6yo Daughter doesn't listen to me (mother)

Howdy, I have a 6yo daughter that doesn't like listening to me but she'd listen to her father & has respect for him. She tells me fairly regularly that she hates me & I try to talk to her but she's not interested in talking. I've tried to make ends meet without success with her but it's hard going because I know she'd rather her father stay home to look after her but his the bread winner in the employment game. Tried talking to her but doesn't seem to understand anything that we say & I'm almost at wits end to know what to do. Please help as nothing has worked so far that we've tried.

Hmmm ... are you a stepmother? That can certainly make things difficult.

Otherwise, each parent ends up filling a role for some reason and often the children will pick up on those roles. Watch carefully how your husband acts around ...

Wait ... I may have chosen my words incorrectly. I noticed that you didn't say he's your husband ...

Could you expand more on your family situation? There are quite a few things that could be playing into this. I could be simple dynamics between you and her or far more.

You and your husband must be a team in raising the child. Never allow her to be disrespectful to you. Your husband needs to stand by you and support you.
Some churches and social groups have parenting classes. I would explore what is available and both of you attend classes ASAP.

When she tells you, she hates you, what's your typical reaction?

I've had the hate word, tossed out a handful of times, by pretty much all three, at various ages. "Sorry you feel that way, but I love you." And, then, ignore it, completely. As in, discussion over. 6 year olds, have their own level of irrationality. Can't rationalize with irrational moments. Only state your support, your truth and mix with a little compassion. Wearing yourself out over it, does no one any good.

She sounds like she is very close to her father and just misses him. I grew up a similar way and only realized that the reason I was like that as I a got older was because one parent would spend more time with me and treated me better. Not saying you do not treat your daughter well but your daily interaction with her could be a problem. Are you always fighting, nagging, and not making life enjoyable for her? Are you worried more about discipline than your husband? Do you yell more, do you not spend quality time with her? All these questions need answers if you want a better understanding of a child's mindset.

You sort of have to look at it from her perspective and see what is making her feel this way. Is she unhappy with some other aspect of her life? Are you making her life fulfilling and as happy as you can?

Children do not understand the word hate and the significance behind that. I don't necessarily think of it as disrespectful, I think of it as expressing how they are feeling. Your husband may give her some comfort that you aren't/can't. I think many parents disregard children's feelings, but I think it is important to look deeply into this and try to improve your relationship with quality time and talking.

Please try to take it with a grain of salt. 6 is so little. If you're the one home all day, having to be the disciplinarian, that may be why she's taking it out on you. It's good she's adoring her dad. That doesn't mean she loves you less. Try to make time to play with her on her level during the day. Like Healing said, I've heard it plenty too, with all my kids ages. Response, I'm sorry you're feeling bad, I love you very much. Then I'd change the subject and say hey let's make cookies or pretend cookies. I don't think you can really expect her to understand the talks. If you need to short & sweet say hey that's not a nice thing to say. But try not to show how it hurts you, try to show unemotional and just moving on change the subject & play with her. She's just little, doesn't really understand what she's saying & they grow out of it. Until they're teens...