[salukigirl]

Since the other thread had such good responses, I thought this might be interesting. I feel that I have gained a lot of knowledge and that having to balance my budget in college and pay for everything myself has made me more aware of financial issues maybe more than kids who have their college paid for. So I might help my kids out but I will absolutely not pay for my kids to go to college. I had to pay for it as well as my sister and brother and aunts and uncles. Do you feel that you are responsible to pay for your kids college?

I ask because I feel that parents take this responsibility on themselves now and it put way more financial strain on a family. What do you think?

I answered "yes", but I don't know that we'll be able to do it all. We saved through a prepaid tuition program in Texas which covers tuition costs. It doesn't pay for books or dorms though, so they'll have to find financial aid or commute. Unfortunately, Texas closed the program before our youngest son could be put on it so we have no idea how we'll pay for his college at this point.

I do take it as one of my parenting responsibilities, but I know my kids will probably have to take on debt to get through school.

My parents managed to get 3 daughters through school and only I had to take out a loan for one semester. I am forever grateful for their committment to my future. I wish I could do the same for all of my children, but I don't think it will be a possibility.

Coming from a very poor family (about 11k income a year from my dad's disability cheque), it has been tough. He will not be able to pay for any of my university, so I have to rely on OSAP (school loans), scholarships, and bursaries. I am not able to work at the moment due to my mental health.

Point is, I don't want my kid to go through that. I'm a firm believer of lowering tuition prices anyhow, free post-secondary education would be ideal. But if the government can't do that, I'd like to be able to do that for my child.

[perpetuallysad]

That's a hard question. Because I can see your point of view. On the other hand, the only way I went to college was on student loans, scholarships and grants. I have a huge student loan debt and I worked full time for a good portion of my schooling, though I did have a baby mid sophomore year (I continued and graduated) and after that couldn't work much. I have never lived a life of anything of privilege and always knew need as a child, so I wasn't extravagant with anything I did in college. I was always careful and many years lived on less than $10K a year (and that was with taking care of my son and paying tuition, rent, food, etc.). I guess what I am saying is that if I can spare my son the difficulties I had, I will. I don't think starting your adult life with student loan debt is the best way for things to go. And considering how fricken expensive even a state school is now, I shudder to think how expensive it will be when he's ready in about 10 years. So yes, I will pay for college (ok, my husband will, as I am a loser who doesn't work). My son will work part-time or get scholarships as well, but I will definitely cover tuition.

[thine_self_untrue]

Not a parent. Just a junior in highschool whose parents can not and will not pay for me to go to college.
I so wish I had thier support, they don't seem to think it's particularly important. They have been "grades are important" or "do good in school" parents (yes, I just made it a type) and I've always wished they had pushed me a little harder and made more of a big deal out of it. Not that I wouldn't have rebelled (whole new story) but I think in the long run, it would have helped me out.
It would be very important for me to pay or at least help fund my kids college.

[salukigirl]

I guess in my experience I feel that kids who get their school paid for are...to put it bluntly...kind of spoiled and selfish. My boyfriend pretty much had his entire school paid for and he has absolutely no idea how to budget at all. He has no financial sense what so ever and, sometimes, its like teaching a 5 yr old about money. It gets a little ridiculous.

And I also feel like those kids just aren't very appreciative. Most of the kids I've met who get their school paid for also have a false sense of entitlement. Like they would disown their parents if they "cut them off". That just makes me so freakin' mad!

IMO, I feel like parents paying for their kids school makes them completely unaware of finances, what it's like to be in debt and lets them walk through the first 20-25 years of their life without really having DONE anything. At least I can say I worked for what I have y'know? Everything in my house and in my life is MINE. I paid for my school and I made the absolute most out of it. I feel like I'm much more careful with my education and money than the people I know who don't pay for it.

[Amazonmom]

While I don't believe a parent is responsible for paying for a child's education in its entirety, I do believe a parent should assist at a level that doesn't put them in financial jeopardy. It is entirely possible to raise financially educated non spoiled people while paying for their education.

My dad's dream for me was for me to be able to dedicate myself to my studies without having to worry about working to pay for them. I won't apologize for that. My hubby's mom couldn't afford to give him money but did let him move back into her house so he could save on rent.

I was taught how to do my own taxes, do a budget, manage credit, way before I ever left home. I never felt entitled to my parents' money. Maybe the fact that my dad was an accountant helped in that regard. I remember being a small child sitting on my father's lap while he showed me how he balanced his checkbook.

[amante]

As a parent to 3 young boys, I belief that when you bring children into the world you do have a certain responsibility in providing for them to the best that you can, you feed and cloth them all their lives and I do think that you can help them without having to throw yourself into heavy debt to do it with paying for college. It helps to start saving when they are young. I would tell them that it's their duty too to contribute to the fees and prices to go to college.

[ruffy]

I personally found that as I paid for my own college education that I did much better in school. Went from average student to 4.0 GPA. It was my money I was wasting if I didnt and my future. I think its good that kids try and work themselves through school and mom/dad or both can give an allowance to supplement the child, as working a full time or part time job and attending school is very difficult. I paid for all of my college as I went along, and it took me twice as long to get through, but I'm a better person for it. I did not owe any money when I finished. I also earned a scholarship which helped.

Originally Posted by ruffy

I personally found that as I paid for my own college education that I did much better in school. Went from average student to 4.0 GPA. It was my money I was wasting if I didnt and my future. I think its good that kids try and work themselves through school and mom/dad or both can give an allowance to supplement the child, as working a full time or part time job and attending school is very difficult. I paid for all of my college as I went along, and it took me twice as long to get through, but I'm a better person for it. I did not owe any money when I finished. I also earned a scholarship which helped.

That isn't necessarily the lesson that every kid needs though. My parents paid for my education and I always maintained a 4.0 GPA, earned scholarships for academics, and graduated with honors. I knew not to waste my parents' money (would never have dreamed of it actually). I was always grateful for my parents' committment to my education; I was able to graduate in 4 years and move on into my career. I hate to think of the struggle it would have been, how long my career would have been delayed, etc. without my parents' help.

But the reality in this day and age is that the cost of a higher education is starting to price kids out of school. Somehow there has to be a way to slow down the inflating cost of a higher education. It's going to backfire eventually.

[Fidel]

wow, the result isn't what I expected...

[perpetuallysad]

Did you think that more people would say they wouldn't help with their child's education?

And farmergirl, you are so right about kids being priced out of college. Its horrible. I graduated in 2003 and tuition is about 3 times what it was then. That is insane!!!

[salukigirl]

I expected more No answers for sure. My parents got a savings bond for all 3 of us which paid for a year of community college but that was it. And I will have at least 60,000 in loans when I'm done. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but out of all the kids I have met in college I have found that the majority of the time, kids who don't have to pay for school themselves have an undeserved sense of entitlement. Just my opinion, maybe its different from school to school but it seems like every generation gets a little more rude and selfish. I feel like everyday I meet and run into people everyday who are so not self-aware and just don't care about anyone but themselves. And it seems like a lot of kids my age just got everything handed to them growing up and never had to really work for things. I just think paying for your own college is a good life lesson and might make you work harder for it and be more proud of what you have accomplished. Once again, just my opinion.

[shezbut]

My parents didn't pay a dime for my education. And that's okay with me.

I got grants (and student loans in my last year) to help me through. I also worked P/T to help make ends meet. I don't hold any resentment towards my parents for not financially contributing. College is expensive and they just couldn't afford to help. That's a fact of life.

I have set a couple hundred aside (in bonds) for both of my girls, and hope to continue that. But I'm also on a very limited fixed income. Hopefully, my girls will understand that when they're older and ready for continued education.

Imo, a lot of youth who don't pay for their education themselves don't really take it seriously. They end up squeaking through college ~ not really giving a hoot. Maybe that's age too?? I was 25 y.o. when I started college.

Jmi...

[kelllie]

I had no debt coming out of college with the help of scholarships and I want to make sure that my children are the same way. I am so much more financially stable compared to most people my age because of it and I am so thankful. We have been able to save up tons of money as a safety net and invest in a nicer house instead of paying off debt. We are also very careful about spending money. I think how you treat money and school are more based on your personality than financial situationl.

[salukigirl]

Thanks for your post. Extremely good point!

[englishteacher]

My daughter graduates high school this year and I've felt extremely guilty for not being able to help her financially with college next year. I certainly would continue to house and feed her while she goes to school, but I don't think that's what she'll choose. She knows how much we are struggling financially and wants to ease that burden by moving out so we can get a smaller place. I have no idea what I did to deserve such a loving child.

Combined, my hubby and I owe more than $120,000 in student loans, which are in default because we don't have jobs that would allow us to pay the exhorbent amount that they want. I don't blame my parents for that debt. It was completely our own stupidity. Hubby's parents offered to pay tuition and books, but he wouldn't accept because there were always too many strings attached. My parents just didn't have the money to help much, and quite frankly were of the mindset that I should take care of myself.

I do NOT want my daughter to take student loans at all. I think they are poison. Her current plan is to move in with her grandparents who live near a community college. They have saved some money for her school, but due to the market, it isn't much anymore. They also can offer her a part time job and are giving her a car for graduation. I know that they will also cover tuition and books if need be. I've not always gotten along with my in-laws, but in this case, all I can say is ....Thanks so much for helping her when we can't. They also paid for her braces a few years ago.

On another thought - colleges are too expensive now and a bachelor's degree is no guarantee of a job. Unfortunately, that leads many to graduate programs...more expense and still no guarantee of a job. Despite working for one, I don't like what colleges are becoming. I hate that advisors are continuing to encourage people to get more and more education that they can't actually use. It's a big money pit.

[sunrise]

My older daughter is in college now. She pays for part of it and we are paying for part of it. She worked hard to get quite a bit of scholarship money, about $32,000 over 4 years. She also has a student loan for 4 years. We pay for the rest.

Unfortunately, my younger daughter will not be able to receive as much support from us when she starts college in 2 years, as we have fallen on harder financial times. My older daughter will need to take out a larger loan next year too.

Right before I went to college, there was a big rift between me and my parents, and they decided not to give me any money at all for college even though they had set some savings aside for that. (They didn't approve of a guy I was dating and would only help me out at college if I stopped seeing him.) I had a free-ride for tution due to scholarships, but I still needed room and board. It was not easy being 17, moving away from home, and suddenly having scarcely a penny. My parents tried to use the threat of not paying for any of my schooling as a way to control me and I said too bad. I got jobs and paid for all my living expenses myself. Thank goodness for my scholarships, though. If I hadn't had those, I wouldn't have made it.

One year of college for me and I am left with 30000+ dollars, and compounding interest of TWO DOLLARS A DAY.

There is no way I can pay as I am unable to currently work a job that would allow me to eat AND pay the 400 a month they want for loan payments.

[Moreta]

Since I'm about 75% sure that I'm not having kids, I decided not to vote, but I'd thought I'd add my 2 cents anyways.

If I did have a kid, I'm sure someone on my husbands side of the family would set up a trust fund for them, because that's how their family shows affection.

Personally, I grew up poor, but not quite poor enough to qualify for Federal Aid for College. My parents hadn't saved up any money up for college for me, so I had to rely on loans or scholarships. I went with the scholarship, but since it only covered tuition, they gave me the choice of a car or money for room and board, I went with the car. Worked out well.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but out of all the kids I have met in college I have found that the majority of the time, kids who don't have to pay for school themselves have an undeserved sense of entitlement.

Seems a bit vague; entitlement to what? Parents who want them to get a good education and are able/willing to pay for it? I don't think there's any "responsible" sense to it; higher education (the rest is "free" thanks to taxes) is not a right; I have trouble with all the remedial courses in college now. I think we have a few too many lawyers already, thanks :-) But I don't think paying or not is what makes the difference. My parents paid for my college degree in 1972 and I paid for my degree in 2007; the difference was "me" not who paid.

I think the whole thing depends on the family, the individual, the relationship between the individual and what they want to study and the parents, etc. How can one tell whether someone feels entitled just because their schooling is paid for? They may well have come to school feeling entitled and it might have nothing to do with school?

[AShadow721]

My parent's NEVER thought about saving money for my college....I don't know if my mom will help pay off the part of my financial aid I have to pay back....I for sure know dead beat father would never pay a d*&^ cent for anything for me. Because of this I wondered why anyone would pay for their children's college. It angers me. It angers me that other people love their kids more or think more highly of them, they believe their children will go to college. I suppose my parents never thought I'd be that much of anything.... My p.o.s. father never went to college. My mother only went when I was a teenager....I suppose I'll save money for my son, so he doesn't feel like I do now...but it'll be for him to use to get his own place or car or for college, whatever it is he plans to do.

[venusss]

Well, since I live in country where education is free (and no, it does not mean socialism), this was not issue for me. My mom paid for my expenses (dorm and food and books... which was not that much, because I would eat at home as well and the dorms are state-sponsored, therefore quite cheap. I lived at the cheapest room of the cheapest dorm too), because she said she rather have me gaining relevant experience and studying than working in McDonalds. I actually poured a lot over books

I believe parents should help their children with college, even later in life, when they need it (of course there are exceptions, when the children get into trouble through their very own fault).

[Umbral_Seraph]

I am having to pay college myself (I'm glad there are grants I get), but I get to live at home, so my day-to-day expenses are pretty low. My family drives nuts, but I feel this has been the best option for me.

[_embrace]

I am from a financially unstable family that could not afford to pay for my education (though I know that if they could have, they would have.) I've relied on student loans, scholarships and grants to get through. Even with all of that, I've had to work two part time jobs per year in order to stay comfortable. I could have gotten by without working, but it would have been pretty tight. When I graduate, I will probably have about $60,000-70,000 in debt, owed to the government.

If I were a parent, I would probably have my children pay for their education themselves (through scholarships, loans, and grants) and then help them pay off whatever they owe when they're finished, to the best of my ability. I think that if they at least *think* that they're going to have to pay back their own debts, they will likely take the incentive to be more responsible with their budgeting. If it were a choice between me paying for it or my children not going to university however (ie: if they didn't qualify for aid/loans), and I knew they wanted to go, I would do my best to pay for it.