[livelaughlove22]

I am taking care of my friends 5 year old daughter for a while. Her and her ex husband are divorced and she recently discovered that anytime her daughter has been at his house the past two years and a half years, she's been sexually abused by him and his friends.It hit the mother very hard that this happened to the little girl and she is going to get help for depression, before living with her daughter again because she doesn't want the environment to be unstable. Originally she was supposed to be returned to her soon, but it does not look like that will be happening, I will be getting custody for about 2 years.

She will NOT sleep. She throws tantrums every night and doesn't go to sleep until 4 or 5am. I'm worried. What do I do?

[gma45]

Hello livelaughlove22, I know how hard bed time can be for a 5 year old. I live with my granddaughter who is 5 and has had a hard time sleeping and she has never been abused. She is getting better but we have bought her new pretty bedding for her bed and glow light pillows and light up animals, night lights etc.... She is just a night owl and I think afraid she will miss something. We finally have got her on a routine where she gets her water to drink and her lighted animal that projects stars on the wall and she has gotten better. I think you really have to reassure them that they are going to be fine and safe. And the sooner she goes to sleep the sooner it will be light again. Is she in counseling? If she is I would ask, maybe they have some better ideas. But I think we tried most all of them. The poor little thing has been through so much with her parents divorce and the sexually abuse, I don't blame her for not wanting to sleep. I do know it is hard regardless. I will keep thinking positive for you.

[Bill3]

For the specific issue of sleep refusal, perhaps discussing the possibility of a referral from her pediatrician to a pediatric sleep disorders clinic near you would be worth considering. Here is an example,which I found by googling:

RI Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Hasbro Children's Hospital

The clinic should not focus solely on breathing problems; there should be pediatric psychologist(s) on staff.

[healingme4me]

Sounds tough, because of her past. Until the counsellors and pediatricians can devise solutions, what have you tried?
Is she willing to recognize, that it's quiet time in the home? Does she prefer the door, open or shut? Nightlight on or off? Can she be trusted to be allowed to stay awake but confined to her room? Would a tv with one movie continuously playing work?(not a big fan of tvs in bedrooms, but she seems like she may have terrors of the night?) Classical music? What works? What doesn't?
A catch phrase for me, at one point with one of my sons, thinking my oldest, is I will see you after the sun comes back out. The word morning is a tough concept for children, sometimes. I told him repeatedly this is quiet time. Not play time.
Her body will not be able to withstand such lack of sleep. There's a huge part of her trigger. Are there other parts of your home she'll fall asleep? A couch, to carry, where she wakes up, in her own bed, adjusts her to realizing it's safe there?
There's adjustments that can be taken to get her back on track. Is she in communication with her mother? Do you talk with her about her? Asking to understand if that glimmer is working against her viewing your home as where she's going to be for a long time in her childhood.

In addition, had my son's friend many overnights plus, two whole weeks. He informed me, he doesn't sleep through the night. I said, I don't always either, but I have the sun rule. He sometimes talked in his sleep, but he slept just fine. I offered him a safe haven.

[healingme4me]

Seems like threads merging might help some of us not reiterate suggestions?
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=355486