Being a parent can really suck!

AAAAA · Aug 28, 2010 at 07:48 PM

I sign the papers Monday to allow my youngest child to join the Marines. The decision has never been mine, if I refused he'd wait until his 18th birthday and do it himself.

I not only love my children more that I could ever verbalize, but I truly enjoy their company as well. I've held my family so tightly, and it breaks my heart that this one will leave us in that way. He's following in the footsteps of his father, uncles, and grandfathers. He will be the seventh generation to serve.

This is truly a bitter-sweet pill to swallow. I am humbled by him and so proud of him. I am trying so hard to be supportived but I buckled a minute. He said he was scared I replied "then don't do it." I know this wasn't the answer he wanted or needed. The weakness is mine, not his.

Please pray for strength and acceptance for me. His fate is in God's hands as it has always been. Monday I admit out loud for the first time my baby is a man.

lynn P. · Aug 28, 2010 at 08:06 PM

(((AAAAA)))

- My kids are still young so I don't know exactly how you're feeling but I understand the love you feel. You're a great Mom and they're lucky to have you. I pray God will keep him safe.

notz · Aug 29, 2010 at 10:57 AM

I am touched by your post, AAAAA. I hope your young man knows what a loving Mom he has. My thoughts will be with you and him.

PleaseHelp · Aug 29, 2010 at 11:32 AM

(((AAAA)) You are a strong woman and he is a lucky young man. My thoughts are with you and your family. My fiance is a former Marine. OOOOO RAAAAAH

AAAAA · Aug 29, 2010 at 01:34 PM

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. We have a good relationship with all of our children. This one is literally the baby (younger than his twin by mere seconds). He showed great maturity making this decision. I asked him to listen to all the recruiters (military and college alike) and give each honest thought. He did so, if only to humor me.

He is able to state the pros and cons for each path he may take in life, but in the end he stuck with his decision to join the Marines. He listened to my brother relate some of the horrors he saw while in the service (was in the original Kuwait, Somalia, and Libia) and of injuries. My brother spoke from a place of reality, not to discourage him. His father and I told him how difficult military life was on the family. So he's joining with his eyes wide open.

I understand that this is a calling for him, he's not running away from us, but to his future. I don't know how our parents were able to deal with this and be so supportive.

AAAAA · Aug 30, 2010 at 01:33 PM

Well I signed the papers today.

I also learned that my son had put his notice in at work, he thought it would be unfair of him to make the demands for time off he will need to satisfy his delayed enlistment. The GM was actually crying. She asked if he would be willing to work two weekends a month, which would give him one weekend to do his training, and one weekend off.

We spoke for a long time. All of my children have worked for her, and she complimented hubby and I on our parenting skills and relationship with each of the children. So I left there feeling better than I expected.

AAAAA · Sep 01, 2010 at 09:37 PM

Our main issue with allowing our son to join the Marines delayed enlistment was that he would not have a guaranteed job. We felt that it was our job as his parents to make sure that he was making the best decision possible... as long as he was a minor and we had a say in the matter. After many discussions, we came to the conclusion, that this was his decision and we had to support him. So if he was willing to throw the dice and hope for the best we would suck it up and sign.

On Monday I gave my permission. Today he was sworn in. He left last night with the recruiter, we drove three hours to see him take his oath (sadly you would not believe the people there that did not have anyone there to support them even though the majority of them left immediately for boot camp!) We saw his recruiter as we were checking in, he told us that as long as he passed the physicals he not only had a job he wanted, he had THEE job. He managed to land MP in the Marines! His DREAM job!!!

About an hour later, we saw our son transitioning between the different hoops that he had to jump through today. We asked how it was going, he was really bummed, his vision prevented him from being eligiable for his second pick. I blurted out "so, what difference does that make, you got MP."

At first he looked like he was going to faint, then he whispered "what? How do you know?" When I explained what had happened, the look on his face was sheer bliss.

I fully expected this day to end with me feeling depressed. But that look on my son's face when he learned he was getting his dream job... I cannot even describe how that felt. I hate the fact that he cannot do his dream job living next door to me, but I cannot begrudge him that happiness.

lynn P. · Sep 01, 2010 at 10:00 PM

(((AAAAA))) - sounds like an emotional day. It's very touching you got to see him take his oath. Congratulations on your son getting his top job pick - awesome! You're really thinking in a healthy way - instead of feeling sad...instead you feel happy because he's happy. Kudos to you/your husband and prayers for your son's safety/success.

AAAAA · Sep 02, 2010 at 11:22 AM

It is impossible to feel anything but happy for him. All we want as parents is for our children to be happy, this one is over the moon.

worried mother3 · Oct 21, 2010 at 10:34 PM

I kind of understand how you feel. My older brother was in the navy for seven years and when he left it broke my heart because he was and still is my best friend. I love him and appreciate everything he as well as the military has doen to protect us. He made it home safe and sound and I know God will do hte same for you. I will keep your son in my prayers to keep him safe best wishes.

AAAAA · Oct 23, 2010 at 05:06 PM

Thanks for the prayers worried. I've come to terms with this. My son works very hard to keep this MOS. The PT and training that he attends weekly would be paid had he joined the Army, but he does it because this is something he truly wants to do. They are down sizing the military and he feels very lucky.

He made me so proud this past week. He discovered that a freshman girl was feeling lonely and left out so he includes her in his group. He's doing everything he can to have his younger friends take an interest because he's worried about what will happen when he leaves. It has created issues with his girlfriend (who is appearing to be somewhat of a mean girl at this point) but he's standing his ground. I had been concerned that the love he has for this girl would make him make compromises to his own morals, but he's done me proud.

Jewels · Oct 29, 2010 at 04:17 PM

What a blessing to read this thread AAAAA. I know the Marines will test his endurance, but from what I have read he is up to the challenge. And the last thing about including a freshmen into his group because she was lonely and felt left out shows the compassion and caring your son has. I know that you are very proud of him. I will pray for you for strength during the time he is on duty, and for him for wisdom and knowledge of each thing he encounters, so that he can make the right choice for it all.

Blessings to you and your family.

Jewels

AAAAA · Oct 29, 2010 at 05:23 PM

Thanks so much! I am so proud of all of my children that sometimes I think my heart will burst. I don't know how a single one could make me prouder. I am very blessed.

lonegael · Nov 04, 2010 at 05:39 AM

Blessings on you and your son, AAAAA. I am looking at my oldest becoming a man in leaps and bounds, and knowing that someday, I am going to have to make that same admission to myself. He is going to have to leave and head out into this world alone. It is going to be hard. we love him so much, and he has been a rock of support and help with the little guy. In a way, it will be a wonderful thing for him to move out and try his wings, but he will take so much of me with him when he goes.
may your son keep that joy in his calling and his strong character all his days. May he be safe. HUGGGS

shezbut · Nov 04, 2010 at 11:30 AM

((((AAAA))))

That takes such a great deal of strength. My hat is off to you for your strength in letting your son doing what you think is a mistake. Such a tough part of parenting, I am sure.

My girls are still young, but I know they will someday make decisions that make me uncomfortable (and terrified)! I don't look forward to those days...but they will come nevertheless.

I hope that things go well for your son and his troop~ all servicemen and servicewomen are in my daily thoughts. Very best wishes! Oh, there is a cool service called Cup o Joe overseas. Anyone can donate money, which buys a cup of coffee or latte for a person in the service. Minimum donation is $2. I donated $6, buying one for 3 service people. During the time that they drink their donation, they go online and talk with friends and family. Really cool! I became friends with one of the guys my $ went to. We've chatted a couple of times since the cup of joe went to him. So it is a real organization in Iraq, Afghanistan, and lots of other locations. Check it out sometime!

hugs46 · Nov 07, 2010 at 08:07 PM

Hugs to you and yours.

May you find peace and God keep him safe.

Nancy

kgfaith2011 · Dec 09, 2010 at 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by worried mother3

I kind of understand how you feel. My older brother was in the navy for seven years and when he left it broke my heart because he was and still is my best friend. I love him and appreciate everything he as well as the military has doen to protect us. He made it home safe and sound and I know God will do hte same for you. I will keep your son in my prayers to keep him safe best wishes.

Trust me! I have had moments like that! But one thing I am thankful for is being able to sleep peacefully, then wake up the next day to see my children. You are not alone. There will many wonderful days to come.

AAAAA · Dec 09, 2010 at 11:48 PM

Thank you. The day is growing closer. All I can do is be happy for him.

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notz Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Oct 2008 Location: Notzville Posts: 60,397 (SuperPoster!) 15 6,732 hugs given	Aug 29, 2010 at 10:57 AM #3 I am touched by your post, AAAAA. I hope your young man knows what a loving Mom he has. My thoughts will be with you and him. __________________ notz
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PleaseHelp Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Location: in my own mind - most of the time Posts: 9,843 15 529 hugs given	Aug 29, 2010 at 11:32 AM #4 (((AAAA)) You are a strong woman and he is a lucky young man. My thoughts are with you and your family. My fiance is a former Marine. OOOOO RAAAAAH
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 16 1 hugs given	Sep 02, 2010 at 11:22 AM #9 It is impossible to feel anything but happy for him. All we want as parents is for our children to be happy, this one is over the moon. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 16 1 hugs given	Oct 29, 2010 at 05:23 PM #13 Thanks so much! I am so proud of all of my children that sometimes I think my heart will burst. I don't know how a single one could make me prouder. I am very blessed. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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AAAAA Elder Member Since Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 5,042 16 1 hugs given	Dec 09, 2010 at 11:48 PM #18 Thank you. The day is growing closer. All I can do is be happy for him. __________________ I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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