New mom and losing my hair.

(Ill start by saying I've come such a long way in the last 6 years since my 1st post. Thanks to those who responded!)

I have a baby who just turned 10 weeks old today and I'm a single mother with a very little support system. My support system is comprised mainly of friends and professionals. I don't communicate nor receive help from the baby's father or his family. (This warrants a completely different thread.)

As a new mom I'm about to go nuts. My son is hyperactive. The more I think about it the more I realize I've sorta known this since I had my first ultrasound - the very first thing I saw was his hands and feet squirming. That was somewhere around 9 weeks. The tech said, "you've got a bouncer..." and he couldn't have been more right. I wish I would have prepared for that.

When I say hyperactive, I mean he won't be still. He's constantly all over the place, flailing his arms and legs like he's running in the Olympics. I feel like a jungle gym. Will I ever get used to this feeling?

His moving is not the issue. My problem is that he goes from 0 to 100 in seconds. I feel like he is always angry and always fussy - here's the deal...ONLY WHEN IT PERTAINS TO FEEDING. The rest of the time he's totally chill. Couldn't be a more happy baby.

We've had quite the struggle with feeding. Originally I was BF'ing. Then we had issues with bleeding, cracking and painful nipples that I HAD to take a break. The lactation consultant told me how great his latch was and how it was fine, when it wasn't fine. That was my chance to get it right and boom ... out the window (I didn't know that though..)

Long story short we've since strictly become bottle feeding and had to change his formula about a dozen times. He is also very gassy. If he's anything like me he has a sensitive belly. I give him gripe water and gas drops as needed. I go to great lengths to minimize any excess air bubbles wherever they are.. bottles, etc. I pump his legs. I rub his belly. I burp him way longer than I'd care to. He's not colicky bc he's not crying for 3 hours straight, etc. I think the issue is that his cues confuse me. I've read books and watched videos and it's not helping me the way I thought it would.

He "nehs" when he wants to feed and suck. He feeds when he has gas, comfort feeds, to sleep, hunger, etc. I've made many attempts to soothe him and calm him when he's had, what I think is, plenty to eat. I give him the pacifier. To no avail, he just wants the bottle.

Then there's the spit up. Not the usual spit up here and there, rather the kind you get when it's oozing down the middle of your back from the hair that is drenched from the entire bottle he just spit up. Then he wants something to rinse the taste of spit up from his mouth. Poor guy.

He's also still feeding on demand and I'm desperately wanting him on a schedule because I'm returning to work soon. I can't, nor do I want to be up all night feeding. I would like to relactate...I'm working on that b it haven't started yet.

All in all, I'm exhausted. What am I doing wrong? I can't even feed him now without him screaming. We are both frustrated.

I'm not trying to be the perfect parent, just a good enough one...

Thanks for reading (and sorry for the super long post)...

As a new Mom you are going to feel like you aren't doing a good job, honestly you are! The fact that you are so worried about this is an indication how good a Mom you are.

I'll give you my opinions... make sure you give yourself some 'me' time. Do something just for you. I would lay off the colic drops as they can cause more issues with gas.

Most babies are ready for solids between 4 and 6 months, you haven't long to wait to do that and it might be worth asking your doctor or health professional if you could try this sooner. Fussing while eating can be an indication that he's ready for this.

I also recommend making sure your baby gets enough sleep, a tired baby makes a cranky baby.

Take your baby to the doctor if you feel he is actually in pain to check for any physical cause to this.

Remember to reward yourself with something you enjoy!

Thank you so much for your suggestions; very helpful.

My oldest was the not quite collicky one by that 3 hour rule. I agree with pegasus about asking what more can be given for a chronically hungry child. Or do you have any extended family to ask that? Once I found a way to get him feeling full gradually things got better, sort of. He stopped napping at the age of 2, so there's that. He's 14 now.
He went to daycare until I went on maternity leave when his brother was born. He did fine. He's was about 8-10weeks old.
His cousin wound up on specialty formulas. Has egg allergiels and I think milk or shellfish. He was staying with his cousin those first weeks until official daycare now that I recall. Being just 6 months apart, with those tummy/food/crying ailments it was a bit much. I mention that as other ideas about your baby's tummy struggles.

Just breathe. It's overwhelming at first.

Hello!
I don't have excellent advice to add on top of what's already been said, and I know that's a bit useless, but I just wanted to send you some love and encouragement. Newborns can be SO overwhelming, especially when they won't calm down. Do you have a kangaroo wrap? Sometimes being snuggled close in a wrap can help baby calm down while giving your arms a rest. Always remember to preserve your mental health--if you need to step out for a moment to gather yourself, place baby safely on their back in a pen or playpen and step out of the room for a moment. It sounds counter-intuitive, but crying for a minute isn't going to kill or traumatize him--and it gives you a second to breathe. I'm sorry this is so stressful for you! I hope things get better. ❤

((((hugs))))

Parenting is undoubtedly very stressful, so try to take a few slow deep breaths. Your description does not sound very unusual to me.

You may want to check out this link to a Dr. Sears site, it talks about fussy babies. {My first daughter was fussy & I bought the book.} Hopefully, there is some helpful information for you on the site.

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/he...rns/fussy-baby

Very best wishes to you and your son ~ take care!

Not sure this is great advice, but I did it with my 2nd. She was a projectile vomiter....& constantly hungry!
I opened the nipple a tiny bit with a hot pin & added rice to the formula. I'm sure others will not agree & it's not recommended bec of flow issues & allergies etc etc but when your frustrated you'll try anything...if it works!
For my third I couldn't get him to sleep! My mil told me how she used to swaddle her kids, stick them in a pram & leave them outside. In winter! In Canada! Lol. (She's British)
Well I did it for awhile...I didn't leave him! But the cold & a walk in the stroller helped him sleep longer for a nap...& I raked leaves or other outside stuff.

And my vomiter....I did gas meds for her & it didn't help. The dr said, "you just have a laundry problem!" As long as their gaining weight; that matters.

Hang in there!!! So wish I could actually help you out. Do u have a pump?