Question?

When does a smack become abuse?
A woman here in Australia has been told she may face charges of assult
after she was found to have used a wooden spoon on her 9yr old.
Is this abuse?
I often would slap the back of kids hands does this make me an abuser
my personal opinion is no however
what do others think?

I swear I am losing it. I could have sworn that I responded to this thread but can't find the post anywhere!

I swatted my son with an open hand once in his life. It was to get his attention when he was not listening to me when he was three. It did have the intended outcome. He was so shocked that I then could speak to him.

My mother, on the other hand, used wooden spoons, wooden rulers, broom handles, anything she could grab that was handy. I only remember the horror. I have suppressed these memories for a very long time and didn't even put them in the category of abuse. I do remember the welts and the bruises. And I remember the terror. I think her own anger frightened her. But she was not going to have her child behaving as I did. I was bipolar. No one knew. No one witnessed all of this.

I always thought this was normal. It's only now, at age 56, after my parents are dead, that I am getting to the core of it.

I never believed that spanking was the answer. I truly believe that my experience had nothing to do with it as I was an education major in university and learned alternative methods of discipline.

My mom was the same way Vickie, it was worse when my brother happened to have his racetrack out, those were the WORST things to get hit with, they hurt, a LOT.

I'm not against spanking per se, but in my opinion there is never any need to grab something to strike the kids with. I did the slap on the hands when my children grabbed for something they shouldn't have (Japanese houses are NOT child friendly). When they did something that endangered their safety I gave them A SINGLE swat on the butt. With my hand, never ever in anger.

I think spanking has a very specific shelf life, between the ages of 3 and 4. If my 3 year old decides he's not going to run into the street because he's afraid of a spanking, I'm comfortable with that. But by 5 certainly you can explain consequences of their actions to them. They're old enough to remember that if they run out into the street, it's dangerous and they won't be allowed to play outside.

Nine is entirely too old to be hitting someone in my opinion.

Interestingly enough, D, FIL and I got into this debate when I was pregnant with Bug (she is 9, 10 next month). They even went onto our state's web site (MN) and looked up the laws. Here, open hand is fine. If you use a closed fist or "foreign" object (such as a wooden spoon), you can be charged with child abuse. I remember getting swatted on the rear with a wooden spoon! My mom still tells the story about me running out of the house yelling at the top of my lungs "please don't beat me anymore!" She was furious then, but cracks up about it now...

HAHAHAHAH, I remember the wooden spoon days too. My aunt and mom used wooden spoons and fly swats lol! Which actually never really felt much different then being spanked by their hands, but my dad did spank me with a belt before and that DID feel like A LOT more than a hand!

Anyway funny story, thanx for sharing!