Need To Share.

You just did the right thing. i hope it will cause no harm to your daughter.

Everything has been going good since the girls made the peace agreement. Unfortunately the mother is sticking the middle finger again. Today my youngest is home sick and my 13 yr old was waiting for the bus - the mother drove by and stuck her the finger.

Everyday she drives her kids(don't take the bus) and yesterday I saw her car go by, when I was inside my house. I saw her arm was up and I thought she had the finger up, but wasn't looking closely - I figured it was over and done with, but I had a bad feeling yesterday.

I called the principal to ask her opinion - she thinks we should ignore it, since the girls(my youngest and the girl) are doing well interacting. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to take that advice or not. Feeling bothered she would still be carrying this on and she's obviously not thinking about her kids.

I guess since this is an old thread, it's old news - I'll just speak to my self lol. I've decided to video tape her as she drives by my house. I can look out the window and zoom the camera. Once I get that, I'll decide what's the next step.

That girl’s mother is 100% wrong. Her behavior is childish and rude. I would absolutely get it on video because that is just the kind of person that I am. I don’t know what I would do with the video though. I’d be asking myself some questions, you’ve already witnessed that this family has a perspective issue and will make a mountain out of a mole hill.

What is the best possible outcome?
What is the worst that can happen to her?
Do you think her behavior is dangerous or is rude?
Is prosecuting her worth the backlash your daughters' are certainly going to get?

I would definitely speak to the family friends that are police and get their opinion.

I think I would treat her like the animal she’s acting like. Get an airhorn and every time she flips the kids off blow the horn. Of course that might irritate your neighbors...

Thanks AAAAA and funny one about the blow horn. The kids wait right on the driveway and the bus stops there. There a non functioning car in the driveway and I'm going to set the camera on there in the morning. Once I get it, I have to think carefully like you said, what's the best option for my youngest daughter - my older daughter goes to a different school(middle school).

The police already warned her before to stop, or else she could be charged with being aggressiveness to a minor. I don't think she's dangerous just annoying. I was so happy when their daughter extended the olive branch and everything has been fine, so I don't know what's going through her mind.

The choices are ignore her, call the police again and get her charged, call the police, show her the video(if I get one) and in lieu of charges, she would agree to 100% stop this and keep things peaceful on her side or have my husband go down with the video, which would be worse than a Cuban jail lol. I'm struggling with the idea of ignoring it, because this is my child, but I'm willing to bite my lip if this is the better choice for my youngest. So confusing and maddening.

Personally, I'd just ignore it. If the girls are getting along, that is the main thing. Stirring this pot any more is NOT going to have any positive result.

Thank you farmergirl. I had the camera ready but she either went by before I got out there or went the other way. I'll try again tomorrow and if I catch her, I'll just keep it for now in case her behavior worsens. For now we'll just ignore it...perhaps that bothers her even more IDK. This is a nice area, some houses are at least 300,000 to a million dollar homes. Just goes to prove, that bad behavior can happen at any economic level.

When she did it to my 9 yr old before who was by herself on the sidewalk and the police went down to warn her...she made the extra effort to go around the block after that. Her daughter came the next day with a cute card and friendship bracelet...the card said "lets have a do-over". We were so relieved it was over. I don't know what's going through her mind. Personally I don't do the hand gestures -I feel low doing it lol. Ironically her daughter in grade 5 won the speech contest for the topic of bullying.

I came up with what I think is a good idea. I'm going to let my oldest hold her camera in her hands facing forward and on(not looking through it). If she sticks the middle finger, then my daughter can show the camera and she'll seriously get scared, because before the police warned her not to do this again or she could be charged. Even if she doesn't do it and notices daughter has a camera, then she certainly won't risk doing anything in the future. I think this is the best indirect way to stop this without getting her in trouble and it gives us satisfaction.

Oh. My. God.

Have just read this thread almost entirely and am going HOLY SH IT!

My first thought at the very first post was "is there something going on at their house with the kids"

Just throwing my 2c in which I'm pretty sure has been said better and far more articulately that I will, but.... :P

Document EVERYTHING. You think you'll remember. Just do a little timeline and pop it away. If she is giving your kids the finger, I think she is teaching them a very important lesson herself.

DON'T GROW UP TO BE LIKE THAT!!

I think you've handled this very very well. All you can do is continue to do what you're doing.

If you haven't already, report the issue formally through child protection services (whatever it is over there) so there is a record of it, and just avoid the b!tch.

You are on the high ground here. Morally AND legally. Do keep everyone updated.

PS - if the father did look really really mad, perhaps there is some "playing doctor" going on over there, in a bad way.

I don't think this is a good idea at all! It will just inflame the mother, with unknown consequences for you and your daughter. My inclination would be to get the evidence (picture) without the mother realizing it, if possible, and then decide what, if anything, to do with it.

I agree with Pachyderm. Don't involve your children in any more of this. You are playing with fire. Just let the flames die down.

I can tape her from the front window inside and the kids won't even know. If I get the evidence I'll hang onto it in case she gets worse. She's the one inflaming this and I'm being told to tolerate it....doesn't seem fair. The message I'm sending the kids is - be afraid of the bully...lets not make her more mad.

No, the lesson is that some people are out of control and no matter what we do, they will remain out of control. The important thing to do is maintain safety. That has nothing to do with fear--not a "chicken" kind of fear anyway -- perhaps good, healthy fear; it's just good common sense. Kids need to learn that lesson. That is being the bigger person and not unnecessarily feeding into a bad situation and making it worse. Sometimes bad behavior does need to be ignored in order to extinguish it. This woman is looking for a fight, and if you give it to her, she has won.