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Newly Joined
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Newyork
Posts: 1
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Jun 01, 2016 at 09:16 PM
#1
Hello, I am new to this site. I am looking for some tecniques and help with coping with my adult daughter who keeps making poor relationship choices. It has been a pattern for the past seven years, this time she is pregnant. Her therapist told her she is like an addict. I find it difficult to listen to her, everything is always a complaint never happy. How do I keep a positive relationship.
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Jun 02, 2016 at 04:36 PM
#2
Hello Twoboystwogirls: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks!
 I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.  I'm afraid I don't have a lot to offer here. From my perspective, your daughter is an adult. She has the right to make her own decisions... even wrong ones. As far as your having difficulty listening to her because she's always complaining goes... you are going to have to establish & enforce some boundaries with her. Decide how much of this you are willing to put up with. Tell her what those limits are. Then, if & when she transgresses them, walk away, hang up the phone, etc. California therapist, Kati Morton, has some videos on her YouTube channel where she talks about establishing boundaries & dealing with difficult people. These might be useful for you to watch. Good luck! 
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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Jun 02, 2016 at 07:37 PM
#3
Agree about learning about boundaries and how to communicate your own needs. If you can work with a therapist or if you already are, have them more intensely focus on techniques.
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 675
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Jun 30, 2016 at 02:04 PM
#4
Is she exactly like you? Well you have to wash your hands of the situation be positive in your conversations as you can then move on knowing you did the best job you could do as her parent in her up bringing. Show her how to be if all you do is whip her with guilty words then who is she going to emulate. I'm a firm believer after some point you have to cut off adults that act like kids with no guidance.. Most people don't share their stuff to have it emulated especially if the bad stuff is shared it is shared to know what not to do to follow the same course isn't not like what they should do. Suggest therapy anyone that is exact opposite of what you taught has some sort of hurt they are hiding that are driving these behaviors.
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Jun 30, 2016 at 02:30 PM
#5
Twoboystwo girls,
Welcome to The PC forums. I feel similar to Sleezyk so I won't repeat comments here. This is a very supportive community - we are glad to have you here. Should you have any questions or concerns, please PM a Community Liasion. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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