[Radien]

I don't really know where to post this, but i thought this would be a good place. I am not a parent, but I am having issues with them. I took a large part in raising my sister(13) and sometimes feel like she is not only my sister but also my child. She is having major self-esteem issues and has even asked to see a Therapist, but my parents are saying no! They truly do love us and have always cared for us so that is not an issue. My father studied psychology and doesn't believe it will do her any good. He says that sending her to a T is like him giving his parenting rights over to someone else, who doesn't even care about his children. He also says that T's only say what is normal, like having sex at 17(his example not mine), and will ruin her morals. My mom thinks everything will work out when it won't. She has been like this since she was 11 and next year she is entering high school which i fear will make it worse. At 16 she can start dating and i know she will throw herself at guys just to be told she is pretty. This is not what i want for her. I want her to see she is beautiful, but all she sees is what she used to look like (she hadn't fully grown into her body until recently). I am at a loss of what to do. I have already given up on trying to get a T for myself, but my sister means more to me than anything. How do i move forward with this situation?

[salukigirl]

I'm at a loss also. If your father absolutely refuse to let her go, and she needs to consent for being underage, then maybe try a site like this one? If she can't get private counseling sessions but she openly says she needs someone to open up to, maybe talk to the school? That's what school counselors are there for. And if she doesn't feel comfortable with that then maybe joining a psych. help site like this one for support would help her?

[amante]

I'm sorry your parents are not supporting your sister more. The best you can do is be there for your sister and try to raise her self esteem the best you can. look online for tips, post here for support and encouragment for her.

[Rhapsody]

I wish your parents would consent to letting your sister see a T - but since they will not maybe talk to your sister about her seeing the school counselor for some much needed advice and support... your parents do not have to know.

[Gabi925]

I think that you parents are RIGHT!
The girl has school counselors.

My girl had been helped for two years by great school counselors - with whom I talked too.
But after the last year we were sent by our physician to try a (free)Family Therapist. All has become a nightmare! The teenager (14) went so bad... as I would have never imagined was possible. Maybe some people are lucky to get a "PROFESSIONAL" professional one! In my case it has had such a bad impact that I can't function anymore and the family is almost broken! I can't even talk about what has happened yet!

I wish I could recover and SUE her - no matter I hate trials!

[NuckingFutz]

I think starting with the school counselor is a good idea. Maybe go with her the first time to see if this is good fit.

[justasmallpiece]

Your sister is very lucky to have you! I agree about a school counsellor; that may be the best solution for her. It is a good start. I am sorry that she is struggling with self esteem issues. It is very common unfortunately.

Bless you...

[NuckingFutz]

It sounds like you two are very close. She is lucky to have you as a sister. A lot of what you said was mirrored in my own family. My big sister is still my hero. My adoptive parents did not know how to provide the emotional support we so desperately needed. We were 3 biological sisters adopted into the same family. Me and my hero are both in counseling and the other sister has no contact with anyone in the family and I do not blame her. There is a really good section on self esteem at the bottom of these forums as well. Keep posting.

[Radien]

Thank You for all your help.The issue with a school counselor is that presently she is in the eight grade of a school that does not offer any sort of counseling. She is attending the high school i am at next year in which their is one social worker/guidance counselor. I have spoken to her for myself and have found her very unhelpful and uncomfortable to speak to. I have been trying to be more open with my parents about myself and they are trying to understand more, but my father still disagrees with seeing a T for the same reasons as Gabi925 which i am starting to understand better. I guess it depends on if the T is good and by the time you figure that out it may be too late. My only approach at the moment is to try and be here for her to speak to. If anyone knows of anything else, please, I would love to know.