of automatically giving them the things they want is really hard on the parent. It's tough on YOU during this time but you CAN do it if you are aware of opportunities when they present themselves.

I studied linguistics in college. Babies utter the sounds found in all the languages in the world before we teach them the ones in their own language by the process of elimination.

It's kind of like picking the correct key that unlocks the door.

If your little one wants juice, instead of handing her the biscuit when she points to the biscuit and grunts, just stand there unresponsive. Then you might say, "What is it you want? What's it called?" Stand your ground until she realizes that she is going to have to come up with the word before she will get it. Granted she will get angry and have a tantrum a time or two but eventually she will learn the word especially with a little prompting. Be refusing to respond except to the word, you will reinforce her usage. I knew a little boy once who was still grunting for things when he was four!! And what was sad was both his parents were teachers!!!

Hope this might help a little.

Maybe have the doctor take a look at her and see if something is wrong? She might just be slow in that area. Kids are usually slow in something. More then likely its nothing to worry about.

The key here is to stay calm. Even if you are flipping out, dont lether see. You can say things to her like "mommy understands you are angry right now, but i cant let you hit people with that toy" or something , thats just an example. Shes also getting to the age where depending on her maturity you can try a 1 min time out. If she gets up, explain to her again what she did and why she needs a time out (i usually say something like "mommy has to put you in time out, you need some time to calm down". keep it simple because of her age, but be consistant.

I would check out 123 magic, it works really well with jer. basically you tell them whats expected in a way they can understand, and then start counting. 1.......give some time, 2, give more time, 3 is taking away the toy or time out. You need to keep your voice authoritative, not mean, but not a sing song normal voice either. They need to be able to discern the difference. Also too make sure when shes not in trouble shes not hearing you angry if at all possible - you want her to be able to discern your normal voice from your not happy with her voice. I know jer wont listen to my mom at all. Shes always ranting and angry and he doesnt know her normal from her angry.

Have you had her hearing checked? My oldest had hearing problems that I was not aware of for quite some time which resulted in severe speach impairment.

Yeah, my youngest cousin couldn't really talk much at all until recently (he's a toddler) as it turns out he's almost deaf!

My husband and myself tested our daughters hearing a couple nights ago ourselves and I don't think it's her hearing that is the problem... I was holding her at the far end of the living room and he was in the kitchen and started calling her name. She didn't move. He than took a penny and very lightly tapped it on the counter, light enough so I could barely hear it. Sure enough she jerked her head around to look at where the noise was coming from.

I'm not sure what's going on with her but maybe she just can't hear certain tones or something, if that's even possible. I'm going to try and get her an appointment with her doctor soon and see what he thinks may be going on.

Thanks for all of your support, it means a lot to me

A thing as simple as an ear infection can affect speech.

My son was evaluated by a speech pathologist when he was four y/o. They said he was slow to speak but still within normal limits. Now he won't shut up. My son was also slow to potty train. He didn't get it until he was nearly 5 y/o. Again the doc said he was slow but still within normal limits.

My son had a few of those screaming fits and slamming his head on the floor. I just walked out of the room he was in and ignored his behavior and he finally learned that he was not getting what he wanted with that kind of behavior so he stopped.

I agree with you on the fit throwing thing Yoda, once they know that you don't respond to that type of behavior they'll try another.