kids and phones

katheryn · Mar 08, 2008 at 03:02 PM

my daughter has her own mobile
but my problem is she keeps phoning her boyfriend on the house phone
which is ok if she phones his house phone week days after six for no more than 59 mins as we get these calls free and weekends for 59 mins
to stop her phoning with out our permission we set up a code that we need to put in phone so we can phone out

but today i have looked online at the bill and noticed she is still phoning his mobile and this runs the bill up, we are still paying last bill this one is due soon
any ideas were to go from here

Perna · Mar 08, 2008 at 05:42 PM

Call the phone company and put a block on calls to his number.

kids and phones

From BT's site: http://www.productsandservices.bt.com/consumerProducts

katheryn · Mar 08, 2008 at 07:26 PM

wow i never knew they did that i will contact bt in morning or mon

happyflowergirl · Mar 09, 2008 at 12:32 AM

How old is your daughter? I would take the phone away and have her work off her debts (her phone bill) until the debts are paid for..
Having a phone is a responsiblity and a great privilege, if she can't be responsible with it, goes against your wishes to call when she is suppose to so it is free, she isn't mature enough to have the phone.

You gotta set the rules and follow through with the consequences, she needs boundaries set, and needs to follow through. She ran up the bill, let her work it off or pay you for the charges.

wisewoman · Mar 09, 2008 at 12:55 AM

I like what Perna said. My son and nephew made a $700 phone bill and i stopped long distance and still don't have it. I use a calling card. Man those kids and phones!

BalishBun · Mar 09, 2008 at 02:43 AM

Lay down the law I say. Be stern with whatever convo you have with her.

silver_queen · Mar 09, 2008 at 07:36 AM

Katheryn I don't know how old your daughter is... but assuming she is a young teenager...

I would use both of those options. I'd tell her that those phone calls were unacceptable because they were too expensive and she knows when they can be phoned for free, so I'd make her pay for those calls (if possible) ... and then I'd tell her that if it happened again not only would she have to pay the bill again but that you'd block his number permanently on your house phone. Maybe that will help, idk.

katheryn · Mar 09, 2008 at 10:34 AM

we tried thoose ideas silver_queen so its time to ban his no on our phone then she will only be able to phone his house phone, his mums stopped him phoning her

shes 14 old enough to know better,

not only does she spend all free time at school with him twice in week and sat and sun afternoons what do they find to talk about

we have just given him a very basic computer if his mum sets up internet they can talk via msn which will save some money

Rhapsody · Mar 10, 2008 at 03:29 PM

Does your daughter and her bf have the same mobile phone service where the calls are free to each other?

If yes, then I would demand that she stop the house calling or cut off the service to your daughters phone - as I had to do with my older son when his bill became my payment to make..... he was mad at first but calmed down after a few weeks and learned from his mistake of not taking care of his financial responsibilities.

BTW - older son is no longer on our Wireless Account.

happyflowergirl · Mar 10, 2008 at 04:35 PM

Another thing you mentioned that she spends all her free time with her boyfriend and she is only 14. Does she have any school activities or girlfriends? I am not sure it is the most healthy thing for a girl at that age to have nothing in her life but the boyfriend.

katheryn · Mar 10, 2008 at 04:48 PM

daughters phone is diferant phone company than b/f they are both pay as you go, its the house phone bill she has run up again

yes i agree i think she is spending to much time with him or talking to him, but before him she never really hung out with her friends as we live to far away from themshe used to have lots of friends in school but she seems to be moving away from that group

from this tues she has to stay after school on tues and thurs to help in her studies for sicence

also i make her go to our friends with us once a week so she isnt doing the same thing over and over

and from tonight i put my foot down
and only let her have one free hour on phone and told her to find something else to do

but she is going through the stage as to easily wind me up and argue about everything with a raised voice

happyflowergirl · Mar 10, 2008 at 05:49 PM

Sounds good Katheryn. But another red flag is someone who used to have lots of friends but are moving away from that group. Something might be up with her. Is there anyways she could get some counseling or something. Has she said why she isn't wanting to hang around these friends?

When I was growing up I had that problem too, of living away from everyone (we lived in the boonies) and it as hard to have anyone after school to hang out with. Is there anyway you could help her by inviting them to your house (just the girls) for a slumber party and you provide the rides?

All I know is that kids relationships don't usually last forever, and is she gives up her friends, and other stuff, it is ever more devastating if there is a breakup. IT sounds like you are a good mom and want to make her happy, but there are some red flags, I am sure you already know that. Parenting is so hard.

katheryn · Mar 10, 2008 at 06:52 PM

she began self harming last year and is allready having counsilling i tried the have a friend to stay over we also ran around with her to go the pool and things with her friends like i said she doesnt hang out with ppl a lot
our family is full of issues and her being youngest she got full on whats going on
hoping this will be a passing relationship but its been since nov now

happyflowergirl · Mar 10, 2008 at 06:55 PM

(((((Katheryn))))

I am so sorry things are that hard right now. She is so young too. I am glad she is in therapy, does she say she like it or that it helps? Gosh parenting is so hard, I bet it breaks your heart.

katheryn · Mar 10, 2008 at 07:01 PM

she does speak a little bit about it,

Mar 12, 2008 at 11:08 AM

I wish I could get my sons to use their phones at all. I bought them cellphones and they are either left behind or turned off still because they forget to turn them on after classes. I fear that if I don't train them now to keep the cellphone at their hip, they will have trouble with the workforce. Not to mention the times they want to go have lunch at a friend's and don't call, leaving me with food ready for them and no one here to eat it.

Personally, I don't find much need for my cellphone either, but, in a few instances, it came in handy. I wish my sons could see the importance of communication.

katheryn · Mar 12, 2008 at 03:40 PM

it will come my son has now started carrying his around a lot especiaslly as he can put music and videos on there, but carrying it around and making sure its turned on is still be worked on

trixielou · Aug 15, 2008 at 11:49 PM

i have a soon to be 11 year old girl & we had to take her off our phone plan & got her one with unlimited minutes. how a 10 year old can have so many contacts & blow thru so many minutes is beyond me. of course she gets it honestly from my husbands family. they never shut up. always drama in the house. cant talk they have to yell.

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Perna Pandita-in-training Member Since Sep 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 27,289 (SuperPoster!) 17 550 hugs given	Mar 08, 2008 at 05:42 PM #2 Call the phone company and put a block on calls to his number. From BT's site: http://www.productsandservices.bt.com/consumerProducts __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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wisewoman Grand Magnate Member Since May 2004 Posts: 4,415 19	Mar 09, 2008 at 12:55 AM #5 I like what Perna said. My son and nephew made a $700 phone bill and i stopped long distance and still don't have it. I use a calling card. Man those kids and phones!
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happyflowergirl Veteran Member Member Since Nov 2006 Posts: 383 17 1 hugs given	Mar 10, 2008 at 04:35 PM #10 Another thing you mentioned that she spends all her free time with her boyfriend and she is only 14. Does she have any school activities or girlfriends? I am not sure it is the most healthy thing for a girl at that age to have nothing in her life but the boyfriend.
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happyflowergirl Veteran Member Member Since Nov 2006 Posts: 383 17 1 hugs given	Mar 10, 2008 at 06:55 PM #14 (((((Katheryn)))) I am so sorry things are that hard right now. She is so young too. I am glad she is in therapy, does she say she like it or that it helps? Gosh parenting is so hard, I bet it breaks your heart.
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katheryn Legendary Member Since Oct 2005 Location: cornwall/united kingdom Posts: 11,157 18 112 hugs given	Mar 10, 2008 at 07:01 PM #15 she does speak a little bit about it, __________________ No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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