10 year old using suicidal phrases

My 10 year old son is starting to go through puberty. He is very emotional and he is what I would consider overdramatic at times. Lately when he gets angry with me or is having a bad day, he will say things like, "I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up," or "I want to kill myself."

He shows no signs of depression and is a generally very healthy and normal kid, but it upsets me that he says these kinds of things. I've tried to explain to him that those are very harsh things to say and it makes me worried when he says them. I don't know whether he just wants to express how upset he is or if he is just using those phrases as a way to get back at me since he feels powerless when he gets in trouble for poor behavior.

I'm just looking for opinions on what you would say to try to stop this behavior, as I don't feel like it's healthy.

hi phonenix
i am going through the same things with my son and he is 9 years old. He used to say things in anger and or when frustrated. he is very sensitive and reacts to everything. he would say " i hate my life", i wished i was never born" or you hate me and yes he did he wanted to kill himself.

i did get in touch with a parenting coach and she talked to him and suggested that when he is upset or angry, grab a pillow, or if his emotions are high, to take some deep breaths.

yes i agree with you that they probably say these things at us too when they get in trouble. i would chalk it up to puberty and growing up.

your not alone.

take care

Thanks Leyla

But how do you know for sure those things are just being said out of anger and frustration?I ask because I used to say those things and I did end up attempting to end my own life.

What I needed at the time was therapy.It's something to consider,it's always better to be safe than sorry.

He doesn't show any other signs of being depressed or unhealthy. He's happy with school, he likes his friends, he gets excited about the activities that he's involved in and tells me he loves me quite often. I really don't think he's suicidal. He only says suicidal things when he gets in trouble and he's mad.

Okay,just trust your gut instinct on this.

Sometimes though,it's easy to hide what's going on inside,and I just wanted to point that out.

Ok thank you I will keep that in mind.

I see you have your location as NY. if this is new york state usa a bit of info here in ny it is very common for 4th, 5th on up through high school to say things like I want to kill myself, someone just kill me already, dont you just want to die and other suicidal/ death phrases. if its not accompanied by any other symptoms then its nothing to worry about, just a slang/ fad/ children expressing their frustration over their homework or friendship problems even their dislike when parents say something the child doesnt like.

periodically here in the USA children and teens change how they talk. watch any documentary from the 70's and you will find lots of words to the effect of dying, getting stoned (drugs) the 80s movies and documentaries are full of the valley girl phrases, the 90's was full of "dont you know" and "bite me" phrases.... the 2000's were full of harry potter phrases and here we are in the next decade where the in thing is suicidal, self injury phrases like I want to kill my self, just die already, someone kill me now and there is even tattoos that represent these phrases that children and teens are getting.

my suggestion is sit down with the child and find out why your child is saying it. kind of like if someone says oh with a swear word a parent would turn around and say why did you say that and where did you hear that one. if the child is actually suicidal have the school psychologist check in with them or take them to a child and family therapist who can work with them.

hi crisapple
i was worried at first too but like phoneix, my son is always telling me how he loves us etc. and he too is happy as well. i think they are just both very sensitive boys and obvioulsy when they get in trouble or don't like what they hear, their first instinct is to react. my son does this at school too. i just have to remind him from time to time to walk away or just find ways to calm himself down.

When he says he wants to kill himself ask him he would like to talk with a therapist. He probably doesn't know that is an option; I didn't when I was his age.

I do agree with offering to have them speak to someone, at the same time I ask, have they had any exposure to any vines or youtube videos?
When I began hearing these expressions in my own home, I was taken aback. These exact same expressions.

I am pretty sure this isn't the case Pho but has he heard you or your husband talk like that? Seems to me he has heard it before, a relative, or friend that he has been around?

I don't think so but it's impossible for me to know what his friends say all the time. I certainly don't use phrases like that because I take suicide seriously and his dad is not overly dramatic.