teenagers

katheryn · Apr 13, 2008 at 04:58 PM

daughter who is 14 is kicking off today because she doesnt want to go to school tomorrow, all because b/f isnt going
she started mentioning it fri but i started ignoring it so this evening she keeps asking to stay home but hubby and i say no she then starts screeming and shouting slamming doors,also the insults
i know this is what teenagers do but its a bit much

Perna · Apr 13, 2008 at 05:54 PM

Sweetly point out that even if you did allow her to stay home you wouldn't allow her and boyfriend to see one another :-) She may try to fake sick tomorrow to stay home? So point out to her how her staying home won't work all the way around, no matter what, but her "loud rudeness" to the rest of the family isn't going over real well either and she might not get to see him in any event if she doesn't start exhibiting more age-appropriate behavior? My mother use to tell me I was a little "big for six" when I acted up at that age.

Apr 14, 2008 at 04:21 AM

In hubbys last marriage his teenage step daughter was fond of slamming doors so he removed the doors one day and her reply to him was .......' you are so immature ! ' lol.

I would just reinforce that no matter what she says or does she IS going to school. I found the best way to get to teens was to try and turn it into a joke as they will laugh at themselves given the chance, they are as confused about things as we are I know I can remember hateing my parents from about thirteen to eighteen.

Being confrontational with them at the beginging of a problem normaly escalates it and makes it worse. However saying that, school IS important and its one of the things you wont compramise on that does not mean you are not willing to compramise on other things....

Good luck and remember it does not last forever.

katheryn · Apr 14, 2008 at 07:21 AM

thank you both for your good replys, i never got into a argument with her over this, as i was going to send her anyway, it wasnt untill she was in the car she told me she got b/f to walk with her as normal, then he would walk home again

ty for replys

PsyChris · Apr 14, 2008 at 09:07 PM

I think it is important for her to know that her boyfriend can be an important part of her life without her having to shadow him hah.

wisewoman · Apr 15, 2008 at 12:35 AM

Yeah, the tantrums get old. It to will pass. You may be grey in the end but it does pass. You are going to have to eat the diet of an athlete and train to get through it healthy! Good luck.

katheryn · Apr 15, 2008 at 02:32 AM

thank you too late allready grey

magasanguis · Apr 17, 2008 at 01:25 PM

Good luck getting through those years!

I think the most difficult, and most important, thing about teenagers is maintaining the balance of power until the day they're mature enough to see eye-to-eye with you. And that balance varies with the individual.

Peanuts · Apr 17, 2008 at 09:43 PM

Yikes - teens certainly can be dramatic. I find one of the toughest things is to remain calm and not feed into the drama. But that is sooo difficult, especially when you are tired or in the middle of something and your teen is ramping up for a showdown.

I can't believe I'm even going to say this .. because I HATED it when my parents would say this to me .. but, you might want to just state that other families have different rules and different ways of doing things and that is OK. But that doesn't mean we do things just because others do them. (I don't know if the boy friend is skipping school or has a reason like a Dr. App't for not attending).

In my school district it is painful for kids to miss a day of school - even if the child is home ill. The child has so many days after returning to school to make up all homework, tests, quizes, etc or they get a zero. Doesn't really make it worth the effort to just stay home because.

Good luck - hope it worked out ok.

Peanuts · Apr 17, 2008 at 09:45 PM

"My mother use to tell me I was a little "big for six" when I acted up at that age. "

lol - I love that quote ! I think I will use it on my kids next time a drama event begins to unfold !!

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wisewoman Grand Magnate Member Since May 2004 Posts: 4,415 19	Apr 15, 2008 at 12:35 AM #6 Yeah, the tantrums get old. It to will pass. You may be grey in the end but it does pass. You are going to have to eat the diet of an athlete and train to get through it healthy! Good luck.
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katheryn Legendary Member Since Oct 2005 Location: cornwall/united kingdom Posts: 11,157 18 112 hugs given	Apr 15, 2008 at 02:32 AM #7 thank you too late allready grey __________________ No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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Peanuts Member Member Since Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 297 20	Apr 17, 2008 at 09:45 PM #10 "My mother use to tell me I was a little "big for six" when I acted up at that age. " lol - I love that quote ! I think I will use it on my kids next time a drama event begins to unfold !!
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