[gloamingone]

Ok, I know they're ALL difficult (I was a holy terror), but my 17-year-old son is ruining his life, and I'm at a loss. He lives a mile away with his dad (long story there), so I see him fairly often. We get along great.

The problem is, he often refuses to go to school, doesn't do any of his homework, is failing his classes (he's already been held back a year, too), and his friends are skeevy. No matter what we do, he refuses to buckle down and at least ATTEND school.

This is a smart, borderline genius kid. He started getting into trouble when he got to high school. He's been suspended (once for six months) a few times. He got caught by the cops tagging a bridge with his friends. When he goes out with his friends, they get drunk and high. He's driven drunk (luckily he didn't kill anyone!), but now we only rarely let him drive.

He's just so out of control. It kills me that my gentle, compassionate, intelligent, quiet first-born is ruining his life like this, but I have no clue what to do. He's bigger than us, so we can't exactly force him to go to school. He sneaks out to be with his friends. We can't force him to do homework. His allowance has been taken away, but that didn't make a bit of difference. What else can we do?

Help!

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[jelly-bean]

Have you tried making him go to school at home on the computer? That way he would be separated from his school "friends" and someone would be there to see that he does it. I would also suggest that he be made to get a job to occupy some of his time. It's never easy with a troubled teen and maybe he needs some counseling as well. Good Luck to you.

[Victoria'smom]

You should look into job corps or do you have virtual school he can go to or GED program?