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Member
Member Since Jul 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 42
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Jul 21, 2010 at 07:58 PM
#1
Hey there. I'm posting because I recently found out my fiancee is pregnant with our first child. We've been together for four years now and we've been through a lot of tough things so I'm sure that as a unit we're fine and we're both emotionally able to handle a child, we both have experience as essentially surrogate parents. The reason I'm posting is because I'm worried about passing on some of our psychological disorders onto our child. I know this seems like a stupid thing to worry about because you can not control it but I don't want to imagine my child going through the same things I've gone through or, to a lesser extent, the things my fiancee has gone through.
Is it normal to worry about things like this? How can I try to stop this behavior? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,814
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Jul 21, 2010 at 08:06 PM
#2
It's normal to think about things like this as we know that our children can inherit certain tendencies & even certain mental illnesses such as Bipolar.
My feeling is that it's quite responsible to think about things like this. Things like environment are dependent on the things that happen around the child....but being aware of that & trying to be the best parent to avoid & to help the child get through rough or trauma issues that may come in their life points to the fact that you are good & caring parents. I would say Not to obcess over these things, but in moderation & for the good outcome of the child...it's good parenting. Don't judge yourself in a hard way about things like this....it will all work out well & congratulations of your first child. __________________  Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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Jul 23, 2010 at 10:12 AM
#3
There isn't any way to imagine what a child is going to go through because they not only cannot have the same experiences as we had but they can't have them 20 years later! We will see and identify with some of their behaviors, mistakes, fears and pains but they are truly 100% theirs; their experiential world is not ours. Everyone gets bullied, tries to be in the "in" crowd and/or doesn't think they fit, are teenagers with a lot of angst of one kind or another; growing up is a messy, painful business. One cannot (and do not want to!) protect a child from it or guide them in the way we think they should go; they have to go their way because our way is not theirs, they literally can't go where we would "like" it doesn't look the same to them.
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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