Apparently I'm not doing it right

Who knows how to parent? We know the rights and wrongs in life but you're dealing with someone who has their own personality, a different experience of the world to you and different likes and dislikes.

My daughter is 7 and while we do all the homework, all the reading, and everything else according to school she needs to be doing more and showing more interest.

Now, I understand the importance of learning. But it's hard to learn about something that doesn't interest you. She doesn't like maths (neither did i) so she doesn't pay too much attention. But she loves science so really goes above and beyond.

In my job I read about kids as young as 9 being sent for mental health assessments and it scares me. I don't put any pressure on my child because I don't want her to think that if she doesn't do well it's really bad. Of course I want her to do well, and I encourage her, but it's also OK to be rubbish at something. If she doesn't want to do an after school club, she doesn't have to. If she really wants to do the art club, she does it.

Last year I was told by the teacher that her personality didn't fit in the class a d parents were complaining that their children felt 'irritated' by her. Well yes, she's 7 and is by no means shy and retiring. My response was that it was tough. As long as she wasn't upsetting anyone, hurting anyone or being rude then the kids are going to have to learn to deal with it as we all do in life. Now none of the mums speak to me.

My child is well mannered, behaves 90% of the time, is caring and funny but knows what is and isn't acceptable, and how we should deal with people. If people can come over here and not speak a word of English but manage to live their life, I'm pretty sure my daughter won't fail at life because she doesn't know her 9 times tables.

I don't think my way if doing things is wrong, it's just not the same as someone else.

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Totally with you!!!!!
When my kids bring home a test paper & know they did poorly on it (Bec their peers told them) I ask them if they tried their best. That's all we ask for. Then we file it.....in the trash.

We tell them we could care less about what grade is on the stupid paper.
Now my oldest, 11yo, might come clean & say well, I could've done better. So we work with that.

They catch on. But I think it helps that kids see what parents value. We value effort. When my 8yo starts to complain & hav a melt down about homework, I draw a line on the paper & tell the teacher that's all we could do. I'm not going to stress at the kitchen table w/her all nite over a math problem. I'd rather pull out a board game & relieve some of that stress.
When my kids come home & tell me recess was cancelled Bec "they didn't have time" I pick up the phone, again, & voice my opinion!
We also opt out of all standardized testing. More useless crap to make others feel better.
I'll stand with you on this one! Definitely!

You aren't doing anything wrong. Children are being taught these days that they have to be comfortable and happy all of the time. They are not being taught how to deal with people with different personalities or people who challenge them in any way. Everyone has to be "comfortable" and if they aren't it not their fault, its yours. No, wrong wrong wrong!

To get her to care a little bit more about math, maybe cloak it in science. I know my step son hated math, but loved cars, so if you equated the math problem into the car, or engine issues, he could do it easily! Show her how math can be related to science.

These days also, if your school is using common core math, good luck! Hell, I cant do simple arithmetic using common core math!!

Have you looked into a Montessori school?

I think one basic thing I do right as a parent is that my child knows I am on his side.

In response to the teacher telling you the other kids find your daughter annoying. I would have casually asked my child to tell me about her school experience, how is she getting alone with the other kids in her opinion?

If she thought everything was fine, that would be that. But if she told me that the other kids find her annoying, I would ask her what she thinks she does that they find annoying and maybe explain how to behave in a way the other kids find more acceptable.

In kindergarten my son''s teacher told me he was 'the bottom of the barrel'. I should have reported her to the principal. He's now doing just fine. He just started taking guitar lessons and is tearing through the music books. The teacher is so impressed with him.

He has ADHD, btw.

i have a daughter who will start kindergarten in the fall and reading about all this makes me feel better. i agree with what you say and i love the idea of writing a line and saying you did your best instead of stressing over a math problem all night.

just wanted to say that and thanks

The teacher's performance review is based upon the performance of all the students?

My three are each different grade performers but they try. I have my honor roll student. My B student that can pull off honor roll and has. Then my C student that can raise a grade here and there.

There's these triplets in one of my kids class. D students! But that dad of there's is right in there all the time and they try. I'd say he's not doing anything wrong as compared to a mom struggling to understand how to get her son onto honor roll and her insecurity shows. Not that that's wrong either.

I just read an article about high school pitchers in baseball. They are peaking out of the sport. That applies because it's about way too much pressure.

Edit to Add: just thinking that one can tell a lot about a person/child when the ketchup begins to run low on the lunch line. Will they take only what they need and save for the next? Will they sneak in an undercut the one in front? Will they ask? Will they notice there's more in the basket around the corner?

That whole let's gang up and call another annoying hit home. My youngest can be off in dreamland sometimes. But socially ganging up is as unacceptable as a child that feeds off if it. It's a mixed bag.

Been noticing at work a child that's been bolting. My youngest used to in that district. Not anymore as in the new district he learned self sooth techniques and feels more comfortable speaking up for himself. Underneath he has older brothers and there's a level of inclusion with brother's older friends. He could just have a complex maturity or viewpoint.

I'm not into teachers pointing such things out to parents. I don't get such nonsense where my kids go to school anymore.