20 yr old daughter

Hello my 20 yr old daughter is telling all. Kinds of people that she was physically and mentally abused as a child and she never got to do anything . She's telling people that her step father that has raised her her entire life is a crack head she told a friend of mine that she didn't know was friends with me that I had corona and her grandmother had died.
My daughter was never abused mentally of physically when she was a child.
Her step father never hit her (she's accusing him of physical abuse. ) except for one time when she turned 18
We had bought her a car for graduation and she had told us to stick it up our *** (she wanted a pick up) she graduated at 17 was breaking curfew sneaking out we take her to work she would leave work go to her bf.or her friends house. Any way after telling us to stick the car up are butt she came back and wanted the car and my husband and I desided that we would sell her the car for 600 way less then what we paid for it and she could make payments she paid 330 on it and wanted to take it home and continue to make payments on it we told her that was fine but she had to wait till Friday when she could plate it and that wendsday when my husband got paid he would put her on our insurance because of how expensive it was and she could plate it with her check and take it home. That wasn't good enough she said he was calling me names and she was defending me but I was standing right there she swung on my husband the only father she's ever known he pushed her away she swung on him again and hit him in his face knocked his glasses off and just as a reaction he hit her back his wedding ring closed her lip so she needed stitches first time ever in her life she has been hit.
(all the money she paid toward the car her dad bought a emergency road kit for her jumper cables a floor jack plus more he wanted her to be safe) so know she's going around telling everyone she was physically abused as a kid.
She also says because I didn't leave him I was mentally abusive. She said she never got to do anything as a kid and when I point out to her all the sports she was In ex color guard winter guard dance volly ball marching band concert band choir etc and got to go to the campground with her friends every other Weekend she says that is normal. (but still thinks she didn't get to do anything).she states her biological father would have been a better dad than my husband she's mad cause she's never met her biological father he wanted her aborted and then cutt off her child support at 17 that he only started paying when she turned 10 so he wouldn't have to help her pay for college. (which my husband and I signed our lives away Co signing on her student loans) she started dating this boy 2 months before she graduated in 2018 and has watched this boy's mother and step father (he doesn't want anything to do with his bio dad )hand him what ever him and his brother wanted his mom remarried into money and handed my daughters boyfriend a house at 18 yrs old last year when he turned 19 he wanted a pick up but not a used one they bought him a 2019 pick up and handed it over to him this year he wanted a bass boat and yep you guest it mom and his step dad bought him a bass boat. My daughter just recently moved in with him and has watched him get handed everything to where my children have to work for what they want (we have 7 kids the oldest boy is not either one of ours but my husband's oldest biological sons half brother same mom my husband had raised him from 3 months old he was 6 when my husband and I started dating then my daughter was 4 and his bio son was 4 I had a 1 yr old daughter and he had a 1 yr old son and I had a 1 week old daughter then we had a son together )
I know my daughter is mad that her biological father refuses to be in her life and there is nothing I can do about it I have given her his last known address and contact. Anyway we can't afford to hand her all that stuff so now she's telling people that I mentally abusive and she's calling me all kinds of nasty names and telling me she hates me and never wants to see me again
Saying my husband is physically abusive and telling people he's a Meth head (my husband weighs 120 pounds soak and wet he has chrones disease and had to have 4 and half feet of his small intestine removed) and when I tell her she needs to stop telling people things that are not true she continues to call me names and say I am a bad mother and she will not come around unless I leave him
Besides myself with her behavior to where it's making me sick to my stomach it's a every day battle she thinks we tell stories to her sisters and brother about her and the only thing I tell them is she probably got busy with home work or work. When she blows them off but the 4 kids left at home my 15 yr old daughter my 17 yr old daughter and my 17 ur. Old step son all have facebook and instagram and see her pictures or her post about going out with her friends when she promised to hang out with them. She's been out of the house two yrs now and her bf won't let her come over and her bf mom don't like her coming over here because of everything she has lied about and this comes from one of her friends that she stopped hanging out with because her bf didn't like her.

Hi Roseblades. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are having to face the erroneous charges of your daughter.

But it sounds like arguing with her is not productive. Have you considered asking her "What specific examples of abuse are you thinking of when you tell people you had an abusive childhood?" Maybe you would get nothing concrete but validating her feelings could be a better strategy.

This article may be of interest How Narcissists Blame and Accuse Others for Their Own Shortcomings

As long as someone is playing the Blame Game, I do not think they are taking responsibility for their words and actions.

Have you offered them the option of getting professional mental health support?