[Sabrina]

I didn't just yell at him, I screamed at him. I am so tired. He is ADHD and chatters on incessantly. For the most part, I cope well with this and am used to it. But his back chatting and always having to have the last word become too much tonight and I lost it. No matter what I say, he challenges with something else and my patience just completely ran out. I screamed my head off. Needless to say, I shocked him into silence, which is something else for he is never silent. But I feel terrible now. Weary. Tired. And even hoarse, that is how loud I screamed.

Stupid of me to lose control like that. He is only 12 years old and can't be expected to understand my loss of patience. We have solid boundaries in place and he knows that cheekiness is not accepted. But it hasn't stopped him of late and I am just bone bone weary.

Just needed to vent. I am not a terrible Mom, am I?

[perpetuallysad]

Of course you aren't a terrible mom! You recognized that it wasn't an appropriate response and feel remorse. I don't think a bad mom would do either. My son is 8 and sounds a lot like yours (He never stops talking). I get really, really frustrated sometimes and I swear it seems like the more he talks the more I feel like someone's taken a cheese grater to my nerves! Obviously he's just being himself and I'm just being myself, sometimes the two aren't compatible. I always feel awful if I ask him to be quiet or fuss when he really didn't do anything "wrong". I don't know where I was going with this, but I just want you to know you are not a bad parent at all.

[Sabrina]

Perpetuallysad, I am glad that you understand. Your post meant a lot to me. Thank you.

[lynn P.]

I agree with Perpetuallysad, I also don't think you're a bad parent. You admit it was wrong and you feel remorse - it's not like you do thing all the time. My oldest is 12 and she's at the age where she thinks she knows everything and can debate like a lawyer. There are times when I feel frazzled for sure. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the our world and there's always new challenges. Don't be too hard on yourself Sabrina.

[Sabrina]

Thanks Lynn. I must learn to count. Losing patience is not really an option. Thanks for understanding!

[notz]

Oh Sabrina, you are not a bad mom...and you're not a saint either! Given the right set of circumstances anyone can go off now and again. After you both have a heart to heart talk with each other, maybe it'll work out for the best.

imho, He's a kid and they push the boundary lines. Since he's ADHD, he pushes a little harder. He's at that age when the hormones become active and will push harder and longer. Now might be a good time to reinforce those boundaries with an eye to the future.

Maybe doing some role playing would actually be fun! Y'all write a scenario where he misbehaves (let him make it up, act it out), brainstorm how it should go! Start small, make the circumstances harder, easier, difficult, hard again. Teach him to explore the things that are coming in his life so he'll have a positive way to deal with them when they do happen. Probably good for both of you. I feel like I'm not making sense. PM me if you like.

Based on your posts, and the many times I've read your expressions of love about your family, I know you're a loving and caring mother. Tell your boy you love him but he drives you bat **** crazy sometimes but that you love him no matter what. imho, of course.

Love to you dear lady.

[Sabrina]

Oh notz, thank you. You always make such wise sense and have the most awesome suggestions. I am definitely going to try the role playing. I think that is a wonderful suggestion that might just appeal to his active mind.
Thank you friend.

[bebop]

hon I honestly believe there is not a parent out there that hasn't done that at least one time. our kids push us to our very limits at times. don't kick yourself so hard. we are human!

this is just my opinion so please don't slam me on that.

[Yoda]

No you are not a bad mom.

So how did he react when you yelled at him?

[Sabrina]

Originally Posted by Yoda

No you are not a bad mom.

So how did he react when you yelled at him?

Well, he went totally silent. And stayed that way for about a half hour. When I apologized, he did say to me that I didn't have to scream. I explained that I wasn't feeling heard but that yes, it was not necessary. He accepted the apology and hopefully now, realizes that I am also only human.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by Sabrina

I didn't just yell at him, I screamed at him. I am so tired.

((( HUGS SABRINA )))

As long as the screamed was the exception and not some thing that happens all the time and you took the time apologize to him I believe he will forgive you "his mommy" and love you as he always has.

... but I know how you feel.