Eighteen year old son

When my son was two, he went through a lot of changes. They say there are five major life experiences that will change your life (1) a death (2) moving into/out of a home (3) a birth (4) divorce (separation) and (5) marriage. Well when my son was two, his sister was born, me and his father broke up and were now living in two separate households. On top of his terrible twos, and being potty trained. He went through almost every major life changing experiences. He ended up with separation anxiety, and attention deficit disorder. He began therapy when he was in second grade because of his behavior at school.

Then when he was four, his father was shot, and since he needed time to recover, they didn't get to see him so they thought he was dead. But when he turned ten, his father was deported, and three years later he stopped communicating with anyone. So since 2016, he is what people consider dead. So my son went through a lot of emotional obstacles. Also, when he was ten, my family called cps on me, and he blamed himself for them "taking him and his sister" from me. I tried as best I could to reassure him that nothing he did was ever his fault or anything that happened was his fault.

At fifteen, he ended up a group home which he would constantly ran away from, and eventually lost ties to all of my family. During the time, I was in an abusive relationship where he would stalk me and threaten to find my children of I ever left. I felt that for the safety of my children it was better I stayed away from them. Then in 2017, my ex finally decided to leave me alone and so I began to try and be a part of my son's life. However, he had his own agenda and my parents didn't tell me too much about what was really going on. For a year, not even my parents knew his whereabouts. When I was finally trying to get myself together after six years of abuse, my son still did not trust me, and I understood.

The beginning of 2018, he was arrested for grand theft auto and breaking and entering, charges brought in by my parents. I told him I'd go with him to his first court date, but as I mentioned before, he did not trust me. So for a year, I was more involved in his life. I made sure not to change my number or lose my phone (which my ex used to do) so that whenever he called I would answer. He will be nineteen in May now and it has been a rough two to three years for both of us, but he is coming aroung because I want more than anything for him to trust me again which is going pretty well. When he used to visit or call every few weeks now he comes over two three times a week if not he calls me to check in.

However, now he has said something that I wish I could believe because he is my son. He believes that God talks to him. He believe his answers are coming through God himself. And I say, why not? I know God answers prayers - he hasn't directly answered me - but I have seen things happen after I had prayed for his help. For example, while I was with my ex, I could say I was homeless as well. He would kick me out and if I went home, he'd do drastic things to make me want to come out I'd avoid my family from seeing the things he would do. At the same time I got pregnant and all I could do was pray for my baby to come out healthy. I didn't go to regular doctor visits, nor took prenatal care, and I almost had a miscarriage or at least I thought, but I prayed with all of my heart that my baby came out healthy and "normal" not disabled or deformed.

It may sound mean, but with out prenatal care, and a doctor for guidance it was a huge risk being homeless and preganant. When my baby was born the doctor checked her before looking at her chart and congratulated me on having a healthy baby. I didn't get a forward answer from God, but that proved to be that my prayers were answered. So how do I tell my son that it isn't possible for God to directly be talking to him?

There is a difference between a person's faith guiding them in their lives and that prayers are heard and answered, and outright believing God literally is speaking to you. I'm not sure which one you are saying is happening with your son.

If you believe what he is experiencing is a delusion or hallucination, perhaps you can persuade him to see a therapist or psychiatrist who can evaluate him and help him get the help he needs. If these are delusions or hallucinations (which is what you seem to be saying), you probably won't be able to convince him of that which is the nature of his condition.

I think it is possible for God to be directly talking to your son. God has talked to me on several occasions.

I wonder what God does sound like? if He is all-knowing, then I guess He would know how to appear to you so you'd listen. Then again, any creep with an agenda could do that too. Not saying not to accept guidance you believe in from whomever, but how could you really know you're talking to -the one and only- God. Even Santa has helpers.

I am not 100% sure, but I think that I had one dream where God spoke to me. It was full of symbolism. I did not hear his voice but I felt no fear and it was very colorful and vibrant; I felt alert and calm despite things in the dream being very scary in nature. I woke up with absolutely no anxiety and feeling happy and hopeful. When I read the scriptures, I do not hear a voice but it does trigger many thoughts that I assume are from God. So I do think that God speaks to me in many ways and because of this, I would never assume that a claim by others that God has spoken to them is false. Though I believe God is love and light so if it was him, the message would comfort us, encourage us. It could also warn or rebuke us, but if it did, IMO it would do so in a gentle manner. God can help us overcome our emotional obstacles. So I hope that he is hearing from God.

I will say a prayer for you and your son. You have both been through a lot.

You don't and it's none of your business. He's an adult and can believe whatever he'd like. Be supportive or just listen to what he has to say.

I agree with this but I'd put this idea on the back burner for now. He's coming around, yes, but he doesn't quite trust you entirely. At this stage of your repairment, you'll run the risk of damaging this relationship further if you judge him by this assumption without other concrete observations.. and even then, you may not be that person to tell him just yet.

Rebuild trust first.

We talked about getting him a therapist, but his life (if one could call it that) is more important right now (his words not mine). I offered to go with him, and I would get one too, but.... How easily he used the pandemic as a valid excuse. Thank you for your reply. I hope we do get to someone soon. I appreciate the support.

Because he is my son, I want to have is back so if he truly believes that, who am I to judge. The real issue really, is my family and society. It's difficult. Thank you for your support.

I appreciate the humor. The only reason I am really having difficulty with this is because it not "normal" behavior. Which is funny because here I am on a psychology forum. How much normal am I than him? So it's really the reaction people get to what he is saying. I say "why not? Why wouldn't God talk to my son? Is he not worthy to be able to hear and talk to him, but with societies norms - this is why mental health is extremely important. Thank you for your support.

Thank you. Your words are very encouraging because it is how we interpret our own vision (day dreams) and dreams. As a mother, I am going to listen to him to see what he says. And you are so right, as long there is no pain inflicted than I will continue to listen. I truly am grateful for your support.