mother of a possibly bipolar 6 year old girl

My daughter is 6 years old. She has always been difficult to handle, throwing fits for no reason, becomes overwhelmed quickly, hits, kicks bites, takes hours to calm down, argues with me on a daily basis. For a very long time I worried that my parenting was the problem. I read parenting books, asked people for advice, never give into her fits. Everything I could possibly do. Until a few months ago I had been able to simply blame myself or argue away her behavior and inability to cope (she tired, she doesn't feel well, this is normal for a child her age). As my daughter has become worse we have become more and more isolated from people because of the embarrassment I feel whenever she throws fits I can't control in public. Her behavior has recently turned to unsafe she runs away into the road or parking lot and has attracted the involvement of Social services. Unfortunately she has gotten to a size that I can no longer physically control her alone during these outbursts. As a single mother it has been extremely difficult. I took her to a psychologist and all she did was throw fits and throw things around the office. took her to the neurologist who diagnosed her with ADHD and put her on medicine that only made her worse. I have been doing some research into childhood bipolar disorder and I fully believe this is what she has. Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia run in my family. In the meantime while we search for a medication that works and a diagnosis that fits I am at my wits end I don't no what to do anymore. I feel as if my entire life is lived around my mentally ill child.

My son is now 11. ADHD medication did not help him until his moods were stabilize (as much as they could be) because of the Autism. I would get her fully evaluated including developmental disabilities, learning issues and psych issues. For children it seems as soon as you hit an equilibrium they hit a growth spurt and it starts all over. What accommodations do you have set at the school?

None. I recently started the process to get her evaluated through the school. But they haven't done anything yet. I have been trying to keep her issues within the family because since I am a single mother I often get a lot of blame. I can't even involve her dad because he uses it to try for custody.

Go with a private neurological psychologist because that keeps it in the family. Please get her a therapist. It sounds more like autism spectrum disorders. Before you go the route of mental illnesses make sure she doesn't have any learning or developmental disabilities. When she does anything that you feel is abnormal write down the situation and her reaction. When you get a second before bed write down your day with her. As for running into the road or in parking lots a child leash helps. I know I get/got a lot of slack for it but it keep him safe in the road. My son now wears the long character hats or hoodies so that if he gets to far I can tug it if he gets to far. It's far less embarrassing for him.

I used to work with emotionally and behaviorally disturbed children and am a mother of 3 boys, one of which I suspect has Aspergers. Despite the diagnosis, the way to work with them is always the same-Structure and consistency. Develop a routine and help her prepare for it, especially if there is a certain time you know she'll go off. For example, so son used to have a huge fit when it was time to leave somewhere so when we were about to leave I would buckle him in the car annld go over the rules and how I expected him to behave and then what the consequence would be if he misbehaved. Then you need to stick to your guns. Setting limits will initially cause the behaviors to worsen if she is not accustomed to it, but she should come around.

The other thing is to try to discover what she is trying to gain through her tanturm. Make sure her behavior does not succeed in meeting her goal and process through this with her- Talk to her about what it is she wants. Ask if her behavior got her what she wanted. Then ask her what it did get her (her consequence). Help her find the words to express to you what she wants without a tantrum (she still won't always get what she wants much of the time, but teach her to express herself.

I would recommend bringing her to see a specialist. The school can be a good resource if finances are an option as they may pay for some things, such as occupational therapy or teaching you behavior management skills.

I would start sooner rather than later. As you pointed out she's already getting bigger. Not only is she harder to restrain, these behaviors are more strongly developed with age.

I hope thing get better for you.

How does she behave in school?
Like the others, I would say a full evaluation is in order.