[Isee11]

I was wondering if anyone has a child who's experienced ongoing bullying at school and felt like the school didn't handle the situation well. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[healingme4me]

I'm a little curious to see responses to this, as well. I do have 1 son that experienced bullying. At the same time, he's on an iep and everyone jumped into action. The entire class ended up with a course from an on site social worker. That lasted for several weeks. I forget the exact name of the book that it was pulled from as far as inspiration to the topic. This son gets on site support from that department. With an iep, that's legal territory. That was last school year. He's doing well now and I can here in some in home retorts to his brothers that the services have broken through for him.

On the other hand, I find bullying these days transcends what schools can do care of social media platforms and outside school walls scenarios. Which ties into my oldest.

I'm still piecing together what drove him to claim he didn't feel safe in his new school surroundings that wound up with an honor student in pure school refusal mode. He's not on an iep. Nor does he have a 504 plan. Why would he have? I don't find that there was any proactive plan in place for his most vulnerable age/grade bracket. And with him being tight lipped-it's a great unknown. I ended up submitting this weekend his enrollment packet to a school that can accommodate him/this. But finding them was like pulling teeth.

[divine1966]

My niece was bullied badly in the middle school and my brother ended up taking her to a different school, switching schools. School did nothing to end bullying. My brother tried everything, they just wouldn’t interfere. And mind you it’s a very good school district and one of the most well off neighborhoods in my state. Still nothing was done. Shame. Luckily my niece did well in a new middle school and now is doing well in high school. But she was so stressed when she was bullied, she developed nervous tuck and stomach issues!!!

I was a child was bullied to the extreme. I was hit upside the back of my head multiple times daily teasing me for my short hair. I was the tiny nerd locked inside lockers and dropped into garbage cans. I was the student whose hand was held up next to the rotating saws and grinders in shop class. Incidentally my parents did nothing about it. I was told to suck it up. I was told to fight back. I was even told I was a humiliation by my mother. Why can't I be like the other kids. Incidentally, all of this happened before the eyes of teachers and nothing was done to help.

But this is a different world. teachers are expected to help and as a parent I would demand it.

So demand to see the anti-harrassment and anti-bullying policies for both the school and the school board. See for yourself if they are living up to these standards and following the courses of action outlined. If not you have several actions. Go to the school board and demand corrective action be taken. If they are of no help, go to your politicians. Start with your elected school trustee. They won't help? Go to the chairman of the board. Still no help? See your local alderman or council member. Go higher still if you have to right to your legislative member (in Canada for instance this would be an MLA). Still no answers - go to the media.

I say fight with all you have.

I am a product of the bullying I endured. I am not a functioning member of society on account of bullying. I am unable to work. fight Fight FIGHT all the way until you get results!

[Mightymax]

I think if the bullying is bad and the teachers are no good.Best thing to do you take your child out of that school for them to never deal with any of those people again.

Originally Posted by Mightymax

I think if the bullying is bad and the teachers are no good.Best thing to do you take your child out of that school for them to never deal with any of those people again.

I completely disagree! As long as you don't stand your ground the bullies have won. You are giving this message to the child being bullied too. You are telling them to give up. The bullies continue to bully unchecked. These are the monsters that grow up to be bullies and have disrespect for those around them - including their spouses. instead, the message must be given that such behaviour is unacceptable and that they will be held accountable for it - their parents too.

[Mightymax]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I completely disagree! As long as you don't stand your ground the bullies have won. You are giving this message to the child being bullied too. You are telling them to give up. The bullies continue to bully unchecked. These are the monsters that grow up to be bullies and have disrespect for those around them - including their spouses. instead, the message must be given that such behaviour is unacceptable and that they will be held accountable for it - their parents too.

Its great to beat the hell out of a bully if you just absolutely had enough I argeed.Schools have no tolerance for fighting they don't care who started they will just expel or suspend both students.If you got lots of bullies and even the teachers bully you then that place really is done for and best to leave.Just can't beat them all up.Some people will think that murdering bullies in times of extreme bullying is justifiable but in the end the victim must go to jail.I know a parent with a child wants to be able to beat their child's bully up but knows what happens if they assault a minor.Speaking up about bullying is a great thing but bullies don't seem to stop with someone telling them to stop.The school should be notified but with teachers that don't really care its unlikely to change.

Did you read my two posts Mightymax? Where did I ever suggest physical measures. And yes, while not all teachers are prepared to do anything in my first post I gave plenty of avenues to address this very problem.

[Mightymax]

I know you don't condone violence I was just discussing all the outcomes of bullying.Many years ago in one of my grade school classes I was the victim of about seven bullies both physical and verbal and also some teachers being verbally abusive.Though my mom did bring this to the attention of the school it change nothing.I then told my mom I hate this place and never want to see these people again please get me out of there.She did and it was much better to be away from them.I remember back in the 1990's no one seem to give a damn on the issue of bullying.Nowadays I see many anti-bullying organizations but still the problem remains a severe problem.I think its great to try to change things by informing people but if it don't work then just change schools.

I made a suggestion to demand to see the Anti-Harassment definition(s) and policies for both the school and the school board. This gives opportunity not only to see the dictates of what should be followed but if in fact the school is following their own procedures as put in place. I think once this has been exhausted that is the time to consider a withdrawal and the seeking of a fresh start.

[Mightymax]

I definitely support all your efforts Justafriend306 you really try to make things right.This had me thinking of some kid I closely knew him and his family.He was in high school about 10 years ago he got bullied but was a tough kid and fought his bullies back rightfully so.The problem was these bullies where the type of street gangster kind.They followed him home and ordered an older man to hit him in the head with brass knuckles.He was knock unconscious and stood about two weeks in the hospital with facial injuries he pulled through and was okay.Being the vicious nature of these kids being gangster like the family where to scared to tell police or alert the school thinking they might kill him.He never went to that school again.In the U.S.A these type of gangster kids is common and often make trouble to others.His poor family was like helpless to defend him with bullies this dangerous.

Pretty extreme case. Very upsetting.

The reason bullying is so often swept under the carpet at our schools is in a great part that the teachers and staff are at a loss of how to deal with it. I really don't think that teachers out right choose to ignore the problem. I believe it is a case of either being unaware of the resources and procedures they have to follow, or not having their own support to do so. This is why I think it so important to actually see these procedures and policies. Are they in fact being followed. If not, why not?! By all means, if you as a parent get no answers from this then get your child out of there - but what if there is no option to do so?

[JonathanOjeda]

I agree with, Justafriend306, you should check once this will really help you get out of the situation.

[dlantern]

I'd get clever making sure cameras and voice recorders aren't needed for school bullying.