[Viamelia]

My husband and I hav been together 6 years. He has. An 11 yr old son from a previous marriage and we have a 2.5 yr old son together. His son lived with us full time until we got pregnant, then his mom fought us for custody and got him back. She had nothing to do with her son until she found out we were having a baby together?? My husband and his ex do not get along and fight constantly. She is extremely jealous of my son. For the past 3 years we have lived one state apart. It's a 4.5 hour drive for visitation. My husband gets his son all holidays and mostly every other weekend. Here the past year, my step son is refusing to come to our home and visit. He is DEMANDING that my husband come to his grandmother house near his moms and stay the weekends there for visitation. He has stated repeatedly how much he hates his lil brother. I mean he has nothing to do with him and has been in trouble multiple times for hurting, hitting or pushing my lil boy.
My husband is torn because he wants to see his son as much as possible but he has to drive 4.5 hours and stay gone every other weekend in order to make his son happy. It has torn our family and we are on the brink of separating. I can't deal with him being gone this much not to mention the message it will send to our son when he is old enough to understand. When my step son does come to our house to visit he is very mean to my son and has nothing to do with him.
My husband feels he just need one on one time alone with my step and I feel that he needs to be made to be a part of our family.
Please help I don't know what to do?