Wha would you do?

hannabee · Jan 06, 2016 at 02:55 PM

So I was at the dentist who happens to specialize in kids, and this man asks his son (maybe 5 years old) to pick up the toys he brought and put them in the car (which is, I assume, outside in the parking lot). The boy says, you do it. The man slaps the boy's leg really hard and says, you do it! He does not cry.

There are two mothers sitting their with their little girls. Neither one says a word. I'm sitting there with my 72 year old husband, who I KNOW will get into a fight with this man if I say something. So I didn't.

In my younger days I did confront a woman who I thought was abusing her child in the drug store, but I'm a grandmother now and like I said, I know what might have happened.

My question is: why didn't these other two mothers say anything? I felt so badly for the child and I just didn't and couldn't look at the asshat father.
Was I wrong to expect SOMEONE to say SOMETHING? Would you have said something?

CANDC · Jan 06, 2016 at 03:09 PM

I myself have seen abusive situations. I try to be a presence without saying anything. It did seem to make the parent self conscious enough to hurry them along. They could sense my disapproval without saying anything.

Problem is there are still a lot of parents that were brought up with spanking as a coping mechanism. It is not that I don't have any guilt, it is that I know how it hurts the persons who hurts another as much as it hurts the child. They are both victims of negative thinking.

I think it is risky trying to help cope with other people's kids. The parent can turn into a snarling animal. No, too risky for me. And I am not perfect either.

hannabee · Jan 06, 2016 at 06:47 PM

Yes, I do think this man had to have sensed my disapproval, and my whispering to my husband may have made him think about things. I sure hope so, anyway!

coyotee · Jan 09, 2016 at 03:14 PM

I hope someone can come up with some constructive ideas here because I would like to be a voice should I see something of the sort. This is heartbreaking.

It's a tough call though, if someone can be so nasty to their own kid, they can certainly be worse to a stranger trying to intervene. So for the sake of their own kids, I'm not too surprised those women didn't do anything or say anything. I'm just going to bet that the situation was very tough for them in the moment even if they didn't outwardly react to it - like maybe they were paralyzed in a way by it because they were caught off guard.

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hannabee Grand Member Member Since Feb 2013 Location: TBD Posts: 780 11 430 hugs given	Jan 06, 2016 at 06:47 PM #3 Yes, I do think this man had to have sensed my disapproval, and my whispering to my husband may have made him think about things. I sure hope so, anyway!
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