Some horrible news concerning my children

<font color="#880000">I'll just explain everything from the beginning. This is concerning my kids. Please read through.

A few years back, my now 11 yr old daughter accused my husband of touching her inappropriately. Unfortunately, she had been lying quite a bit, during that time. She was also saying that her now 15 yr old brother had "tried to hump" her. It was difficult to decide what to believe. I had no choice but to leave the decision to CPS and therapy and I needed the help. THEY needed their help. My daughter later told them that she had lied and the case was dropped on a satisfying note. The kids' therapy sessions began to include sexual topics per my request. Their psychiatrist then explained to me that curiosity is normal for children their ages and also told them that it was inappropriate between brother and sister.

Naturally, CPS has to be notified for reports like these, which I applaud. The woman who came to visit at that time was understanding but firm and she told me that she has to file the report but was certain it would be dismissed. And it was. She stressed, simply, to keep the kids seperated- and we have been, since then.

A few days ago, I walked into the baby's room, where the kids play playstation. The door was shut because the baby was roaming the house. I heard the playstation going before I opened the door. My son had asked if he could play when he came in from school, like he should have. When I opened the door, I saw my daughter lying on her stomach, eyes closed and my son hovering just above her, horizontally on his knees. (both fully dressed) It shocked me that she was in there without me knowing. They have always known to ask before going into that room and I thought she had gone outside. That day, I was wrong.

The second I opened the door, he jumped back away from her and began pleading with me that he wasn't going to do anything- that he was just going to wrestle with her. His pleading turned to outbursts until he finally gave up. My daughter upheld her story that she was trying to sleep. A few minutes later, my son came back to me and told me it was my daughter's idea.... that she told him to do it.

Shaking, I called the mental health emergency department, like I was told to do. (The kids have already been seeing their doctor there every month) At the most, I was thinking that my son (or both) would be hospitalised for evaluation, therapy and medicine adjustment if needed. The emergency department had to notify CPS, which I had already anticipated.

CPS was here at around 7:00 last night. The woman had to call her supervisor when she learned that this had been a problem before. She was angry that they weren't removed before and she scolded me for not taking action, last time. For not getting them the help they needed for the problem. I tried to explain to her that I did everything I was told to do and that the issue was being addressed in their therapy sessions but she didn't let up. I had also asked for extensive counceling before.... and ended up believing that they were getting all the help they could get.

She made her calls for assistance. After a long while, another car pulled in, along with 2 squad cars. She said the police had to sign the children off. There was one strange moment during this time. The woman read me my rights and went through her explanations and turned to the police officers to sign. The policemen stood there for a while, reluctant to sign, scratching his head, obviously wanting to say something. The woman stood there, looking at him, puzzled for that moment. Then the officer said something like, "Before there's any signing, we need to discuss something, first." I was hoping he'd seen a flaw in her procedure. They stepped outside to talk. In the meantime, I packed some bags for the kids. We don't know what the issue was.

A while later, they came back in and she handed out her papers and instructions. She explained once more that this was the only way to keep the two kids from sneaking away alone for now and didn't have anymore information for us except the court date, this coming Tuesday. We said our goodbyes to the kids and they were gone. I sobbed the minute they left.

About 15 minutes passed and one of the cars returned along with one of the policemen. My heart sank even deeper, instantly. The original woman didn't come, this time. It was only the two white women. They came in and told us that they "have to remove the baby from the home, also". One of the women talked to me, a little more privately, but my husband could still hear. My daughter had told them in the car that my husband had touched her. They had to get the baby out, too. I understood, but of course... it killed me.

My kids are now gone... All of them. My friends told me not to blame myself... but if I would have been more aware that day and known that my daughter was in the room with him, it wouldn't have happened at all. They'd all be here, right now- in their own home.

I just know that they feel really lost, right now. Especially my 1 year old baby... suddenly she's in a different place, with different people and she has no idea why. Mommy and Daddy aren't there, all of a sudden. I really don't think things can get any worse, right now.

What angers me is the fact that children who are abused on a daily basis are still in that environment after countless reports made by everyone, including family members. Or their kids are taken, only to be returned immediately. And I reach out for help and my children are taken. I was told that if things don't get straightened out in 15 months, they'll all be eligible for adoption.

We're good people. We're very honest. I ask for help, when needed, I offer information concerning my family and kids, I do everything that I'm told, I encourage my children to tell the truth and tell everything, I even plan on asking the judge for lie detector tests because I need the truth, too. I always want what's right for my kids and I always want to be a good parent for them. I only want what's right.

I'm sorry this turned out so long, but I wanted to include all the information I could think of regarding this. Questions are most welcome and please tell me your thoughts, no matter what they are. If any of you have encountered anything like this before, please post here? We'll hopefully be obtaining a lawyer soon, but any bit of advice would be most helpful. Even constructive criticism, because I know that I should have been more aware, that day. Maybe an eye opener for me? Encouragement would go a long way, too if you have it. I really need it, right now. If not, then I thank you for reading through all this at least.

EDITED TO ADD: I apologize if anything in this post is inappropriate. If it gets removed, I understand, but I'm really looking for some educated input, right now.</font>

omg this sounds so much to me as something similer that happened to us reacently, im so sorry that the woman bklamed you, she obviously hasnt got children

my thoughts are with you through these trying times, also get advice from a lawyer and make sure everyone thats been involved with you and the children can make statements to how they were being helped

good luck at court on tues

Thank you, Katheryn. Actually the woman has grandchildren. And I completely understand her wanting/needing to do the right thing for other kids. I can't stand child abuse, myself in the slightest, so I admire CPS for that, I truly do.

But like you mentioned, I don't feel that she should have blamed me for not having the correct therapy for my kids. Had I known what my choices were, my children would have had the therapy they both needed all this time, instead of repeating the same behavior again.

I do have several friends to testify all I had done to ensure my kids' mental health. Perhaps I should also obtain all records from their therapists and phsychologist, if it would be allowed?

Thank you for the well wishes. It's greatly appreciated.

I am speechless, sorry to say. All I can offer is gentle hugs, if thats ok.

Thank you, Mybestkids2. A gentle hug goes a very long way, these days.

I am so very sorry as well. I had CPS come in as well but because I didn't have proper ID for my kids (long story). My youngest at the time was 28 days old. I know the aching, gut wrenching pain you are going through.

If you need to talk, please PM me anytime. Best of luck to you.

Mary Alice

I would say call a lawyer immediately. Without one you really have no control over the situation at all!!!

What is your husband saying about all this? Did they arrest him? I cannot imagine what I would do if they took my child away from me. OMG...I would be so upset. My thoughts are with you and of course, your children!

Thank you, Mary Alice. (Planningtosurvive)

I cry all the time. Especially in the mornings. Every morning it feels like they've been ripped from my home all over again. This morning, I woke up with one of my baby's favorite songs stuck in my head... and the day has pretty much taken off from there. I seriously hate mornings for a completely different reason than I did before, now.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

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BrnEyedGrl said:
I would say call a lawyer immediately. Without one you really have no control over the situation at all!!!

What is your husband saying about all this? Did they arrest him? I cannot imagine what I would do if they took my child away from me. OMG...I would be so upset. My thoughts are with you and of course, your children!

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Thank you, BrnEyedGrl. Yes- we have an appointment to see a lawyer, first thing, Monday morning. I feel that we'll do ok, but we'll find out.

My husband is distraught, as well. He misses his baby, terribly (my other two children's father is deceased) and my husband is very worried about the allegations against him. He was never arrested. Of course, I can't choose sides, because I don't know what the truth is, yet. All I know, for now, is that it's such a hard time for all of us and I need to know the truth very badly.

I was given a number to call on Monday, regarding visitation. I think this is the first time I've looked forward to a Monday in my entire life. And hopefully, I'll be able to see my kids at the hearing.

Thank you so much for writing.

EDITED TO ADD: My husband and I had already been seeking divorce for different reasons concerning our personal relationship. If the court finds that my kids cannot be around him, the divorce will help my situation, hopefully.

well, i dont have experiences related to this but so far as i can see: you make things the harder way.
why dont you call the police and take each of the three to the lie detector test immediately you know someone have lied?

you follow the general routine almost perfectly only to get a quite messy result. yeah, there are options out there for you to take when dealing with this kind of stuff, but you have to reason the situation well and make the very best choice out there instead of going through all that is suggested.

well, its not your fault. moms are likely to panic when her children is not fine.

I am so sorry this has happened. You definitely need a lawyer. Any chance the therapst who are working with your children can help ?? After all - you were sending your son & daughter to therapy and I would think that the therapst involved would have made sure they had the appropriate therapy. Not sure why that woman was yelling at you about making sure when it sounds to me like you did everything you could - and did have them in therapy.

I hope things work out for you - this sounds so over the top for the authorities to take such drastic action regarding your baby especially.

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Behindthemoon said:
well, i dont have experiences related to this but so far as i can see: you make things the harder way.
why dont you call the police and take each of the three to the lie detector test immediately you know someone have lied?

you follow the general routine almost perfectly only to get a quite messy result. yeah, there are options out there for you to take when dealing with this kind of stuff, but you have to reason the situation well and make the very best choice out there instead of going through all that is suggested.

well, its not your fault. moms are likely to panic when her children is not fine.

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Thank you for your reply, Behindthemoon.

I'd like to call the police about lie detector tests... but to be honest, I'd like to wait to ask the judge in court, tomorrow. It will go on record that I have asked.... and my concern will be noted, whether the tests can be done or not. I'm hoping they can be done, though. It's vital.

The thing about going with all that's suggested is the fact that I didn't know what else there was available, you know? Even after asking for intense therapy and not getting it... I'm very angry with the kids' mental health services for that.

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately, I didn't quite understand what you meant when you said, "you make things the harder way." I was wondering if you could maybe explain that part a little, for me? Thank you, Behindthemoon.

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Peanuts said:
I am so sorry this has happened. You definitely need a lawyer. Any chance the therapst who are working with your children can help ?? After all - you were sending your son & daughter to therapy and I would think that the therapst involved would have made sure they had the appropriate therapy. Not sure why that woman was yelling at you about making sure when it sounds to me like you did everything you could - and did have them in therapy.

I hope things work out for you - this sounds so over the top for the authorities to take such drastic action regarding your baby especially.

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Thank you so much for this, Peanuts. It's so good to know when someone understands why I'm so angry about all this- and confused, as well. Thank you.

Yes- I can definately ask them for the help, although I'm not sure how they can. Obviously- if I do ask, I know they won't just offer anything specifically. And unfortunately, if I ask for specific help, they probably won't do it. But yes- it's definately a thought.

I do understand their reasons for coming back to take the baby, after my daughter told them what she did. (I'd take the children, too, if I heard a child say something like that, to be honest)... BUT... still using that as a reason after hearing that the case was closed and unfounded the last time.... I dunno... I practically begged her to look over the past files.... and I so hope she does. I'm now wishing there was a way for her to look into it while she was still here, you know? (moreover- I hope someone else looks into it, too- not just her)

btw- I'll be looking to find a different doctor to deal with. Hopefully, I'll be able to find someone for when my children come back.

{{{{{{{{confoozed}}}}}}} I understand about the song stuck in your head. I used to hang on to my youngest child's baby blanket - clutch it to me all the time.

Please keep me informed. I care.

Mary Alice

Thank you, Mary Alice. Hugz to you, too.

I would call their therapist and get copies. then make copies to give to cps and keep an extra set for myself. I hope things work out for you and the kids. (((hugs)))

Thank you, bebop (love the name, btw) I gave our attorney all their information and hopefully it helps. Thanx for the hugs.

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UPDATE: This morning, we retained an attorney. I handed him a lengthy report that will hopefully help. The report contained everything included in my initial post in this thread, plus a lot of personal information concerning my kids and some additional information about how the CPS caseworker conducted things along the way.

It's possible that our baby may be able to come back home to me, soon. My two older children will undoubtedly remain in their current placement to finally receive the PROPER help that they need.

I'm SO ANGRY at the mental health facility that my children have been going to, all these years. I'm completely astounded and disgusted. The fact that their doctor had known everything and had NEVER BOTHERED to recommend intense therapy for my babies!! ALL these difficult years I've spent COPING and DEALING with their problems without an ounce of the kind of help they NEEDED! Many lives have changed because of this! AARGH!!! It makes me just want to friggen scream- I can't stand it. Sorry for the outburst, but jeez! C'mon, people.

Anyways... our court date is tomorrow afternoon. Various family members will be there. One is a possible candidate for the baby's placement, if needed. I'm both nervous and excited at the same time.

*biting nails*
Wish us luck.

{{{{{{{confoozed}}}}}}}} I am so glad that you may get your baby back and that you have an attorney to represent you. It makes all the difference in the world.

Hopefully your other two will also get the treatment they need and come home soon. I will keep your family in my prayers tomorrow and pray for a good outcome. Please let us know what happens.

Mary Alice

(((((((((((((confoozed)))))))))))))

UPDATE AFTER 1ST HEARING:

Today was our first hearing, finally.

The children all remain in placement and will undergo their physical exams. (I'm unsure why this hasn't been done, yet) When things check out correctly, the baby should be home before the next hearing, on the 18th of next month.

This is the part I've been waiting for- not only to have the baby back home again, but to hear the results of the exams. I only hope that they get done soon. Because it needs to be done immediately (just like the CPS caseworker told me) I want it done, asap. That way, I will know.... and the kids can get the correct kind of therapy- either just to learn right from wrong.... or learning to live after molestation.

My two older children will definately get the kind of intense therapy they need, beginning soon. I'll make a point to ensure that all issues are gone over, including the lying problem my daughter has had for quite some time.

In a way, I feel like I'm getting my hopes up... that in a way, I'm expecting my children to come back without all the stress that goes along with ADHD and bipolar... but, I'm now trying to prepare myself for continued stress for when they do return- I can't expect miracles and they're still my babies, after all.

*sigh!*

So- there's my basic rundown for today's events. And now, we focus on getting as much visitation as we can with my kids. Thank you so much to those who have been keeping up with all this. It's so nice having an understanding ear.