Best time to try

Here's my situation,

my wife and I live in a tiny one bedroom, basement apartment. Our bills equal to around $2k a month. Which include food, gas, prescriptions, etc... I work full time making only $28k a year. My wife makes only $17k a year. She thinks we are ready to start trying for a baby, i'm not convinced. I just think that looking at our finances we simply cannot afford it. Just our current expenses is almost my entire gross yearly income. Especially with cost of living going up but pay rates not.

I love my wife and love to make her happy, but this is something I need tips on how to discuss my concerns with her. She is always saying then "let's compromise". But I don't think there is a compromise. You either have a baby or don't. The only thing I can really offer her is to say let's wait six months and see where we are at financially before we start tossing around the idea again.

But there's a problem, her family. They have a differently philosophy and keep whispering in her ear. My observations are they believe when your body says have a baby, then have a baby regardless of the situation.

Now my wife has two sisters and one brother. Both her sisters have followed this family philosophy. One lives at home with her parents with a adorable 2 year old. The other was living at home with a 4 year old, but has now since estranged herself. From what I gather her two sisters are in constant financial hardship and their relationships with the fathers are unstable at best. I have repeatedly used her sisters as a example of what poor family planning can do. But it just goes through one ear and out the other.

So please help me, I need a struggling parents perspective, woman's perspective, or something.

Hi Stuck1nhead.

Wish I had some brilliant insight, but I am unable to come up with anything. Do you think couples counseling might be of some help? So sorry I could not be helpful. The situation you describe must be very stressful.

- Yaowen

Am I correct in understanding that the combined income is 45,000$ a year? What do you two make in a month? Kids are expensive.

Can either of you get more training so higher paying jobs are possible?

Have you asked her what the plan would be once the baby arrives ? .. will she want to stay at home full time ?? Or cut her hours way down? At her income it’s often a question of are you just working to afford childcare ?

Does her sisters with babies work at all? Who watches there child ?

Will you be able to cover all the bills ? All the things a baby will need? Diapers ?? (My daughter is 29 ) I walked past then in the store and about fell over seeing the price ! Is she isn’t able or doesn’t want to breast feed formula is outrageous..

Maybe consider rescuing puppy or dog from the spca or local animal pound, they require food and vet visits for shots, some toys and treats but unless something major happened are much more affordable than a baby.

A friend had baby fever, financially they just owed to much credit debt, they made a plan to have it paid off in a couple years then revisit the “ let’s have a baby talk”

They did get a rescue dog and now 3
years later they have a beautiful child and a dog that adores her.

I know some people just think “ oh we will find the money for a baby needs” sure sometimes that might work but often its disaster the constant stress worry and lack of money has caused many couples to divorce.