Some horrible news concerning my children

I'm so happy for you. Hopefully these exams will be over with quickly and you can start getting your lives back together again with some counseling and things.

I'm just a PM away.



Mary Alice

What a nightmare, I hope things work out soon, but the government has one speed, slow! Good luck to all of you.

We all seem to have a period in life, little or lengthly to where we feel like we are living in a nightmare. You almost go to bed and hope that when you wake up it will all just be okay. You are being put through a lot, Do keep us posted, I am so sorry you are going through rough waters right now. Best of luck wishes, and whatever else you need.

I hope all goes well and you can get your kids home asap hon. keep us posted.

Confoozed,

It must be very difficult and distressing, to say the least, to have your children yanked out of your home the way they were. I would think that the best way to take care of yourself and your family would be for you and your husband to immediately enter couples counseling/marital therapy.

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My daughter had told them in the car that my husband had touched her.

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I hope you are taking your daughter's statements seriously. She must be protected.

Best of luck.

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MissCharlotte said:
Confoozed,

It must be very difficult and distressing, to say the least, to have your children yanked out of your home the way they were. I would think that the best way to take care of yourself and your family would be for you and your husband to immediately enter couples counseling/marital therapy.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My daughter had told them in the car that my husband had touched her.

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I hope you are taking your daughter's statements seriously. She must be protected.

Best of luck.

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It has been a nightmare, like you had said. Unfortunately, my marriage problems have gone beyond therapy and franky, we can't afford it, even on a sliding scale. I have no interest in trying anymore with him after 4 years of reaching out. I know you would understand if you knew the dynamics of that part of our lives.

But yes- even though my daughter had always been known for lying, I have no choice but to take her accusation seriously- even if it was something she'd said a year ago and had later recanted the same allegation. As I said many times... I just want the truth and I'm desperately hoping that her intense therapy will bring that truth to light so that I can act on it.

Yes. Well, if not couples, then individual therapy will help you to separate from your H now, rather than reconstitute the marriage? I was actually thinking of it in terms of helping you to sort out your daughter's problems and learn how best to protect both her and the baby. A T could help you do that. You would feel better about taking care of yourself and your kids.

Hmmmm, if money is an issue maybe you could ask your daughter's T for some assistance? Is there a University nearby where they are training? How about the local Mental Health Department?

Best wishes.

I am sorry that you are going through this. It always seems that the bureaucracy makes things more difficult when they are trying to protect.. We have to hope that the children are safer with them, even if the allegatrions prove later to be false.
I am glad to read that you are meeting with a lawyer. I hope that they are good enough to protect your rights as a parent.
I wonder what you would estimate are the chances that your husband did some of the things that your daughter alleges? You mentioned that she has been lying a lot. Why do you think she was lying?

Thank you, MissCharlotte- all very good suggestions.

And to Tenor- yes- she does have a lying and stealing problem... just a small example- I bought a bag of goldfish for the two kids to share. Rebecca came home from school with a bag and told us they were handed out in class. The bag I bought was missing, but she upheld her story completely for hours (and was very convincing) Turned out, it was the bag I bought for them, after all. She has been known to do a lot of this.

As for the accusation- this is something she had stated a year ago, but later told the same person that it wasn't true- that she was only joking (it was qualified personel that she had told and my husband wasn't around to tell her to say otherwise) Like I said- I just want the truth, no matter what it is, so I can take appropriate action.

UPDATE: Everyone's dragging their feet in this. The two older kids still have not had their physical examinations and won't until July 1st. The CPS caseworker told me that she tried getting sooner appointments but that the Dr's office was booked. They have also had only one therapy session, each so far. I would think that with this instance other avenues could have been tried with priority. The baby checked out perfectly fine and in good spirits, as I expected. Unfortunately, the baby will not be back until the other exams turn out well. We visit the kids on a regular basis and all kids are giddy to see us.

Having the baby away from home hasn't been healthy for her. Obviously, in a new environment with many other kids, sicknesses occur. The baby has had a sinus infection since she's been there, pinkeye and two different body rashes. (the current rash, being an allergic reacion to prescribed medication) I really hate this entire situation.

Thank you for keeping up.

Confoozed,
What a difficult situation. I am also outraged at the mental health system in regard to children. I am a teacher and see alot of kids who desperately need help but can see that the therapy they are receiving is not the best.

If it helps you, my T's opinion on this issue is that kids are sexually curious (brothers/sisters) and many times situations like yours are mishandled. I wish you could see a competent therapist who is knowledgable about these kind of issues.

I am really curious to know what your children spoke about in session with the therapist. I think that you can ask for the therapist's notes, but I'm not sure. I would definitely speak to the therapist and ask what was discussed at each session and how your children reacted.

Your anger is just. Unfortunately, I don't really know what to tell you as to how to handle and help your children. I can only imagine that you must feel helpless and hopeless. It is unacceptable to me that your children won't be seen by a doctor until July 1st. They have been taken away from their mother and that in and of itself is traumatizing. I would posit that CPS is traumatizing your kids by not investigating this case in a timely manner. What are your rights? Has your lawyer helped you any? Can you find an advocate that can help you, maybe in the yellow pages? Have you been informed as to what the therapist noted in the one session that they have had?

I really feel for you and hope that this situation is resolved as quickly as possible. Take care!

Poor baby! She should be with you in my opinion. She doesnt need to be exposed so much due to the risk of sickness. Pink eye, awww poor sweetie.

I would most certainly get a lawyer. What I don't understand is why did they take all of your kids? You did'nt do anything wrong and you made all the right and neseccery reports and things. My prayers are with your family.

<font color="purple"> How horrible </font>

UPDATE:

We have had a total of 2 hearings so far. Two of my kids were released back to my custody but are still considered wards of the state until our parenting classes are complete.

The parenting classes began only a few days before our second hearing because as usual, CPS wanted to drag their feet in getting the referrals done.

But nonetheless, the baby and my son are home. The baby and I have been bonding all over again with walks, activities and cuddle times. My son has just started his freshman year of high school, this past Monday! (I was pretty nervous for him!) They both enjoy being home again.

My 12 yr old girl is still in the facility she's been in and has been working toward her release. They want to be sure she's stable enough to return and that she's able to follow the rules, like she should. They also didn't want to overload me having all the kids back in my care at once.

Fortunately, my daughter has been having home visits for weekends and overnights. This weekend will be for two nights and she's pretty excited about it. Our next court hearing isn't until December, but everyone tells us that she'll be back home long before then. Possibly within a month.

I plan on getting the kids out more often while the weather's still nice. I also plan on finding another Dr. for my children. One who will take my concerns seriously and not report me for calling the emergency department for help. Further, I'll definately be keeping a much closer eye on them as I know that curiosity can sometimes lead to trouble. I've learned to be a better judge on things through all this as well.

So- things are finally returning to normal. Thank you to all who have responded to this thread and to those who have kept in touch with me in my personal messages.

Hugs to all of you for your very kind wishes.