Visiting child in jail

My child is in jail for something involving underage children. I am so hurt about the situation and never saw it coming. I don't want to visit but feel as a parent I should. What should I do?

Hello imdoneone: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry I don't think I can really be of much help regarding your dilemma. Hopefully there will be other PC members who will have some thoughts, & perhaps advice, they can share.

One thing you didn't mention, that I think may be relevant, is your son's (?) age. (I'm going to assume this is a son we're talking about.) If he is young himself, then I would be inclined to say definitely visit. But if he is an adult now himself, & depending on what your relationship with him has been over the years, then I think whether or not you should visit becomes more complicated & depends on a number of different factors including how the two of you have gotten along prior to this incident & how much (if any) other types of trouble your son has gotten into over the years.

The fact is we all (or at least many of us) get into trouble of one kind or another at some point in our lives... obviously some worse than others. And I think it's important for family members especially not to abandon us during trying times. But, on the other hand, if a person just keeps going from one problematic situation to another, & shows no sign of being willing to change, then there does come a point where others (family members & perhaps friends) have to put their own needs first. This is what is referred to as "personal boundaries".

So anyway... these are my off-the-cuff thoughts with regard to your post. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hi, imdoneone, and welcome to Psych Central! I think if it were my child I'd go to see what he says.