So sad for my grandson

My beautiful, soon to be 12yr old grandson had yet another breakdown at school today. He assaulted the principle and his guidance counselor. The school wanted to have him transfered to the ER (my daughter had just been to a school meeting this morning and talked about this kind of thing). When they called the police to do the transfer, he was handcuffed, arrested and put in the cruiser and brought to the PD. He now has 2 counts of misdemeanor assault lodged against him.

My daughter picked him up at the PD (they refused to bring him to the ER) and she was angry, not knowing if it would be safe around him and the police didn't seem to care. Told her he was her problem now. WTF is up with that? If they can't show some care or compassion to my daughter, how is my grandson going to learn that it's not okay to behave in this manner?

Well, he was evaluated by the local mental health rep and is waiting transportation to the children's psych hospital. This will be his 3rd time there in 6 or 7 years. He's been dx'ed with Bipolar/ODD/OCD/PTSD and maybe something else, right now I can't think straight. I'm so upset and so worried about him. I'm also concerned for those he assaulted today as well. They did not deserve that.

I'm frustrated because I couldn't see him today, I couldn't be with him at the ER and also couldn't be there to help my daughter or my other baby grandboy either. It's so hard to be stuck an hour away and working and not being able to get the time off to go there. I hope I will see them tomorrow, I just hope I can sleep tonight.

Wish I had some time to just break down and have a good cry......but as usual, sabby needs to "stay strong" and shut up..... *sigh*

Thanks for reading the vent......

((((sabby))))

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Please keep us posted. If you need to vent, please do. PM me if you need anything.

oh hunny I'm so sorry this happened! my heart filled with compassion and care goes out to you, your grandson and daughter. the police should know better!!!

You'd think there would be some compassion and understanding for a child wouldn't you! Gosh, I hope he gets the love and care he deserves and your daughter must be distraught too.

It's ok to cry sabby, let go and then go do your super human thing with helping him and your daughter. My thoughts are with you. ((((((((((( sabby )))))))))))))

Sabby...

Its good to cry its good to vent so anytime you feel the need you just let it out ! We will ALWAYS be here for you and your family.

I so wish I was there right now to give you and your grandson and daughter a real hug and some real hands on help.

Hugs to you all.

Thank you so very much PleaseHelp, HeartWhispers, pegasus and Tishie!

Your words mean more to me than I can express.

I've been doing a lot of research on my grandsons symptoms and unfortunately, I'm not very encouraged at this moment. Childhood Schizophrenia keeps popping up as a possibility. It's very difficult to diagnose because of overlapping symptoms and quite frankly, his age. So I guess time will tell if this is what his issue is or not.

What absolutely breaks my heart the most is that he KNOWS he needs to be in hospital right now. The intake worker at the ER told my daughter that he has NEVER worked with a child who was as calm as my grandson was and who could articulate what his symptoms and issues are like an adult. He said my grandson is extremely intelligent and has superb insight (which we already knew of course!). He said all the other children he's had to evaluate for possible hospitalization have been off the wall, screaming and hitting and not wanting to go to the hospital, but not my grandson, he is relieved to be there and knows he needs to be on meds again. I mean, how wonderful is that and at the same time, how profoundly sad

Again, thank you for your wonderful care and support. I need you guys right now, more than you know. I will be visiting the boy this afternoon and I can't wait to get my grammie arms around him!

to you all!

Sabby

It is sad that your grandson was so calm, but also a "good" thing that he recognizes he needs help. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

((((sabby, grandson, daughter, and family))))

My heart goes out to you and for what is going on right now. I am sorry that the police took so little concern for him and his mom. I know that this is really hard for you and that it is all you can do to hold it together.

Sometimes just doing what you need to do right now is okay. If you feel like breaking down and crying then you have every right to do just that. Being strong sometimes is allowing ones self to feel and to do what you need to do to release all that you are holding.

Sabby does not need to shut up and be quiet. This is hard and what you feel is okay. I validate how you feel and what you think. Crying is a good thing and you deserve that outlet. Nothing and no one has the right to make you feel you need to be quiet or not feel what you are feeling.

I know that your grandson means the world to you and you to him too. Knowing that you could not be there yesterday had to be so hard for you and I feel your pain and sadness through your words. In all of this the good thing is now he is getting the help he needs and deserves.

As profoundly sad as this is, he is much like his grandma, and he is reaching out and asking for help. He is very intelligent and I know that he is going to be okay. It may take time but he has you, and his family to be there for him and he knows he is loved.

Sabby, know that we are here for you and uplifting you at this time in our thoughts and prayers, and your grandson and family. Please take care of you and allow yourself to cry and feel as you need to do. It is okay. There is nothing wrong with that, so give yourself permission and cry.

I thank you for posting and want you to know that you are not alone. I know it feels alone right now but you are surrounded by friends that love you and care. Please keep posting and letting out how you are feeling. I am here for you and love you more than you know. If you need anything please ask and you know I will be there.

Sending many gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

You are in my thoughts!

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou

sabby, a couple of a questions - are you in the USA? does the boy have an IEP?

If he does have an IEP and he acts out with inappropriate behavior the school (if it is a public school) is required to have a meeting to determine if the behavior was a result of his disability. If it is the result of the disability then they cannot kick him out of school but must develop a plan to help him. If the behavior is not a result of his disability then they can kick him out of school or send him away with police.

((((sabby, daughter and grandson))) - I don't have any wise words ATM but know you and your family are in my prayers.

((((((((((((Sabby and family))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you and your family is going through this. I hope that everything gets sorted out and you all get the support you need.

sabby hon I don't have any wise words accept to tell you it is ok to cry even at work. we are too much alike in that we feel we have to be the strong ones in our lives. I am here for you to lean on as I have you thru the years. rest while he is in the hospital as much as you can. luv u my friend!

How sad that your grandson can't have a normal childhood. I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts

Thanks everyone!

I've been finding a little time when I'm sort of alone (in my bedroom) to let loose a bit and cry. At the same time, I am a fixer, so I've been making some phone calls and have more to make on Monday to try to find more specific help for my grandson. He hasn't seen a doctor at the hospital yet, but will on Monday. He's bored because he's not allowed off the wing since he hasn't been evaluated by the doctor yet. So that is kinda pissing him off. I think, in a way it's a good thing as they will be able to see how he reacts when things don't go the way he thinks they should.

Yoda, yes, he does have an IEP and my daughter had just been at the school on Friday morning for a meeting with the team. They decided at that time to have the police called and sent to the ER if he lost it again. Ironically, it happened about an hour after their meeting. *sigh* So, the school called my daughter to double check the procedure they would use.

I do not know if he will be going back to that school or enrolled in a boys school or not at this point. He has been a danger to other students as well as staff and to himself. They may decide to keep him in his school once he's on meds but that remains to be seen.

Seeing him yesterday was really hard. He has a number of "ticks" going on now, including clearing his throat constantly, his foot and leg going all the time and he's blinking fast and often again. I can tell his anxiety is very high. I had tears in my eyes, choking them back while we were talking and playing around. This is all just breaking my heart

Again, thank you everyone for your words and support. I really need a place to vent this out and I am very thankful to all of you for reading and posting. You are my rock!

I'm glad you are finding some time for yourself. It is important to take care of yourself.

Is there something he can do on the wing to help him pass his time?

You and your family are in my thoughts.

He does have some puzzle books and he's been making things out of construction paper like wands and stuff. He's been playing cards with staff and board games too.

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, I'm not sure yet, he had a big meltdown today. A boy was playing around with him and wouldn't stop doing whatever it was he was doing and it really pissed my grandson off and he went into a tirade. He became unsafe with the other child and with staff and refused to go into the time-out room so they had to physically put him in there. He threatened to kill the kid and the staff and to burn the place down and was dropping the f-bomb like mad. He's so angry....scary angry and many times he doesn't remember what he says and does when he's in that mode. On top of that he believes he has dragon blood inside of him and that's what takes over when he gets mad.

So anyway, they were able to see him in action. Tomorrow he will see the doctor(s) and they will contact my daughter about what meds they want him on.

My heart is breaking.....................................................................

Sorry to hear about his meltdown. I do hope they can help him. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Good grief!!!

For a number of years now my daughter has been requesting that a neuropsych workup be done on my grandson. No one has ever followed through with it.

She just found out today from the psychiatrist at the hospital who is seeing my grandson that on his first visit there in 2006, they did neuropsych testing on him and never told her it was done. They said at that time he refused to do much of the testing. But even so, there was significant information to be had from the parts of the test that he did complete that may have made a world of difference in his schooling and his IEP. We are so boiling mad right now it's not funny.

Not one bit of the results were sent to his mental health team or his school team or his mother. What the hell is going on here? Another "oops" and he falls through the cracks?? Oh well, suck it up, it's 5 years later and it is what it is. Bull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, my daughter told the psychiatrist that she wanted the balance of the test done with her son when he is stablized and it was agreed upon. She also went to his current school and requested all of his paperwork and reports as she is taking him out of there and putting him in another school. It was agreed upon by the psychiatrist/social worker/another team member that he should be removed from the current school as things are not going well there. Come to find out they haven't provided him with all that is stated he needs in his IEP. He's to have a 1:1 aid during the whole school day. He has never had one since starting this school in Sept. Who the hell are they to say "Well, we have enough staff here that if we see he needs assistance someone can help him". DOH!!!!!!!!!! By the time you know he's having issues it's too late ya MORONS! He's already worked up and unable to self regulate and that's when crap hits the fan. Someone needs to be with him to "see" how he is behaving BEFORE he freaks out, not try to calm him afterwards.

At times like this it's easy to feel that ignorance and stupidity reign over the world. I know, I don't mean that exactly but what the hell......there is just no excuse for this and my poor grandson is the one who pays the price for it. Damned SWINES!

Rant over now........thanks!

I am so sorry hon. I hope he can finally get the help he needs and deserves!