protecting my son from my problems

hi, i wrote recent in the general room about something that happened a few days ago with me having some problems with the police. and i was real upset about it. when i talked to my wife about it if was very upset and i cryed some. when i was talking to her i seen that our son was looking into the room and his face he just looked so worryed and scared and confused. he's almost three and he seem me get upset like that a lot. i don't yell and have never done nothing to hurt him and i never will but i'm afraid that him seeing my anxiety and me worryed and getting upset has hurt him some because maybe he don't feel safe like he should because he don't know what's wrong and don't understand. if i get like that i always hold him after i'm calmed down and tell him we love him and he's a good kid and nothing is wrong and he got nothing to worry about but i don't think its good enough anymore. he gets very upset sometimes now to. he's been having trouble sleeping and he crys when i leave and seems to think that i'm not coming back and i thinkthat goes back to when i spent some time in the hospital. i was wondering if any of you guys got some advise on how to protect my son from my mental problems. thank you

sincity, I don't know you or your son but your posts have always come across as being very sincere and open. I understand your concern about your son but it sounds to me as though you're already handling it perfectly. your nuturing is going to go a long way with him. I can't tell you 'dont worry', but I can say that he is going to feel secure in your love for him, and that is more important than whether you seem 'tough'.

thinking of you,
LMo

hi LMO, thank you for writing back. i ain't worryed so much about looking tough. i used to be but that really ain't a big thing to me anymore i know its ok to be open with my emotions aspecialy to my family. what i am worryed about is that my son is to young to understand why i get like this. he is to young to tell the truth about my past and why i got some of these problems and i can tell that he senses something is wrong and is scared.

i think there are probably some good lessons you can teach your son thru these situations. can you summarize your feelings to him at th highest level ("Daddy got scared by something but is ok now") rather than feel as though he wont 'get it' unless he know the details? he probably would appreciate confirmation that what he senses is correct (hence giving him confidence that he can trust his senses) and watching you be able to talk about how you handle scary feelings might help him handle his on scary feelings in an open and articulate way. maybe?

that's true. i didn't think that not telling him something was wrong could make him more confused and not understand more. its hard cause he's in the why why why fase. no matter what it is he's always asking why and what for and when i tryed that saying i just got scared but everything is ok now he wants to know whats scary and i don't know what to say.