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kricket1992
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Default Apr 18, 2010 at 05:06 PM
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So I started home schooling about a year ago with this girl that my dad knows. She was losing her apartment and needed a place to live. So instead of paying rent at my house, she agreed to be my home school teacher. She was doing a magnificent job for the first few months I think. Then we got really involved. Like she was starting to act like my mom (my mom left when I was 15) and was teaching me to cook and clean right and all this other stuff and when I would get in trouble with her, she would ground me or take my phone away or something along those lines. Well then I stopped caring whether she took my phone or the computer away. I always found ways around it.
Anyway, like 4 months ago, she started spanking me... Mind you I'm 17, but I was 16 when she started doing it. She puts hot sauce in my mouth when I say things out of line, and depending on my behavior, she either spanks me or makes me sit on the couch for a "timeout".
I'm wondering if all of this is normal... Sometimes I am a pretty good kid/young adult. But I know that I do get out of line sometimes. I know that I throw things sometimes and mouth off a lot and go out when I'm not supposed to and come in past curfew. She also makes me go to my room at like 8 some nights because of my "behavior". Plus I never get my homework done on time. Well, not all the time anyway. So I know that I'm not the easiest to work with. But we have gotten a lot done with school and I have learned a lot through all of this. So should I let this keep happening? She's like the coolest 24 year old girl I've met. And I respect her. So I'm not sure what I should do.
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kricket1992
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Unhappy Apr 19, 2010 at 10:40 AM
  #2
I really need some help on this... Please people? All I need are a few different opinions.
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Question Apr 19, 2010 at 11:07 AM
  #3
What does your dad say about all this?
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Default Apr 19, 2010 at 11:16 AM
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I guess it sounds like a complicated situation. Is your father putting her in the role of your disciplinarian as well as your teacher?

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Default Apr 19, 2010 at 12:06 PM
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The techniques she is using on you are not age appropriate. This needs to be addressed with your father. The spankings and the hot sauce thing have to go.
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Default Apr 19, 2010 at 12:36 PM
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Her techniques are wrong in many ways. Have you shared what she does with your father?
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Default Apr 19, 2010 at 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by perpetuallysad View Post
I guess it sounds like a complicated situation. Is your father putting her in the role of your disciplinarian as well as your teacher?
Yeah. He was talking about it the other day. He doesn't know everything about how she disciplines me. But he likes her doing it because he isn't home during the day or night. He works from 2pm to 3am. And he thinks she is good supervision for me.
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Unhappy Apr 19, 2010 at 03:25 PM
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Her techniques are wrong in many ways. Have you shared what she does with your father?
I'm embarrassed to share it with my father because even as a younger child I was never spanked by my parents. And it's just an embarrassing thing for me to share.
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Default Apr 19, 2010 at 07:36 PM
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This is nothing to be embarrassed about, you are the one being done wrong here, and as a parent myself I would want to know if any one was doing some thing out of line with my child.

Please talk to your father tomorrow if not today and let him know what is going on and leave nothing out.... and as I always suggest "if it is hard for you to speak the words then write it out on a piece of paper and hand it to the person you want to read it" - I have done this many times my self.

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Red face Apr 19, 2010 at 07:48 PM
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This is nothing to be embarrassed about, you are the one being done wrong here, and as a parent myself I would want to know if any one was doing some thing out of line with my child.

Please talk to your father tomorrow if not today and let him know what is going on and leave nothing out.... and as I always suggest "if it is hard for you to speak the words then write it out on a piece of paper and hand it to the person you want to read it" - I have done this many times my self.

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Thanks lots. I will talk to him. I just feel like I'm being punished like normal. Like since I do step out of line. But it feels quite awkward when someone who is only a few years older than me, is taking me over her knee like that. So thanks for the advice:-)
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Default Apr 20, 2010 at 07:07 AM
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I have to agree, you shouldn't be treated like this. And nuckingfutz is right, its most definitely not age appropriate (especially considering that she's not much older than you). Really, talk to your dad.

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Default Apr 20, 2010 at 10:14 AM
  #12
I just have to agree that you need to talk to your Dad. I felt very uncomfortable reading what she is doing to you as it isn't right at all and seems very unnatural.

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Default Apr 20, 2010 at 04:06 PM
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Ya know, this has been bugging me and I have been really thinking about it. I'm not sure what state you live in, but a lot of states require that you are the parent of a child to homeschool them, and if not, there are pretty specific requirements to qualify to homeschool a child. Most require that you have a bachelor's degree and many require a teaching certificate as well.

Anyway, I suppose whether or not she's going about the homeschooling properly isn't the biggest part of this, but the entire situation is just bad, IMO.

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Default Apr 20, 2010 at 04:57 PM
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This is a very odd situation to let your home teacher live with you. Why can't you go to regular school? It's not appropriate for her to spank you or put hot sauce in your mouth - this is abuse. Some people are allergic to hot sauce and what if it got in your eyes? Is your father involved with this lady? Tell your father exactly how she's treating you. Call 911 if she touches you again and I don't think she's the right person to teach you. I think it would be better to go to school than be alone with an abusive person.

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Default Apr 20, 2010 at 06:36 PM
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You know, this a good point. Also was wondering about socialising as well. Being a teen also means school sports teams, proms, parties and the like. What are you doing as far as building friendships and going off to college? I am really wondering.
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Default Apr 22, 2010 at 12:25 AM
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I am thinking about college. I don't get out much. All of my friends haven't really talked to me since I started school with this girl. My dad is not involved with her. She just was a very good Tae Kwon Do student that needed a place to live during a rough point in her life. But she couldn't afford rent. So she said she would teach me instead of pay rent. She has a bachelors degree in psychology.... From Cascade College. I live in Oregon. She is going to University of Pheonix online for her graduate school.... She is getting her masters in psychology... And it did get in my eyes one time. It hurt really, really, really bad. Had to soak my face in the shower and wipe it down for 20 mins for it to get out and the pain to go away.
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Default Apr 22, 2010 at 03:13 AM
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My sister is 24 and her boyfriend is 40. He has two kids, one I believe is 18 now and the other is 17. She has been with him since she was 17 and lived with him and his kids since she was 18. They denied being involved with each other until just a year or two ago...They even slept in different rooms until then to keep it a secret (I always knew about it). I wouldn't be so quick to think they aren't involved. That is what I first thought when I read this.

The state of Oregon has banned corporal punishment in schools since 1989, so what this teacher is doing could be considered illegal. http://www.stophitting.com/index.php...ion#punishment
I'm not sure what the rules are for home schooling, I would assume that maybe the parent might have the authority to say if this is okay or not, but since your parents never spanked you, I do not believe that they would think this is okay and I think they would be very mad about it. I, myself, do not believe in spanking and it's one of the reasons that I am afraid to let someone else watch my son, since almost 50% of the U.S. still thinks it's a good thing to do. I would be sooooooo enraged if I found out this happened to my son, and I would definitely want to know about it. Please tell your father or some other authority, what this teacher is doing is very wrong, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

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Default Apr 22, 2010 at 03:44 AM
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You know, I didn't read your whole post until after I posted mine, I just had to say that a.s.a.p. for some reason & now I see you are the same ages as my sister and her boyfriend's daughter.

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"And even though you're fed up, Huh, ya got to keep your head up, Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier, ooooo child things are gonna get brighter" - Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac Shakur
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Arrow Apr 22, 2010 at 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by kricket1992 View Post
She has a bachelors degree in psychology....
Better reason to talk to your dad ASAP - this young lady has a degree in psychology and she still thinks what she is doing to you is right - NOT!!

BTW - have you talked to your dad yet?
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Default Apr 22, 2010 at 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by kricket1992 View Post
I am thinking about college. I don't get out much. All of my friends haven't really talked to me since I started school with this girl. My dad is not involved with her. She just was a very good Tae Kwon Do student that needed a place to live during a rough point in her life. But she couldn't afford rent. So she said she would teach me instead of pay rent. She has a bachelors degree in psychology.... From Cascade College. I live in Oregon. She is going to University of Pheonix online for her graduate school.... She is getting her masters in psychology... And it did get in my eyes one time. It hurt really, really, really bad. Had to soak my face in the shower and wipe it down for 20 mins for it to get out and the pain to go away.
It's dangerous getting it in your eyes. This is abuse and she needs needs to be reported. She's not a relative and it's not right she can treat you like this. I would call the police and tell your dad. He can't possibly support her actions. You haven't mentioned why you can't go to regular school. How old is she? This is very wrong so please don't let her get away with it.

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