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Member Since Jul 2019
Location: California
Posts: 81
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#1
Hello, I have posted about my impending divorce in another forum. I come here seeking advice concerning my daughter.
A little background. I had the opportunity to see the impact of divorce on a child, when I married my current wife. She has a son from a previous marriage. Her ex left her when the child was only a year old. I witnessed the child screaming and bawling, due to the fact that the visitation was split 50/50. The kid never wanted to leave his mother's arms and I felt bad for him, since I think he never developed a sense of home. Watching all of this, has led me to wonder if I should grant more visitation to my wife, soon to be ex, for my daughter. My daughter is 6 and I don't want to put her through the emotional turmoil that I saw my stepson go through. I am thinking of just trying to do weekends or something like that. It was gut wrenching to watch my stepson bawl because he didn't want to leave mommy. I know it will cost me more in child support, but I will try to do anything for my daughter's sanity. Another important question, is what should I do when my daughter screams during an exchange? Should I let her go back home with mommy? I just don't want to put my daughter through that turmoil. --sarc |
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Skeezyks
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#2
Are you getting full custody or is it split? Is your wife a good mom? Will she bad mouth you to your daughter?
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: California
Posts: 81
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#3
Sarahsweets,
Custody/Visitation hasn't been determined yet. We are still in the beginning stages of divorce. Actually, we haven't even filed yet, since we are trying to list our home for sale. My soon to be ex offered me a 60/40 split. I will get every other extended weekends (Fri-Mon) during school year, and then every other week during Summer. She is willing for 100% joint legal. Watching her with my stepson, I don't have any doubts that she will try to alienate me. I guess I might have been one of the lucky ones. She is a great mother. Thanks for responding! |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#4
Unfortunately I don't think I have any sage advice to offer with regard to this. However here are links to 7 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of co-parenting following divorce:
What is Co-Parenting? | The Exhausted Woman 10 Essentials of Co-Parenting After a Divorce | The Exhausted Woman How to Co-Parent Successfully after Divorce Co-Parenting with Shared Custody May Put Less Stress on Kids Cooperative Co-Parenting for the Divorced https://psychcentral.com/lib/making-...dium=popular17 https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...-difficult-ex/ __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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