I want another baby

This is a really stupid thing for me to be thinking about right now. So why can't I get the baby jones out of my head.

I see my little girl playing with dolls and playing with the 5-month-old at her daycare, and it is so cute. She's like a little mommy. I always wanted her to grow up with a little brother or sister, I don't want her to be an only child. I wanted something like 2 or 3 year spacing but life just got in the way. She's now 2-1/2 years old.

My marriage is not well. My husband and I fight over stupid things. I have really horrible mood swings and I know I'm difficult to live with.

We live in a teeny-tiny rental duplex. We just bought some land to build a house on - but we fight over the simplest decisions (like doorknobs!). I just don't see how it's ever going to happen.

I'm still obese. I promised myself I would lose the weight before I got pregnant again, just because of all those studies about an overweight/obese mom and the effects on the baby - and especially on breastfeeding, since that didn't work the first time and I really want it to work this time.

And...I'm not well. Might be bipolar. Might just be depression. Who knows. But I need meds. And it will take a while before I can really get to the point where I can even think about weaning off them.

So why do I still keep getting these crazy notions that I want to take my IUD out???

I can't handle another kid. I was horrible in the newborn stage. Severe postpartum depression. I know I'm like 99.9% likely to get that again. What am I THINKING!!

But then when I still keep putting it off, I feel guilty. The longer I wait, the further apart the siblings will be. I really wanted my daughter to have a "friend" to grow up with. A sibling around her age...not 5 years younger.

Stupid stupid guilt. Stupid stupid ideas.

It's not stupid to want another child in your life. It's natural.

It would probably be unwise for you to try at this time, though. A new baby, even with two healthy parents, brings a huge amount of stress with her/him. That's not something that you need right now. Your marriage is rocky right now, you are unwell, and you have a large amount of debt that's coming your way. Do you really want to be pregnant on top of all that?

I know that you're lonely and unhappy at the moment, but a new baby is not the answer to that.

Besides, my brother and I are three years apart and we literally hate each other. Our relationship is terrible, and sometimes I think being on opposite sides of the country is not enough space. My husband, on the other hand, has a great relationship with his little brother, who is a full 8 years younger to the day. Hubby adores him, and he worships hubby. Doesn't like me so much, but it's probably because I made his brother move away. My point is that age difference will not affect whether or not your children become friends.

Before you make any decision like having your IUD removed, you really need to discuss it with your husband.

I get it. I have one son, soon to be five and would love to have a second. But, I know with a bad marriage, anxiety issues, and money never really being great, equals....bad idea.

For me I believe that there is a reason for everything and I have chosen to not have the second, but do so much for my only one! In the end I think it's better for everyone, including my son.
If you still feel you want to have a baby, why not make a one year plan and see where you are then. Who knows, that could be the perfect time for you!

Well I hope things work out so you have your second child.

i see what your saying, my youngest is and i would love to have aother but i know it wouldnt be sensible knowing that our family have issues which another child could be born with, and me and hubby both not in the best place,
so i contend my self with visting a friend especially when her grandchildren are there

There are many 'safer' meds to take during pregnancy. I don't know you but NO ONE has a perfect marriage and no mental health issues no matter what they say. If you want to do it plan it and do it. With or without your spouse. Plan it, research, be prepared. Do what you really want to and not half way because before you know it you will be an old fart like me. People with mental health issues are descriminated against in adoption. It won't be a choice. Make the plans and do what you need to. If you say I want to have a baby by the year 2012. Or something like that.

I am sorry. I seem to give advice when it's not asked for. Your post struck a cord. I wonder if you can just back off and let go of the stress with spouse. Just take care of yourself kinda? Hope I make sense here.