Daughter Has Unrealistic College Goals

Ok, before anyone comes in and starts saying things like: "Your daughter might surprise you", or "You're setting her up for failure", and "Why don't you believe in your child more?" let me explain a few things.

SHe's 16, she's lazy, sleeps all day, overweight and has a 2.4 gpa. She is expecting to get into any college she wants to based on her community service with high school. She won't clean her room or do anything I tell her. She suffers from depression and other issues she's talking to a counselor for.

She's telling people she wants to be a Psychologist or a Psycho-pharmicologist....something like that. Something that requires a doctorate...which, I'm sorry, I don't see her having that kind of drive or capability to get based on her grades. I don't have much faith that she'll accomplish anything past an AA in basic education requirements. She flunked Algebra II and got a D in Geometry and she thinks colleges will be happy to have her. In high school, she is doing the basic minimum to scrape by. The least amount she can get away with is what she accomplishes.

I've tried to inform her without being negative by telling her to research the college requirements on these professions and see what they entail. I've also told her to really look at what she can do and see if her goals are realistic based on that. She still has big dreams and wants to do something 'special' and be important. I told her...don't go for a job because you want to be special or important....do something because it matters and it's accomplishing something important! Then you will be successful.

She won't listen. I don't know how to motivate her to either do better so she can attain her goals, or pick one that is more realistic! I didn't have crazy dreams like this when I was growing up. I did go to a trade school for Commercial Art and got a degree, then ended up hating it. Consequently, I went into the military and made a career out of that. I guess some of this is from me, hoping she doesn't waste an education on something she won't use. Like me, she'll have to figure out her own path and won't listen to anyone else until she does. *bangs head on wall*

Have a 3-way meeting with her school counselor about her college plans?

I agree with Hankster. Have her sit down with you and her counselor and look at GPA requirements, etc. for colleges. Her counselor can also talk to her about what she needs to do while still in high school to prepare herself for college. If the school counselor is at competent, she will give your daughter a reality check that with her current GPA, she is probably looking at starting on the community college level before a university will really consider her as a serious applicant. That's not a bad thing really. 1. It is much cheaper. 2. The classes are generally smaller and more of a transition from high school to university level 3. If she can turn herself around and do decently on the community college level, she may very well be able to continue on to reach her goals on the university level.

My middle son really struggled in high school. He did graduate, but it was a struggle every step of the way. He had very poor motivation and study skills. He received special services as a student with disabilities. Honestly, my goal when he was 16 was to get him out of high school alive (I'm not kidding there) and with a diploma. Sound familiar? But he has gone into community college and has really made a turn-around. He has really started to figure out how to do well on the college level. He's discovered he CAN do this school thing; it just took him longer than others to gain that kind of confidence. Call him a late bloomer perhaps, but he did manage to start finding school success in his own time. I suspect he'll reach his goals. It may take him a bit longer, but I'm not going to discourage him right when he's just starting to get this school stuff figured out.

Your daughter may be able to reach her goals IF she can make that transition, and I've seen many students do so by going this route. At this point, help direct her to an obtainable college goal for the first year or so. She's young. What she thinks she wants to do right now will probably change as she is exposed to career paths that she hasn't even heard of at this point. Don't discourage her from college altogether though.

My son 13 wants to be a pharmacist. He's carrying a d average. I have very little hope he'll get past his tech degree. So I convinced him to become a pharmacy tech. So that he can get use to the atmosphere and because he'll need a reference for his masters and PhD.

It may be time for her to start dual enrollment at the local community college. To try it out

I agree with the other answers here. Child counselor will be able to figure out and solve the problem.

Perhaps the kids should talk directly to professionals already in the field for a reality check regarding what goes into being an actual pharmacist. A pharm tech is about a two year degree, but yes, a pharmacist has at least a master's or PHD level education. I've talked with many young people who will tell me straight faced that they hate school, hate the teachers, hate studying, but then have aspirations to be a pilot, a doctor or nurse, etc. Coming from a parent or a counselor, it might look like nagging, etc, but if they just had a chance to talk with someone who is actually doing the work, it might help motivate them or set their sights on something more realistic.