[Dark_Dreams]

Aside from the obvious "OMG She cannot be old enough for this" I have handled the idea of her dating fairly well I think. I am not an obsessive parent who has to know every little thing that is going on. I have not asked for a lot of details abotu this particular boy because her track record with boy friends is pretty short. I think one boy asked her out and she dumped in 18 hours later or something. I have met this new guy however. Not talked to him much (don't wanna terrify him just yet) and he seems ok.

Rules are definitely in place. First, homework comes first. That has not worked exceptionally well this past week but I have jumped on her about that. It is so new and in the super ga ga stage so I let last week pass but told her that isn't gonna happen. They hang out in very public places (usually the mall) and spent one afternoon in her chruch parking lot skating (she thought a skateboard would attract the guys. it apparently worked).

So I obviously have my concerns. He seems like a decent guy. I'm sure i should meet him and his family at some point. Since we have not been down this road with boys I had not known previously or that lasted more than a couple days, I am oblivious about timelines here. How does this being a parent of a teenage daughter work in the dating world?

Being a single mom has presented some significant challenges but this is one area I have no idea how to navagate. Anyone wanna enlighten me a little?

[lynn P.]

My daughter just turned 13 so the dating thing will be coming - not too thrilled lol. She's already been asked out, whatever that means at this age. I don't have wise advice because I don't have experience, but I would make sure she's educated about sex and the risks, physically and emotionally. Kids are getting involved way too early IMO. I know it's scary and intimidating - all we can do is offer guidance, hope they take the right road and be open to talk. Best of luck.

[googley]

You should meet him sooner rather than later. My parent met my brother's girlfriend before they were allowed to go out together. I think rules like curfew, etc. need to be known by both parties so there can be no trying to blame the other one if someone comes home late. Good luck in this new area.

[Dark_Dreams]

Meeting is not much of an issue really. Usually, anyone she goes out with I already know. This particular boy I had not met yet but I was the one driving her where ever and she was also with a friend so I wasn't overly worried.

As for sex, oh yeah she is all too familiar. We have talked about it almost since she was old enough to ask where babies come from. She has a healthy respect for her body and has no interest in giving it up. She is getting a bit of some mixed messages between me and her "step mom" but the general rule is she is not ready and she needs to wait.

As for this particular situation, it is over. It seems that they had some conversation and he told her that he had been with between 12 and 15 girls. He could not remember exactly. She told him where to stick it. LOL

I guess I did teach her something right.

She brought a boy over yesterday from school. They were watching movies and playing darts in her room. This is not new. I do trust her so it's all good. Anyway, I frequently popped in just to check on them and see what they were up to. After I dropped him off she told me he would not be coming back over. He tried a few things even though he knew I was right there. She told him to back off but he didn't seem to want to listen. Eventually he got over it.

I'm glad she is confident enough to tell these guys off when they try something. She has been known to hit a guy who tries that so I feel pretty good.

[Perna]

I would feel pretty comfortable as long as neither can drive and "dates" are time limited and at public locations, etc. Being able to check on her would be nice and, if the boy's family are the drivers, I'd want to meet them (and, presumably they'd want to meet you) at that time. I don't know that I'd let them do much in a group setting with no adult supervision though. If I found out my younger teen daughter was "lying" and hanging out with boys at the Mall or something when she claimed to be with "a" girlfriend, that would upset me. I'd do random spot checks for awhile to make sure she acted responsibly.

[Leed]

My granddaughter and daughter were living with me until recently. My granddaughter told me that when a guy asks you "out" it just means that they want to "hang out" with you - I asked her what THAT meant, and she said, "Oh maybe walk you down the hall in school, or meet you before school - that kind of stuff." LOL She didn't put up with any nonsense either - she must have given 6-7 guys the boot and she is only 15. lol I'm glad her Mom taught her well. I helped too.

You just can't be too careful nowadays. If it isn't sex you have to worry about, it's drugs! You almost HAVE to spy on them. lol Hugs, Lee