trouble with bully's

My 8 yr old is having a lot of trouble with these 2 brats a couple years older than him that live in our neighbor hood. It started with just name calling and swearing (really horrible things for kids this young. some of it racist) which we could deal with... but now its to the point where he can't go to the park or anywhere else in the area because these kids will show up and chase him until they catch him if there aren't other bigger kids in the vicinity to intervene. It has gotten physical a couple times. Couple days ago someone spray painted "A$$hole" across my fence and i'm pretty sure it was these 2 (can't prove it). I don't know anyone else who would do that and that seems to be one of their favorite names for my son. My son's only safe when he's at home or a friends house... but he's a very active little boy who loves his bike and skateboard and hates to be inside.

I've talked to both of these boys parents. One doesn't want to hear anything I have to say about his precious little demon spawn and has been extremely rude and vulgar. I know where the kid gets it from now. The other one would at least talk to me and said she'd talk to her kid about it, but I get the feeling that she thinks my son is lying or her sons behavior is being exaggerated. I KNOW this is not the case. I've caught this kid red handed trying to get his hands on my son as well as I've talked to other kids and teens in the area that have all verified what my son has been telling me as well as a few other things I was previously unaware of and shocked to find out. And my son is not the only one these kids pick on, but he seems to get the worst of it. Either way... the bullying isn't stopping and I'm frustrated because I don't know what else to do. He doesn't have a ton of friends who can back him up against these two and I cant be there all the time with my son and he'd be horrified if I chaperoned him around the neighborhood. Thankfully they don't go to the same school.

I'm trying to convince my son to take martial arts of some kind but he seems to shy to try it. any tips on breaking his shyness? Would it be wrong for me to tell him to go ahead beat the crap out of them (if they start it)? I don't condone violence, but I feel like a good dose of their own medicine may be only solution since their parents won't do anything.

What I'm going to advise is potentially unethical, but it worked. I was bullied terribly when I was in elem and jr high. What my mother ended up doing was paying a few bigger boys in the neighborhood to watch my back. She'd give them like $5 a week to keep the bullies at bay and it did work. A lot of people will provably say that's not a good idea, but it might help if your son doesn't want to fight or learn martial arts (I didn't either)

I am not a parent, but I was bullied.

When it gets to the point where your son no longer feels safe not only at school, but at home and in public spaces, AND you have had vandalism occur, it's time to contact the police. No child should have to face this pain every day. Ever. And there is no excuse for the bullies behavior.

I would contact the police, also the school (if they go to the school), and explain the situation. Document everything to your memory.

When it comes to bullies, I have no pity for them. If they want to live a life of freedom, they should behave like decent human beings.

When it come to children just feeling the need to be safe at a playground...the big red light needs to go off!!!
In today's society name calling is just the beginning and the it progresses. If these kids have physically vandalized your property, what are you waiting for? Get the police involved! Your child means more than anything in the world...don't take a chance on that. Some people were never made to be good parents, this might actually get the the help and eye opening experience to get off their asses before anything worse can happen!
Too many kids suffer in silence...you have the opportunity to speak up for them and your child...the time for being silent is over!!

I agree its time to call the police but it would be difficult to prove they did this. Don't let your son play alone or go by himself to the park. Does he have some friends to play with? If not then you should accompany him. You can enroll him in karate, but it will take time to get the training and only use it when absolutely necessary. My almost 16 yr old is a black belt and when she was at a new middle school for 7 and 8, she was challenged to a few fights. She forewarned the girls she was trained in karate and they backed off. Karate would increase his assertiveness and confidence. Sorry this is happening.

I have had terrible issues with bullying too, My daughter was constantly bullied at school the parents do not care so if we can't reason with them what chance have our kids got? I had to remove my daughter from the school because of the bullying and now she has lost all self esteem and confidence, I blame the parents I really do. I hope that your son will be okay

The bullying is an issue on its own but the other issue is vandalism, which if it keeps happening, might be time to invest in surveillance then contact the authorities.

As for your son, you're fighting a losing battle since the parents of the 2 kids probably reinforce that behaviour. Your best bet would be to have your son gain additional friends or find kids willing and capable of protecting him.

For the martial arts option, you might want to consider self-defense classes but more traditional martial arts classes are certainly a valid option. At the classes I helped teach (both self-defense and traditional martial arts), many of the students enrolled because they were being bullied or abused. I cant speak for how all classes operate but we always emphasized to avoid a fight and many of the combat techniques were geared toward this goal; do something to briefly stop the attack, then run Forrest, run. Sparring for 8-year olds should/would be done with a generous amount of padding and protection, so he doesn't get hurt or hurt his sparring partner, however, it's unrealistic if he ends up in a 2vs1 fight. I cant imagine any instructor allowing an 8-year to engage in heavy sparring, which is more realistic but not something an 8-year old should be doing.

The martial arts option is a long-term solution because your son won't learn a lot in the first few classes, anything he learns won't be natural for him to do and he may not have enough confidence to do them. Hopefully, the threat of him knowing martial arts is enough to deter the bullies. Finding other kids willing to help is the short-term solution. Perhaps you could talk with other parents in the area and create a parent meeting to discuss how these 2 kids should be dealt with since they're not only affecting your son, property and yourself.

I forgot about this post. Thanks for the replies. Thought I'd respond and update.

As much as I wanted to call police... they won't and can't do anything to kids under the age of 12 here. Even if they murder someone (though social services can enforce therapy in extreme cases like murder ) . That's the canadian legal system for you. Potentially had I invested the money into surveillance cameras etc and caught these little turds in the act I may have been able to seek financial restitution from the parents for whatever damage their spawn did... but that would have taken months and more money than the actual damage caused in this case. The bullying would not be addressed at all as far as police were concerned.

However, that said.... what I ended up doing was just randomly popping up everyday where ever my son was playing under the guise of bringing him a bottle of water (cause it gets hot in the summer playing in the sun ya know ). If these bullies happened to be where he was... I lost my marbles on them. Repeatedly. Whether I caught them picking on him or not. I think farmers in the next county over could have heard me screaming at these kids. I think all the kids in the neighborhood now think I'm a giant ***** and are scared of me. Other parents probably too. lol. But my son doesn't come running home anymore cause kids are picking on him. Works for me. I do think my son is still a little embarrassed of me. But what kids aren't embarrassed by their parents? I know I sure was!

Would still like to get him into something like martial arts just because it would be a confidence booster i think. Still working on trying to convince him to try it (or anything else like that).

Ugh, bullying stinks.

Went to a local pond/beach last year. These boys were rude and ruthless, to my middle son. Enough so, first I tried removing my son, from mix. Then spoke to a lifeguard, on duty, then spoke directly, to these boys, told them, I was going to talk to their mommies, if they didn't stop. Then, the Mom, comes over to her son, not me , whispering out to him, not calling out, wth, 'whispering', said if that woman says anything, to you again, come see her :whaa??;...next thing, her husband arrives, at the beach?!?...really, a man called in, for women business?? How about minding your kid, and.calling him out for bad behavior???
I packed up, my kids, told them, these weren't people we needed to be around.
Sweet irony, is serving this little boy lunch, almost daily
I digress.

Vandalism is huge!! What types of bad examples are in their home, almost feel sorry for them, eh??

Glad you've found a means, to curb it!!!

My sons teammate, started wrestling and mma, due to being bullied, on the playground. My son, had issues, with same kid, as his teammate.

My now 8 yr old, had troubles on bus, last year, i pulled them, from the bus, this year. It was noted, in an iep review, in springtime.



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CALL THE POLICE.

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Oops just read ur last post. Showing up and calling them out on it is perfect. If their parents wont, then u can be his bully advocate!! Just make sure your son isnt lying about further bullying bc he wants to avoid your involvement.

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My son was bullied for years by boys at school. I say contact the school and contact the police.

My son never wanted me to say anything so I keep a close on on him. I am glad I did. One day at school one of his teachers was discussing bullying in class in the context of a book they were reading...she asked if anybody had ever been bullied. My son raised his hand. When she asked how it made him feel he told her felt like he wanted to die. At first she didn't think a whole lot about it thinking it was just an answer not that he really wanted to die...but all night it bothered her so she spoke to him the next day...when he said yes he wanted to die she contacted me immediately. We got him into counseling and worked with him. He had thought about jumping off the bridge where he was going rollerskating most Saturday nights. Gradually things got better with the other kids...it finally completely ended when one day one of the boys was teasing him in class. As the boy went to walk by my son my son put his foot out and the boy tripped...when the kids in class starting screaming at my son for doing it...the teacher turned around and said both of you be nice and walked off....the kid never teased him after that.