[InMyEyes]

My ex and I share custody of our son.
My question: "is it wrong to wait until the week of his next visit to tell him his new sibling arrived there?" He's got a heart of gold and is very caring. I know would like to see his new sibling but it will not be until the next visit which is 2 wks away. I feel like withholding telling him would be better for him emotionally since he cannot be there.

[healingme4me]

How old is your son? Congratulations on your new arrival! And it's probably better to share. Can you text/email pictures and say that the baby cannot wait to meet him, on such and such a date?

[emgreen]

Congratulations on the new addition! I kind of agree with healingme4me. The decision is up to you, however. I think it might also depend on the age of your son, though. Good luck!

[InMyEyes]

My son is 6. The newborn is going to be his half-sister technically as the father is not me but his mother's new husband.

[healingme4me]

I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.

[InMyEyes]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.

I had prepared the following a week or so ago. I just now saw it didnt post. At any rate, his mom ended up agreeing to wait and that i tell him as they pull up at the meeting spot; unless he asks, which he never did. Hers the paet that didnt make it before:
Thank you for the advice. Its kinda a bummer because i totally get what you are saying but then i think, "if i tell him sooner than later, he'll feel left out then as well because he will not be able to be there (at least not until the first wknd in feb)." He told me himself back at the first of the month when he came back that it could be any day now." The thing is we stay busy and are close, so he doesnt ask about anything in that regard, outside of "our" life.

[healingme4me]

You can only do what you can on your end. It really is up to his mom to be inclusive if she so desires. Naturally, he cannot be there for the big event. But it's up to her really as to how that future is shaped.

[LikeABoomerang]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I think it's still better to tell closer to the date of birth than delayed. Even at 6. He must know there's a due date? I'm envisioning more of a feeling of being left out of the loop regardless of the fact the visitation is a couple of weeks out.

I agree with this. He'd probably be more hurt if he wasn't told sooner. He might be bummed he couldn't see the baby right away, but he'll get over that pretty quick I'd think. He can still see pictures and maybe do video chat if possible. If you don't tell him and his feelings are hurt, that might be a little tougher to get over.