[shellyct]

In an attempt to make a long story rather short:

Divorced 5 years ago, husband was cheating, children were 15 and 10 at the time. My 15 year old daughter caught him, which was my final straw, filed for divorce 3 months later (holidays).

October 2015 ex stopped paying alimony and child support. I have had extreme financial difficulties, our home is foreclosed. I cannot afford to buy another home, and my credit is ruined. I am moving into my new husbands grandfathers apartment which will only cost me utilities, but it is only a 2 bedroom, without the ability to have private space for my now 20 year old daughter and 15 year old son. Also, it is a different town with a not-great school system. My kids will b e moving in with their grandmother (same town, so my son can stay in the same school), each will have their own room. We are setting up the spare bedroom for the kids to come whenever they want to.

We are at crunch time. I have a small farm. My goats and horses are moving to boarding this weekend, the barn cats have been rehomed, the chickens are moving to their new home tonight. The kids dogs will come with me, and the cat will go with them to their grandmothers.

I've talked to my son about this, while attempting very hard to not bash his father. he understands the situation, and the fact that we really have no other choice in the matter. The court battles continue with my ex, but that is another story.

My son has been having dreams about living out in the middle of nowhere. He missed school Monday becuase he felt he just couldn't deal with it. He went to school Tuesday and told me that he had to fight hard not to cry during an acting class. He won't tell me what is bothering him specifically. He does see a therapist. I asked him if he wanted an appointment and I would call and make him one. He said not right now.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do for him, and I am so worried for his emotional welfare. he is a good kid, he doesn't get into trouble, is not into drugs or a bad crowd that I'm aware of . He says most of the kids are school are jerks but he has a few friends, not a lot. He doesn't like the "teen male bravado" attitude. He isn't a social outcast, or a "nerd" as the kids called in my day. He has played baseball successfully since he was 5, and recently decided he doesn't want to play anymore.

I'm looking for some thoughts, ideas, advice, something to attempt to help him through this transition. Thank you.

Michelle

[Skeezyks]

Hello Michelle: I'm sorry I'm not really able to respond to your concerns. Hopefully some other members here on PC will have some suggestions to offer. However, in the meantime, since this is your first post here on PC... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[googley]

Hi Shellyct. Welcome to PC.
I am sorry you and your family are in such a rough situation right now. It sounds like you are all trying to do your best with a bad situation. My recommendation would be that instead of asking your son if he needs a therapy appointment you just set him up with one. If he doesn't have a regularly scheduled appointment with his therapist I would recommend you set one up for him. He is at a very challenging age and then with the added stress of your current situation he could use extra support even if he says he doesn't need it. You might also want to talk to him about whether he would be okay with you letting his school counselor or social worker know what is going on so that if he needs to step out of class he would have someone to talk to at school. Do your best to keep supporting him and be there for him as much as possible given your financial/time limitations.

[COguy]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I will pray for you.

Yes, divorce is very stressful on most involved. I also realize it can be necessary in many situations. One can only put up with so much.

Allow family to help as they are able and willing.