Should I be worried.

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 11, 2017 at 10:43 PM

Rhona got a letter sent home to give to me from her teacher and when I opened it I got a shock and was quite sad because it more or less said that she is the only one in her class that won't do certain things that most kids her age can do.

These tasks are: Tying shoelaces and putting on and zipping her jacket and then putting her bag over her shoulder on her own

.

I know that she can do all of these tasks herself because I taught her them myself, she likes when others do them for her, especially tying shoelaces and zipping her jacket up plus she always wants to hold my hand whilst we are outside walking anywhere.

So, should I be worried?

Victoria'smom · Dec 11, 2017 at 11:49 PM

How's her handwriting? is that on level? You're talking about fine motor skills. She may qualify for occupational therapy. I wouldn't stress it but you should address it.

Patagonia · Dec 12, 2017 at 10:00 AM

I agree w/OT. My DS had it for a yr to help with handwriting & it really helped.
My question is:
Why was the letter written in the first place?
Are these issues causing a disturbance in the classroom?
Were there any suggestions made by the teacher?
Or is this just a nuisance problem for the teacher? Because you said she “won’t” do it....not “can’t” do it.
What is the teacher really saying here.
Is she just too busy to do these things, like she’d rather go & play instead of tying her shoes?

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 12, 2017 at 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I agree w/OT. My DS had it for a yr to help with handwriting & it really helped.
My question is:
Why was the letter written in the first place?
Are these issues causing a disturbance in the classroom?
Were there any suggestions made by the teacher?
Or is this just a nuisance problem for the teacher? Because you said she “won’t” do it....not “can’t” do it.
What is the teacher really saying here.
Is she just too busy to do these things, like she’d rather go & play instead of tying her shoes?

I am not sure why it was written but I do think the teacher is just fed up of having to tie her shoelaces and zip her jacket every single day, eh, no suggestions at all, just a strongly worded letter asking me to help them out so I am lost as to what I can do

.

In reply to the first reply, her handwriting is good plus I know its not any issues with fine motor skills because I have had that checked out already.

Patagonia · 02:22 PM

Ohhh. I’d have issues with the teacher then! If there were no suggestions as what you can do, because your Dd does have the skills to do these things, id maybe ask the teacher if the principal had some suggestions!
Maybe have a sit down with them. To me...this is subtle bullying!
If there’s no academic reason for the letter to be written I’d be pissed!
Very passive aggressive behavior on the part of the teacher!

healingme4me · Dec 15, 2017 at 06:22 AM

How's her academics? Is she at grade level with writing? Any struggles with pronunciation of words? Two of my sons have had occupational therapy. One has placed out of services, one still remains.
A letter like that without solutions and a gameplan is truly troubling.

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 16, 2017 at 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

How's her academics? Is she at grade level with writing? Any struggles with pronunciation of words? Two of my sons have had occupational therapy. One has placed out of services, one still remains.
A letter like that without solutions and a gameplan is truly troubling.

Everything at school is good, she is a neat hand writer and her pronunciation is good too, in fact, very subject at school she has positive reports for, only issue is this zipping one.

healingme4me · Dec 17, 2017 at 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scottish Caitlyn

Everything at school is good, she is a neat hand writer and her pronunciation is good too, in fact, very subject at school she has positive reports for, only issue is this zipping one.

So now you have this teacher sending home letters about not tying her shoes, as a 7yr old, when they come untied in school and because now she's not zippering when they send them outside at reccess when it's so cold that zippering actually matters?

healingme4me · Dec 17, 2017 at 11:16 AM

Should you be worried? Yes, you should be worried that your daughter has a teacher that has that much time to fret and nitpick over what's normal 7 year old behavior.

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 17, 2017 at 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Should you be worried? Yes, you should be worried that your daughter has a teacher that has that much time to fret and nitpick over what's normal 7 year old behavior.

So much that he zips it up himself.

Carmina · Dec 17, 2017 at 07:22 PM

She appears to have the skills so doesn't need an OT

Seems to me these are all expressions of love and care, maybe the issue is she is not feeling those things at school so needs the teacher to perform acts that remind her of being mothered. If so it may help for her to have something that she can carry that reminds her of home and helps her internalise that relationship.

I don't think this is something to worry about though, children need to learn how to become independent beings less emotionally dependent on their parents but do so in different ways. The real problem is the teacher expecting children to be one size/path fits all.

healingme4me · Dec 17, 2017 at 09:23 PM

Around here there are temp limits as to when it's safe and not safe for kids to go outside. And didn't you once write that even her friends struggle with zippers?

Where are the teachers aides? Paralegals? Recess/lunch monitors?

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 17, 2017 at 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Around here there are temp limits as to when it's safe and not safe for kids to go outside. And didn't you once write that even her friends struggle with zippers?

Where are the teachers aides? Paralegals? Recess/lunch monitors?

I amm confused by your last question but can answer your first, No all of her friends can zip, they will sometimes do Rhona's but more often than not, its her teacher that zips it.

Here, they get out in any temperature as long as suitably dressed, mainly at break and lunchtime though, recess they only go out in sumertime.

healingme4me · Dec 20, 2017 at 07:02 PM

If the windchill creates below zero effects, the kids stay inside for recess and lunch breaks. The district where I work has support staffing for the younger kids. Even my sons' district does. I have had days where they've come home with shoes untied, not many, but enough to stand out in my mind. Even when double knotted. Not just my son that has occupational therapy.
I'm actually angry for you with this teacher's knitpicking, to be honest. Instead of calling you in for a conference or making a phone call, he has sent home a note? It's this hanging your daughter's 'hangup' over you as though it defines you a total parent that's unnerving. She's 7. She'll outgrow this.

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 20, 2017 at 10:52 PM

Shoes untied is a norm with Rhona, she just tucks them in her shoes but I do tie them just in case she trips.

healingme4me · Dec 21, 2017 at 04:51 PM

We all have our quirks. Just tell the teacher that Rhona has an aversion to zippers and ask him what his suggestion is to that.

LikeABoomerang · Dec 22, 2017 at 12:29 AM

Honestly sounds like the teacher is just the uptight type. I personally would worry to much. Seems like normal behaviour to me. My almost 13yr old son still wont tie his shoes or always properly dress for the weather (living in Canada, its often very cold). Not that he doesn't know how. Its just that he cant be bothered and chooses not to. Honestly I used to fight all the time with him about it when he was younger. Now I pick my battles and its just not one I choose to fight with him over. The way I see it, he'll either grow out of it, or learn the hard way (frost bite, etc). Ask the teacher what he suggests you do about it, but I wouldn't stress over it.

Scottish Caitlyn · Dec 29, 2017 at 07:27 PM

At least its the school holidays and I don't have to worry about this but I did calmly talk with Rhona to find out her reasons for not obeying the teacher and all she said was, the teacher is obsessed with us all zipping up so that our uniforms don't get dirty or soaked.

Is that a valid reason from teacher would you say?

Patagonia · Jan 02, 2018 at 10:50 AM

No. IMHO this is not a valid reason to single your child out from every other child, to point out a so called “flaw” that the teacher can’t handle, or has decided not to, in a letter that has no educational basis.
Did you actually talk to this teacher?? Other aides in the classroom? The principal of the building? You’ve lost a great deal of power in this situation by waiting if you didn’t. It also shows subconsciously to your DD that it’s her fault, her issue & she’s not conforming.
Are you advocating for your daughter & does she SEE this.

healingme4me · Jan 02, 2018 at 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scottish Caitlyn

At least its the school holidays and I don't have to worry about this but I did calmly talk with Rhona to find out her reasons for not obeying the teacher and all she said was, the teacher is obsessed with us all zipping up so that our uniforms don't get dirty or soaked.

Is that a valid reason from teacher would you say?

Not valid for how a letter was sent home. Not a valid reason for leaving you so very stressed. Not a valid reason for creating a power struggle between you and your daughter.

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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,318 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,638 hugs given	Dec 11, 2017 at 11:49 PM #2 How's her handwriting? is that on level? You're talking about fine motor skills. She may qualify for occupational therapy. I wouldn't stress it but you should address it. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Dec 15, 2017 at 06:22 AM #6 How's her academics? Is she at grade level with writing? Any struggles with pronunciation of words? Two of my sons have had occupational therapy. One has placed out of services, one still remains. A letter like that without solutions and a gameplan is truly troubling.
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Dec 17, 2017 at 11:16 AM #9 Should you be worried? Yes, you should be worried that your daughter has a teacher that has that much time to fret and nitpick over what's normal 7 year old behavior.
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Dec 17, 2017 at 09:23 PM #12 Around here there are temp limits as to when it's safe and not safe for kids to go outside. And didn't you once write that even her friends struggle with zippers? Where are the teachers aides? Paralegals? Recess/lunch monitors?
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Scottish Caitlyn Junior Member Member Since Nov 2017 Location: Elgin Posts: 22 7 2 hugs given	Dec 20, 2017 at 10:52 PM #15 Shoes untied is a norm with Rhona, she just tucks them in her shoes but I do tie them just in case she trips.
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Dec 21, 2017 at 04:51 PM #16 We all have our quirks. Just tell the teacher that Rhona has an aversion to zippers and ask him what his suggestion is to that.
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Scottish Caitlyn Junior Member Member Since Nov 2017 Location: Elgin Posts: 22 7 2 hugs given	Dec 29, 2017 at 07:27 PM #18 At least its the school holidays and I don't have to worry about this but I did calmly talk with Rhona to find out her reasons for not obeying the teacher and all she said was, the teacher is obsessed with us all zipping up so that our uniforms don't get dirty or soaked. Is that a valid reason from teacher would you say?
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