[pinkvilla]

My kid who is in middle school wants to hang out with some high schoolers in our community.He only has one or two other middle schoolers who are not generally included in this high school group. Nothing seems out of ordinary in their behavior. Should I let him hang out with high schoolers? I am so confused.

[healingme4me]

Do you know any of the parents? I'd err on the side of caution with such an age difference, personally. At the same time, it might depend on the circumstances. For instance my oldest's circle has an age difference of about 2 years, with him being the youngest. It includes his cousins and their friends. So in 8th grade he was surrounded by 8th, 9th and 10th graders. All parents know each other, though. And tabs on these kids is certainly occurring.

[Artchic528]

My kid brother used to hang out with an older crowd. He wound up becoming quite rebellious during this time and sneaked out of the house often, not returning for days at a time. He picked up cigarette addiction, drinking, and who knew what else. My parents had him tested once or twice for illegal drug usage, because he wouldn't really be to open to communication during this time.

Not saying this is what's happening to your son, but I'd be weary all the same.

[pinkvilla]

I am thankful for replies.I want to restrict the interactions but can't seem to come up with a reasonable excuse.I don't want to seem like an overprotective parent. What could I say which will not offend the other older kids ?? They live in the same community.

I air on the side of caution. My stepson was allowed by his father to 'hang' with older kids. This was bad news. I won't go into the details but the last I saw of him was when I had the police remove him.

My first instinct is to ask, what is in it for these older kids to pay attention to the younger? This is a good indication a problem exists whereby they have difficulty getting on with peers their own age. Try then to observe these other youth. Who else do they have in their inner circle and what sorts of youngsters are they. A significantly older youth befriending a younger child often indicates the older is struggling. If so why? Again, observe, observe, observe.

I wasn't able to act on my concerns. If you can, act upon your own.

[Wild Coyote]

When I was in middle school, my 5 closest friends were seniors in high school.
We did not party. We were all then committed to very clean, responsible lifestyles with some gatherings involving adult chaperones. We weren't getting into trouble. I'd simply related best to older friends at the time.


WC